Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

KLEOPOLD1998

Search for a member

KLEOPOLD1998

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 January 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 68
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About KLEOPOLD1998 : Why would I write about me ?

KLEOPOLD1998's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of KLEOPOLD1998's badges

KLEOPOLD1998's favorite FMLs

Today, I have a final for my precalculus class. After hours of studying this week, I felt pretty optimistic. Until I got to class and realized that I'd forgotten my calculator. FML

#20172402
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21216) - you deserved it (6620)

On 11/21/2012 at 1:16pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I woke up with a vague memory of buying something last night while drunk. According to my credit card summary I made a $270 purchase from a home shopping channel. I guess in 5-7 days I'll find out what it was. FML

#20147165
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9023) - you deserved it (25566)

On 11/04/2012 at 11:37am - money - by fnfantastic - United States (Indiana)

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. My dad looked at him and said, "Nice outfit, but it's a little late for Halloween." Before I could intervene, my boyfriend said that joke had been done to death, to which my dad retorted, "Yeah, so has your mum." Instant fistfight. FML

#20144826
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28425) - you deserved it (2929)

On 11/02/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by for fuck sake dad (woman) - Ireland (Limerick)

Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML

#20128322
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29707) - you deserved it (4518)

On 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm - kids - by thebeachisthatway (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, on the first cold night of autumn, I realized I need a girlfriend because the only way I can stay warm is if I spoon with my dog. FML

#20127903
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16632) - you deserved it (4389)

On 10/22/2012 at 3:31am - misc - by sadguyme (man) - United States (California)

Today, while my mother's blind friend was waiting in our kitchen for my mom to come home, I thought it would be funny to talk to her in the nude. Turns out she's only blind in one eye. FML

#20127252
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5895) - you deserved it (50963)

On 10/21/2012 at 8:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend tried to wake me with a handjob. Because I'm a very light sleeper, I woke straight away and instinctively punched whoever was touching my dick. She forgave me, but I don't think her father ever will once he finds out. FML

#20125284
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19973) - you deserved it (4605)

On 10/20/2012 at 1:29pm - love - by nahalDZ - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I had to pick my parents up from the hospital and drive them back home, after they were treated for eating large amounts of cheese that my dad claimed to have "aged" for several years. FML

#20116789
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17349) - you deserved it (1257)

On 10/14/2012 at 4:36pm - health - by oppafucktardstyle (man) - United States (New York)

Today, just for old time's sake, I decided to jump on my bed. I ended up hitting my head on the spinning fan and knocking myself unconscious. FML

#20114543
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9704) - you deserved it (30526)

On 10/13/2012 at 2:45am - health - by lalalalainie - United States (California)

Today, I was fiddling around with the thermostat at my new place. For a laugh, I twisted the knob all the way to 40° celsius, when it snapped off. I don't have a clue how to fix it. FML

#20104478
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7229) - you deserved it (36871)

On 10/06/2012 at 4:29pm - misc - by didntknowyoucouldbreakit (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I have a massive headache, thanks to my asshat of a roommate, who decided to balance our tea kettle on the top of the kitchen door. When I stumbled into the kitchen, half-awake, it came smashing down onto my head. FML

#20103084
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18865) - you deserved it (1662)

On 10/05/2012 at 4:25pm - health - by sharky (man) - United States

Today, I used the phrase "bitch please" in real life. It was funny until the "bitch" bitch-slapped me in the face. FML

#20100764
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7515) - you deserved it (28383)

On 10/03/2012 at 11:14pm - misc - by staticman101 - United States (Michigan)

Today, I finally got my hands on the new iPhone 5, after I pulled it out of a patient's rectum. FML

#20098468
392 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33168) - you deserved it (2540)

On 10/02/2012 at 3:39pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my sister stopped by to visit me with her pet bird in tow. She asked me to hold the animal while she went to the toilet, and put it on my shoulder. It promptly shat on my only clean shirt and tore away a good deal of skin from my hand when I tried to get it off me. FML

#20084743
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17838) - you deserved it (2110)

On 09/23/2012 at 7:11am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I got rear-ended. An old woman got out and came over to my car window. I thought she was coming to apologize and trade insurance companies. Instead, she poured her soda on my head, ran back into her car, and drove away. FML

#20050170
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23136) - you deserved it (1452)

On 08/30/2012 at 10:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: