Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?

KM96

Search for a member

KM96
  • Town/Country : Where ever
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 512
  • Number of comments : 299
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 32 posted

About KM96 : I enjoy reading FMLs of course :P

I love ...
Music
Dance
Purple
Animals
Family
Friends
Katy Perry
Taylor Swift
Miranda - the TV show
Kath and Kim
Movies
The Mentalist
Castle

I don't like ...
School (but I work hard anyway)
Arrogant people
Public toilets
Horrible smells
People that smoke
Homework
Sci-Fi

Well have a good day :) Message me! Well if u want, but I'm on my phone so won't reply fast :D

KM96's last visitors

gary3768MornaiSillyGirl4602oneforceonelexxiiiHKCgrimmjowbwzwally8Pitbull305

KM96's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

See all of KM96's badges

KM96's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend found out you can use food coloring in anything. Everything she cooks is now in bright neon colors. I feel like I'm in a Dr Seuss book. FML

#20475517
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26212) - you deserved it (3972)

On 01/23/2013 at 8:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my friend set me up on a blind date, to get my mind off having been recently broken up with. The guy was perfect: tall, muscular, handsome. But while we were watching a movie, I saw him dig around in his nose, then wipe his finger on my pants. FML

#20474869
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28439) - you deserved it (2787)

On 01/23/2013 at 1:44pm - love - by Stickysituation - United States (New York)

Today, I have to take a midterm, which is worth a large part of my grade. All our teacher has taught us so far is how to roast s'mores over a Bunsen burner, and how to make gummy bears explode. Our test is on kinetics. FML

#20471562
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23434) - you deserved it (2264)

On 01/21/2013 at 4:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my home-made pasta sauce had a weird taste to it because my basil patch in the backyard has become my dog's preferred spot to pee. FML

#20467403
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25650) - you deserved it (4968)

On 01/19/2013 at 2:40am - animals - by damnthedog (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while on the bus, the guy sitting beside me let out the vilest and most nauseating fart I've ever encountered, the kind that could retroactively sterilize five generations of one's ancestors with the smell alone. As I gagged, he smirked and said, "That's Taco Bell for ya." FML

#20466884
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29512) - you deserved it (2562)

On 01/18/2013 at 8:32pm - misc - by methane overload (man) - United States

Today, at an open mic comedy club, my jokes went down so poorly that someone decided to hurl a chair at me on-stage. FML

#20466782
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21406) - you deserved it (10286)

On 01/18/2013 at 7:26pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Iceland

Today, a bull escaped from the small farm down the street. It ended up in my yard and would not let me outside. I called animal control, who said, "We only deal with regular animals." FML

#20465397
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25610) - you deserved it (1277)

On 01/17/2013 at 10:48pm - animals - by bull-stuff - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I had to explain to my husband that the 5-second rule doesn't apply if you drop the floss into the toilet. FML

#20458013
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27540) - you deserved it (1961)

On 01/13/2013 at 10:36pm - misc - by PeeFlavouredFloss (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, as per usual, my mother went to see her psychic, who told her that one of her children is harbouring a "dark secret". Now we're all grounded until one of us confesses our obviously non-existent secret. FML

#20457387
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28702) - you deserved it (1537)

On 01/13/2013 at 4:02pm - misc - by daughter of a gullible cunt (woman) - Australia

Today, while trying to quietly sneak a midnight snack with my girlfriend, I was slowly opening the pantry door so I wouldn't wake my mother. My girlfriend came and swung open the door onto my foot, taking the top layer of skin with it. FML

#20456813
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25392) - you deserved it (3454)

On 01/13/2013 at 7:41am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I opened the door to go out for groceries. Lying on my doorstep was a pile of poop. A piece of paper was taped to the ground beside it that read, "Do it again and you'll get more than dog shit." I don't have the slightest clue who I pissed off, or how. FML

#20455625
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25670) - you deserved it (2102)

On 01/12/2013 at 5:02pm - misc - by fucking mafia or what?? (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mom made up a new game. She thinks it's hilarious to hide my brother's creepy Batman toy around the house to creep me out. This has been going on for hours and I still scream every time. FML

#20454752
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18385) - you deserved it (7091)

On 01/12/2013 at 1:36am - misc - by poohanne - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was yet again asked to show my hall pass. I'm 23 and work at a middle school. I've worked here for the last five months, so not only do I look 13 years old, I'm also not memorable enough for my own coworkers to recognize me. FML

#20454196
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30749) - you deserved it (2411)

On 01/11/2013 at 8:11pm - work - by Can'tAgeOrMakeFriends (woman) - United States

Today, trying to be sweet, I told my girlfriend that I'm so happy we met one another. She muttered, "Well, that makes one of us." FML

#20453944
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24367) - you deserved it (2053)

On 01/11/2013 at 5:22pm - misc - by wtf did i do?? (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, marks the sixth day in a row that my mum has called me to discuss my upcoming wedding. She's obsessed and has intimidated the actual planner I hired into going along with her plans. She's slipped up twice already and accidentally referred to it as her own wedding. Just great. FML

#20453938
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28542) - you deserved it (2528)

On 01/11/2013 at 5:19pm - love - by fuck you, mum (woman) - United Kingdom



FML's blog

  • Sharina's Illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! Glad to see you all again, hope you’re doing fine and dandy. We are, amazing stuff has happened in amongst all the drudge and sludge. We’ve spent the week listening to the greatest album ever…

Friday 24 May 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: