Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

KVKdragon

Offline (21 hours ago) | Search for a member

KVKdragon

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 9 July 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5897
  • Number of comments : 554
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 25 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

KVKdragon's page activity

Visits<b>tcainn</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 12:38pm<b>daydreamstar</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 2:30am<b>_awesomeness585</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 3:08am<b>Welshite</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 9:23pm<b>Raachycat</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 8:16am<b>anniejoy</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 9:41am<b>styleherder</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 2:04pm<b>chemtek</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 12:38am<b>lil_one3</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 12:32am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 3:01pm<b>KJxFTW</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 5:29am<b>Shelby7226</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 12:34am<b>simplysarcastics</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 5:46pm<b>BigJoeZD</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 10:39am<b>robvandamn</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 7:59am<b>zach205</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 12:39pm<b>RainbowxxVeinsx</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 2:17am<b>ona16</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 2:28am

KVKdragon's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of KVKdragon's badges

KVKdragon's favorite FMLs

Today, I fell down the stairs and broke my leg. My dad helped me to the car so he could drive me to the hospital, but when he saw our neighbor, he went over and had a 15 minute screaming match with him over how his dog keeps shitting on our lawn, all while I sat in the car in agony. FML

#21165275
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48561) - you deserved it (3954)

On 06/06/2014 at 7:09pm - health - by wo-ow (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went on a date with a guy I've had a crush on for ages. Midway through the meal, he sighed and said, "I'll be honest, this is a horrible date. You got zero personality and I'm too lazy to do a window escape, so..." He then got up and walked out. FML

#21165255
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55197) - you deserved it (9094)

On 06/06/2014 at 6:44pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my brother tried to give my dog a walk by attaching an RC helicopter to the leash and following him while flying it. He broke the RC helicopter which cost 300 dollars, and we had to search for the dog for 3 hours. FML

#21147533
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40610) - you deserved it (8274)

On 05/21/2014 at 5:38pm - kids - by Ace - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at my job at a fast-food restaurant, I once again got called into the men's bathroom to break up sex between two homeless people. FML

#21145062
192 comments

Today, I flexed so hard for a selfie, I gave myself a hernia. FML

#21138987
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22320) - you deserved it (64386)

On 05/13/2014 at 7:46pm - health - by ShutTheFuCupcake (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I used a facial mask for super sensitive skin, recommended by several friends with similar skin issues. Apparently, when the warning says, "May cause some slight redness for thirty minutes", it really means, "Your face will have hives and swell to twice its normal size for several hours." FML

#21119632
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38296) - you deserved it (4531)

On 04/22/2014 at 1:31am - health - by Tomatoe Face - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex and in the heat of the moment I cried out for him to go harder. He had an exasperated expression on his face, and in an adamantly offended tone he said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he stopped and left the room. FML

#21115855
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58329) - you deserved it (8273)

On 04/17/2014 at 10:27pm - intimacy - by belljars (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my professor ran half a mile in the pouring rain just to return my cell phone, which I had left behind in lecture. Shocked and embarrassed, I exclaimed, "You shouldn't have!" "Damn right," he responded, "I'm 64 years old." FML

#21113974
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38343) - you deserved it (11441)

On 04/15/2014 at 7:18pm - work - by sad but true. - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't know what it's like to be turned on. Apparently, I've been doing something wrong for the past two years. FML

#21094011
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47212) - you deserved it (6661)

On 03/23/2014 at 1:31am - intimacy - by BustedEgo (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I learned that most teenagers would rather grab free candy from the broken vending machine than help the guy stuck underneath it get free. FML

#21093947
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41977) - you deserved it (4726)

On 03/23/2014 at 12:05am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad took me to a bar for my first legal drink. He quickly got "drunk" and started slurring that I was an accident, saying the only reason I'm alive is because he'd been too poor to pay for an abortion. As I started crying, he burst out laughing and said soberly, "Just kidding, son." FML

#21092859
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44115) - you deserved it (5763)

On 03/21/2014 at 6:35pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I went to a paintball match with my family and the family of my brother's girlfriend. A few minutes into, my brother's girlfriend's dad snuck up on me, unloaded into me from behind, and snarled, "That's for knocking my daughter up." He got the wrong guy. My back is killing me. FML

#21092834
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38835) - you deserved it (3116)

On 03/21/2014 at 5:44pm - health - by iusedprotectionanyway (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, a coworker filed a complaint against me, all because I ate a banana at lunch, which he claimed is "threateningly sexual", whatever the hell that means. FML

#21090158
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41882) - you deserved it (3704)

On 03/18/2014 at 5:31pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had an elaborate fantasy of what I would do if I became a cat and how I would make my way to my crush's house to be their cat. FML

Today, after working 12 hours, my scooter broke down 2 miles from home. I had to walk myself and my scooter home all uphill. My boyfriend and his friends drove by, honked and kept going. FML



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: