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KVKdragon's FML badges
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KVKdragon's favorite FMLs
Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML
by DocBastard / 12/16/2011 at 9:29pm / United States / Kids
by Cano951 / 12/16/2011 at 3:16pm / United States / Money
by Anonymous / 12/15/2011 at 10:55pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/11/2011 at 2:29am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by octoberrain / 10/10/2011 at 7:16pm / United States (Ohio) / Love
Today, I was home alone, and enjoying my freedom decided to walk around naked blaring my radio. What my mother forgot to tell me before she left was that a guy was coming to fix our dish washer today. Imagine our mutual surprise as I danced around the kitchen while getting a drink. FML
by youjustsuck / 07/25/2011 at 2:07pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, after spending 6 months and $15,000 on lawyer fees at my 13 year old son's request, his abusive, alcoholic father no longer has any legal right to see him. How did my son repay me? He ran away to live with his father the very first time I told him he couldn't have friends sleep over. FML
by tomcat69 / 07/10/2011 at 8:01pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by minnEmouse / 06/20/2011 at 10:40pm / United States / Love
by fatteningmeup / 05/26/2011 at 10:24am / United States / Health
Today, I was at Walmart with my mom, when a guy next to me let out a series of vicious farts. Assuming it was me, my mom chewed me out in front of the guy and made me apologize. The man looked at my mom and said, "Children, they're so immature." FML
by nicknick2 / 05/18/2011 at 12:08pm / United States (Delaware) / Miscellaneous
by Monika / 05/05/2011 at 5:04pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
by Diesel / 05/03/2011 at 10:23am / Belgium (Luxembourg) / Transportation
Today, I saw a car swerving in front of me on the freeway, so I whipped out my cell to report the DUI. As soon as it started ringing, I see police lights in my rear view and got slapped with a ticket for using a cell phone while driving. After explaining why, the officer said, "Nice try." FML
by AE86Turbo / 05/03/2011 at 1:22am / United States (California) / Transportation
Today, after teaching my 4 year old son about the concept of "Stranger Danger," we had gone to a park full of people. When I walked up to him to tell him we had to leave, he ran, screaming "Stranger! Don't touch me!" FML
Today, I got pulled by a cop because I forgot to put my registration sticker on. I get nervous around authority and have nervous shakes. I ripped the registration sticker 3 times trying to put it on. The cop then gave me a ticket for "Improper Equipment". FML
by Cody / 04/30/2011 at 2:13am / United States / Transportation
- 1Today, after two weeks of trying to convince my parents to go to my high school graduation. They… 2Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 3Today, my flatmate came home from a date with the same guy that I have been in love with since high…