Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

KM96

Offline (15 hours ago) | Search for a member

KM96

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4467
  • Number of comments : 302
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 32 posted

About KM96 : I enjoy reading FMLs of course :P

I love ...
Music, Dance, Purple, Animals, Family, Friends, Katy Perry, Taylor Swift, Miranda - the TV show, Kath and Kim, Movies, The Mentalist and Castle

I don't like ...
School (but I work hard anyway), Arrogant people, Public toilets, Horrible smells, People that smoke, Homework and Sci-fi.

Well have a good day :)

KM96's page activity

Visits<b>sofaqueen_</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 4:34pm<b>Dany93</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 11:49am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 10:45am<b>pam_2625</b> - the 04/01/2014 at 9:58pm<b>princessSLPS16</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 6:00am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 8:49pm<b>MiaChante</b> - the 11/18/2013 at 12:32am<b>SixthSinEnvy</b> - the 09/17/2013 at 5:01pm<b>bacon69148</b> - the 09/02/2013 at 9:24pm<b>FuckMyLife_Ninja</b> - the 07/21/2013 at 6:40pm<b>Dallasluver19</b> - the 07/13/2013 at 4:10pm<b>gary3768</b> - the 05/26/2013 at 1:19am<b>Mornai</b> - the 05/22/2013 at 11:34pm<b>limark</b> - the 03/17/2013 at 7:23am<b>SillyGirl4602</b> - the 03/10/2013 at 6:12am<b>Koankuru</b> - the 03/10/2013 at 5:27am<b>classybrunette</b> - the 03/02/2013 at 5:43pm<b>annihil8or</b> - the 02/26/2013 at 12:19am

KM96's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of KM96's badges

KM96's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the dentist to get a tooth filled. The nurse just finished taking my info when the doctor came in and started drilling. Through my chorus of screams he realized he'd forgotten to numb me. His only response was, "Guess I forgot to numb ya, huh?" while giggling. FML

#20662624
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55560) - you deserved it (3943)

On 05/14/2013 at 8:03am - health - by toothache - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML

#20640901
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49835) - you deserved it (7052)

On 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm - misc - by emasculated 10000% (man) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

#20617044
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79424) - you deserved it (4082)

On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States

Today, I got ancestry DNA tests for my parents and myself. The DNA testing company informed me that I'm a 50% match for my mother but I share no DNA with my father. Apparently, both my parents forgot that they used a sperm donor. This insignificant detail has slipped their minds for 35 years. FML

#20600180
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45784) - you deserved it (2841)

On 04/17/2013 at 6:56pm - misc - by Flora (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my daughter has been stuffing my push-up bras and lipstick into her backpack, putting them on at school, and taking them off before she gets home. She's 9. The only reason I found out is because her teacher reported me to social services. FML

#20582376
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49619) - you deserved it (4904)

On 04/09/2013 at 4:42pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I walked in on my husband eating cat food out of the cat bowl dressed in a cat costume. FML

#20577178
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51155) - you deserved it (5642)

On 04/06/2013 at 7:42am - misc - by confusedcatlover (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I texted a girl I met at the bar last night. She accused me of being "fake" because she couldn't find me on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter, then threatened to call the cops on me. FML

#20566421
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34542) - you deserved it (3009)

On 03/30/2013 at 1:23am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant, and was diagnosed with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD, because he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did, as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. FML

#20565460
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44326) - you deserved it (15074)

On 03/29/2013 at 1:18pm - misc - by fucked by sex ed (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I lost my dog and so I put up 'lost' signs. As I was coming back home I noticed one had been written on. It said: "Found your dog. Keeping it". FML

#20556107
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48245) - you deserved it (3073)

On 03/23/2013 at 7:43am - animals - by Hurrikhan - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, a small fly flew straight up into my nose. I spent 10 minutes trying to blow/scratch/pick it out to no avail. I can still feel it moving. FML

#20556028
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38561) - you deserved it (2659)

On 03/23/2013 at 4:17am - misc - by WTFLY (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I met my mom's fiancé. He's a nice guy, he's also my wife's dad. I'll soon call my wife my sister. FML

#20544337
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46708) - you deserved it (2960)

On 03/15/2013 at 1:31am - misc - by guy - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I told my girlfriend I've been a vegetarian for 6 years. Hearing this, my mom said, "No, you're not. I fry your mushrooms and onions in bacon grease." With this new information, I've been a vegetarian for about 76 hours. FML

#20544221
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33536) - you deserved it (8720)

On 03/15/2013 at 12:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I discovered the "may have a laxative effect" warning on my sugar-free jelly beans should actually read "don't fart after consuming". FML

#20543064
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27746) - you deserved it (4927)

On 03/14/2013 at 2:21am - health - by Kimberpoo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, instead of actually teaching us something, our college professor excitedly showed us the godawful Harlem Shake video he made with his friends. FML

#20533295
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30452) - you deserved it (4429)

On 03/06/2013 at 6:51am - work - by Will this stupid fad ever end? (man) - United States

Today, my psychopathic ex-girlfriend spray-painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van, knowing damn well I have to park it in front of an elementary school on a daily basis to pick up my daughter. FML

#20532616
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40867) - you deserved it (3848)

On 03/05/2013 at 7:07pm - kids - by cjw - United States



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: