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Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, I went snowboarding and fell backwards, hitting my head on a patch of ice. When I got home, I told my brother I thought I might have a concussion. He told me I should be a man and suck it, swiftly smacking my head, causing me to pass out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28126) - you deserved it (2437)
On 03/06/2011 at 7:50pm - health - by milkndstufff (man) - United States (New York)
Today, while riding the bus to a really important job interview the child sitting next to me threw up in my lap. His mother then told him to wipe his mouth. He used my sleeve. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32580) - you deserved it (2343)
On 03/02/2011 at 9:49pm - kids - by elfy2 -
Today, I woke up next to my best friend after lots of drinking and the best sex I've ever had in my life. The only problem is we're both straight males. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42543) - you deserved it (33104)
On 02/19/2011 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I dreamed I was getting married. I was wearing a white dress, had incredible cleavage and perfectly done makeup. Just one problem. I'm a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40051) - you deserved it (7605)
On 02/14/2011 at 1:24am - misc - by bride (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my mom and I tried out Just Dance 2 on the Wii. When we both threw out our hands at the same time, my mom's Wii remote hit my hand and ripped my finger nail. As I stared at the bloody, half hanging off nail, my mom muttered, "You should have stayed in your dance space." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24198) - you deserved it (6331)
On 02/05/2011 at 1:41pm - health - by Winchesterlover (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I cried harder than I have in years. I was babysitting, and watching Pokémon to pass the time. It was the episode where Ash, Dawn, and Brock on the show went their separate ways, and may never be together again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12179) - you deserved it (25359)
On 02/05/2011 at 12:22pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, at work, my computer started acting up. I told my boss I could fix it, but he told me to call the IT department instead. Neither the IT technician or his supervisor could figure it out, so I showed them what was wrong and how to fix it. I was promptly fired for wasting 2 hours of company time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28675) - you deserved it (2745)
On 01/05/2011 at 3:25pm - work - by worksux (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I found a note in my boyfriend's car from another girl telling him she hoped he liked the flowers. These were the same flowers he gave me while I was in the hospital, just after having his kid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29262) - you deserved it (2968)
On 12/31/2010 at 2:43am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my daughter told my son that Santa is not real. Of course, being a child, he started to cry. My only problem is, my son is 11 and my daughter is 6. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27723) - you deserved it (4802)
On 12/07/2010 at 1:25pm - kids - by Cherie - United States (New York)
Today, I got a phone call from a friend, who lives in the same neighbourhood as me, wondering if it was my father she saw walking a dog by her house, wearing only his boxers. It was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17545) - you deserved it (1431)
On 12/07/2010 at 5:35am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Ostfold)
Today, my grandmother told me to say "sofa king retarded" really fast. Not only did it take me several attempts to figure out what it meant, I'm now grounded by my mother for having a foul mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10332) - you deserved it (16275)
On 12/06/2010 at 12:03pm - misc - by bribreeeeeezyfreshhh (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, my brother changed the password on my laptop so that I can't log into my profile. All my notes for school are on it and finals start on Monday. Guess who can't remember the new password. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27208) - you deserved it (2570)
On 12/04/2010 at 2:32am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, stood in line for hours to see the new Harry Potter. Unfortunately, once inside the theater, I was stuck in the bathroom with the runs for the entire length of the movie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24801) - you deserved it (4996)
On 11/19/2010 at 4:20pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I began training my replacement at work. She's a senior citizen. She got excited when I taught her how to highlight text on the screen and double-click the mouse because she "never knew how to do those fancy tricks." The job is entirely computer-based. I have to train her for 6 weeks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19552) - you deserved it (1654)
On 11/16/2010 at 8:34pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, my boyfriend was seated in my section at work. As he sees me his face drops... he's on a date. He had forgotten I work there. I had to serve him and his date, and they didn't leave a tip. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36664) - you deserved it (2288)
On 10/28/2010 at 12:27am - love - by heshay - United States (Texas)
Monday 20 May 2013
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