KM96

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KM96

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 11761
  • Number of comments : 302
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 32 posted

About KM96 : I enjoy reading FMLs of course :P #everymorning #likethemorningpaper

KM96's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/29/2016 at 8:17pm<b>FyeahPoet</b> - the 03/01/2016 at 2:44pm<b>MrGodface</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 4:36pm<b>americanafrican</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 3:28am<b>Radgears47</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 4:44am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 9:36am<b>Smackay1234</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 12:34am<b>stonerboy15</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 3:38pm<b>cmonger</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 12:01am<b>ksadhera</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 1:23am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 11:19am<b>sofaqueen_</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 4:34pm<b>Dany93</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 11:49am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 10:45am<b>pam_2625</b> - the 04/01/2014 at 9:58pm<b>princessSLPS16</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 6:00am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 8:49pm<b>MiaChante</b> - the 11/18/2013 at 12:32am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 7:42pm<b>Radgears47</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 10:44am

KM96's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of KM96's badges

KM96's favorite FMLs

Today, while on the bus, the guy sitting beside me let out the vilest and most nauseating fart I've ever encountered, the kind that could retroactively sterilize five generations of one's ancestors with the smell alone. As I gagged, he smirked and said, "That's Taco Bell for ya." FML

by methane overload / 01/18/2013 at 8:32pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, at an open mic comedy club, my jokes went down so poorly that someone decided to hurl a chair at me on-stage. FML

by Anonymous / 01/18/2013 at 7:26pm / Iceland / Work

Today, a bull escaped from the small farm down the street. It ended up in my yard and would not let me outside. I called animal control, who said, "We only deal with regular animals." FML

by bull-stuff / 01/17/2013 at 10:48pm / United States (South Carolina) / Animals

Today, I had to explain to my husband that the 5-second rule doesn't apply if you drop the floss into the toilet. FML

by PeeFlavouredFloss / 01/13/2013 at 10:36pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, as per usual, my mother went to see her psychic, who told her that one of her children is harbouring a "dark secret". Now we're all grounded until one of us confesses our obviously non-existent secret. FML

by daughter of a gullible cunt / 01/13/2013 at 4:02pm / Australia / Miscellaneous

Today, while trying to quietly sneak a midnight snack with my girlfriend, I was slowly opening the pantry door so I wouldn't wake my mother. My girlfriend came and swung open the door onto my foot, taking the top layer of skin with it. FML

by Anonymous / 01/13/2013 at 7:41am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I opened the door to go out for groceries. Lying on my doorstep was a pile of poop. A piece of paper was taped to the ground beside it that read, "Do it again and you'll get more than dog shit." I don't have the slightest clue who I pissed off, or how. FML

by fucking mafia or what?? / 01/12/2013 at 5:02pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom made up a new game. She thinks it's hilarious to hide my brother's creepy Batman toy around the house to creep me out. This has been going on for hours and I still scream every time. FML

by poohanne / 01/12/2013 at 1:36am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was yet again asked to show my hall pass. I'm 23 and work at a middle school. I've worked here for the last five months, so not only do I look 13 years old, I'm also not memorable enough for my own coworkers to recognize me. FML

by Can'tAgeOrMakeFriends / 01/11/2013 at 8:11pm / United States / Work

Today, trying to be sweet, I told my girlfriend that I'm so happy we met one another. She muttered, "Well, that makes one of us." FML

by wtf did i do?? / 01/11/2013 at 5:22pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, marks the sixth day in a row that my mum has called me to discuss my upcoming wedding. She's obsessed and has intimidated the actual planner I hired into going along with her plans. She's slipped up twice already and accidentally referred to it as her own wedding. Just great. FML

by fuck you, mum / 01/11/2013 at 5:19pm / United Kingdom / Love

Today, I have severe back pain that is only relieved by lying flat on my bed. I also have acid reflux that is only prevented by sitting straight up. FML

by Kftc88 / 01/11/2013 at 3:03am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I told my girlfriend that my identical twin and I are not in fact related, that he's adopted, and that the only reason we look exactly the same is because we eat and drink the same things. She actually believed it. FML

by datingablonde / 01/11/2013 at 12:20am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous

Today, the abandoned cat that I took in for the night and during bad weather seems to have spread fleas around my house. They're everywhere. FML

by jesspie / 01/10/2013 at 9:41pm / United Kingdom / Animals

Today, I went out for dinner with my long-term crush, who turned out to be a huge dog person. He asked me which dog breed I like the most. In an attempt to reply with both Labrador and Doberman, I accidentally said Dumbledore. FML

by Anonymous / 01/10/2013 at 7:20am / Slovakia / Miscellaneous