Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

KM96

Search for a member

KM96
  • Town/Country : Where ever
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3196
  • Number of comments : 302
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 32 posted

About KM96 : I enjoy reading FMLs of course :P

I love ...
Music, Dance, Purple, Animals, Family, Friends, Katy Perry, Taylor Swift, Miranda - the TV show, Kath and Kim, Movies, The Mentalist and Castle

I don't like ...
School (but I work hard anyway), Arrogant people, Public toilets, Horrible smells, People that smoke, Homework and Sci-fi.

Well have a good day :)

KM96's last visitors

princessSLPS16alexmac222MiaChanteSixthSinEnvyFuckMyLife_NinjaDallasluver19gary3768MornaiSillyGirl4602

KM96's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of KM96's badges

KM96's favorite FMLs

Today, I kindly asked my boyfriend to shave his pubic hair to make oral sex more enjoyable for me. He declined, saying, "Think of it as flossing your teeth. I'm doing you a much needed favor." FML

#19803721
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26700) - you deserved it (4779)

On 06/17/2012 at 9:00pm - intimacy - by turnedoff (woman) - United States

Today, I was using a public toilet when someone entered the stall next to mine. Instead of using the facilities, the person in there reached under the stall to steal my bag. Fortunately, I was holding the strap so they couldn't take it. Unfortunately, they decided to take my right shoe instead. FML

Today, it was my birthday, and I woke up to my dad telling me that we're going to Disneyland. Apparently, by "we" he meant him and my mom. They did, however, make a point to say "happy birthday" before they left. FML

#19648886
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27539) - you deserved it (1608)

On 05/19/2012 at 10:04pm - misc - by Schubey (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I discovered that my acne glows yellow and orange under black lights while in front of a wall of them at a club. FML

#19630499
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19869) - you deserved it (2070)

On 05/16/2012 at 12:43am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to the store for some pads with my dad. We got them and then went to the cashier. That's when he realized that they were scented. He took one out of the box, sniffed it, made me sniff it, then insisted the cashier smell it. FML

#19614809
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22769) - you deserved it (2002)

On 05/13/2012 at 1:02am - misc - by vron991 - United States (Delaware)

Today, I walked in on my new puppy peeing on the carpet. The trainer had told me to punish her when she's bad by shaking a metal can of pennies at her, since the noise scares dogs. I shook it at her, and she responded by having explosive diarrhea all over the carpet in fright. FML

#19578544
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15310) - you deserved it (27025)

On 05/05/2012 at 7:07pm - animals - by doggone - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had my headphones on while on the bus. I didn't realize how loud the music was till the woman sitting next to me punched me for changing her favorite song and then "ignoring her" when she asked me to put it back. FML

#19540360
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19482) - you deserved it (7872)

On 04/28/2012 at 12:41am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was walking down the street, when an aging lady bumped into me and fell over. I helped her up and she thanked me for being "such a nice young man". It was only an hour later as I was in line at the store that I realized she had pickpocketed me of my wallet. FML

#19539590
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25292) - you deserved it (2031)

On 04/27/2012 at 9:55pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was trying on some clothes in the store's changing room, when someone reached under the door and grabbed my purse, shoes, and pants. FML

#19511561
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18895) - you deserved it (1805)

On 04/22/2012 at 3:08pm - misc - by Gitana (woman) - Spain (Navarra)

Today, I discovered I have really bad dandruff. I learned this when I went indoor mini golfing and my whole upper body lit up like a Christmas tree underneath the black light. Among my friends I'm now known as the abominable snowman. FML

#19509348
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19098) - you deserved it (3732)

On 04/22/2012 at 1:24am - health - by Andrew7847 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I locked my car. I put the key in my bag when suddenly my car began to roll backwards. I tried to get the key out of my bag but couldn't find it, and with the other hand I tried to stop the car. The worst thing was that some dumbass was watching me and didn't help. FML

#19499444
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10465) - you deserved it (17089)

On 04/20/2012 at 2:41am - misc - by rabbitoncocaine (woman) - Germany (Thuringen)

Today, I congratulated a bride standing in front of a church in a white dress. Turns out she'd been stood up at the altar. She thrashed me with her bouquet. FML

#19482907
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21320) - you deserved it (3117)

On 04/17/2012 at 6:52am - misc - by Wrongword - China (Shanghai)

Today, I got into an argument with my dad in his hotel room. I lost my temper and stormed out onto the balcony for some fresh air, at which point he decided to lock the door behind me, trapping me there for half an hour while he watched TV. FML

#19468154
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16832) - you deserved it (10101)

On 04/14/2012 at 6:56pm - misc - by fuckbucket14 - Egypt (Al Bahr al Ahmar)

Today, I faced down the Godzilla of all spiders. I smashed the goddamned holy shit out of it. Trying to impress my cute new roommate, I scooped up the remains and showed him. It was his pet tarantula. FML

#19214836
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17093) - you deserved it (18489)

On 03/04/2012 at 3:46pm - misc - by Hannah (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I took my grandmother for a spin in my new car. Apparently, she had no idea that seat-warmers exist and that hers was turned on, because fifteen minutes into the ride she started shouting, "My ass is on fire!" causing me to swerve into a pole. FML

#19099160
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23143) - you deserved it (6536)

On 02/17/2012 at 8:25am - misc - by BOOP - United States (Montana)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: