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KVKdragon's FML badges
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KVKdragon's favorite FMLs
Today, my boyfriend has chipped his front teeth for the third time in 2 months. After refusing to tell me how this keeps on happening, I walked in on him throwing his phone in the air and trying to catch it in his mouth. FML
by Anonymous / 09/20/2014 at 11:03am / United States (Washington) / Love
Today, it's been 10 days since my family and I have been visiting France. I've always wanted to try their culinary specialties but my dad says we "can't trust them". We've eaten at McDonald's 9/10 times. FML
by theshire / 08/12/2014 at 2:23am / France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur) / Health
by Anonymous / 08/11/2014 at 8:34pm / United States (Indiana) / Love
by PrincessPromotion / 07/26/2014 at 12:29pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
Today, I woke up from a nap to find my little brother playing some games on my phone. A few hours later I come to find he had deleted all 500 pictures from my trip to Europe last month. He needed more space to download the games. Mom says he's too young to understand what he did wrong. He's 14. FML
by stupid older sister / 07/24/2014 at 5:54pm / United States (Illinois) / Geek
Today, I saw a drunk woman drop her purse in the street. I picked it up and went to give it to her, only for her to scream at me for being a thief. Then she started crying, apologized and hugged me, then got angry again, and finally threw up on me. FML
by all puked out / 07/13/2014 at 5:14pm / Netherlands / Miscellaneous
Today, my cousin asked me what it's like to be so fat. I chastised him and said that was a rude thing to ask. He apologized, then asked me what it's like to be such a pussy. He didn't stop until he, a 10 year old kid, had reduced me, a 26 year old woman, to tears. FML
by keelah / 06/27/2014 at 5:57pm / United States (Alabama) / Kids
by ToddlersWife / 06/15/2014 at 7:10am / United Kingdom (Reading) / Love
Today, I fell down the stairs and broke my leg. My dad helped me to the car so he could drive me to the hospital, but when he saw our neighbor, he went over and had a 15 minute screaming match with him over how his dog keeps shitting on our lawn, all while I sat in the car in agony. FML
by wo-ow / 06/06/2014 at 7:09pm / United States (New York) / Health
Today, I went on a date with a guy I've had a crush on for ages. Midway through the meal, he sighed and said, "I'll be honest, this is a horrible date. You got zero personality and I'm too lazy to do a window escape, so..." He then got up and walked out. FML
by Anonymous / 06/06/2014 at 6:44pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Love
Today, my brother tried to give my dog a walk by attaching an RC helicopter to the leash and following him while flying it. He broke the RC helicopter which cost 300 dollars, and we had to search for the dog for 3 hours. FML
by Ace / 05/21/2014 at 5:38pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by thepixies842 / 05/19/2014 at 11:34am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by ShutTheFuCupcake / 05/13/2014 at 7:46pm / Canada (Alberta) / Health
Today, I used a facial mask for super sensitive skin, recommended by several friends with similar skin issues. Apparently, when the warning says, "May cause some slight redness for thirty minutes", it really means, "Your face will have hives and swell to twice its normal size for several hours." FML
by Tomatoe Face / 04/22/2014 at 1:31am / United States (Tennessee) / Health
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex and in the heat of the moment I cried out for him to go harder. He had an exasperated expression on his face, and in an adamantly offended tone he said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he stopped and left the room. FML
by belljars / 04/17/2014 at 10:27pm / United States (California) / Intimacy