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KINGMARIO

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KINGMARIO
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 4120
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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KINGMARIO's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me at the zoo. With a Ring Pop. He was serious. FML

#3470108
444 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61035) - you deserved it (11743)

On 07/04/2009 at 12:49am - love - by Cococautly (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to take a leak, so I went into a porta-john. I noticed another man's hand under the door with a cell phone. Angered, I aimed my stream at his hand and phone. He tilted the porta-john over in response. It was full. FML

#3414555
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41672) - you deserved it (19491)

On 07/02/2009 at 12:13am - misc - by S4L - Sent from mobile version

Today, I finally hooked up with the boy of my dreams at a party. Later, while on aim, I noticed one of his friends away messages was a quote from the guy's screen name, which said "I can't believe what I stick my d... In sometimes." FML

#3383577
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40053) - you deserved it (10885)

On 07/01/2009 at 12:41am - love - by Bulldogs09 - Sent from mobile version

Today, the cable repairman came to fix my cable which has never worked well. The entire time he was talking about how much extra money he got the "fat bitch who moved here 6 months ago" to pay for her cable. I moved in 6 months ago. I was pregnant. FML

#3319716
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47102) - you deserved it (2645)

On 06/28/2009 at 8:44pm - misc - by fmerunning (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that the love of my life, who I've been going out with for two weeks only, asked me out because he lost a bet. Apparently I'm the punishment for not being able to eat 10 hot dogs. FML

#3053802
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48411) - you deserved it (10799)

On 06/20/2009 at 4:02am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was enjoying some much needed serenity while I ate lunch in an empty park. To my surprise, an older, clean cut man in a suit sits on the bench next to me. Without saying a word, he unleashes the most foul of farts I've ever witnessed, gets up, gives me a nod and leaves. FML

#2932416
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65315) - you deserved it (4228)

On 06/16/2009 at 2:15am - misc - by Tim (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out my mom paid my best friend $20 to be my friend when we were 10. FML

#2699534
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (112998) - you deserved it (4872)

On 06/07/2009 at 7:15pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after masturbating in the shower, I heard my phone go off outside the bathroom. After my mom saw me get my phone to check my messages she said "I think you're addicted to that", to which I said "but it feels so good and every guy does it." She was talking about how I text people a lot. FML

#2682803
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10430) - you deserved it (67133)

On 06/07/2009 at 2:47am - intimacy - by Jon (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I volunteered for a school play. During rehearsal, I was playing the part of an average housewife. The teacher asked for a volunteer to be my husband. Thirty seconds go by and no one raises their hand. The teacher ended up playing the part because no else wanted to. FML

#2589688
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12501) - you deserved it (1722)

On 06/04/2009 at 1:33am - love - by xXitslolaXX - United States (California)

Today, I was on the phone with my best guy friend, who I have loved for years. I was talking about school and all of a sudden he said "I love you." I flipped out saying "Oh my god, oh my god. I love you, too!" He responded with "what?" He was talking to his mom, who was walking out the door. FML

#2537729
405 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58014) - you deserved it (14579)

On 06/02/2009 at 4:51pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, in my class I was nominated for the guy with the worst hairdo. I don't know what is worse, the fact that I was nominated or the fact that I felt let down when I did not win. FML

#1744695
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37424) - you deserved it (6927)

On 05/08/2009 at 7:20am - misc - by GK (man) - Australia

Today, a car was waiting for me to cross the street so I thought it would be funny to slowly limp across the street. When I got to the end, I jumped as high as I could to show I was faking. Turns out I tripped and hit my head hard on the sidewalk. That car took me to the hospital. FML

#820879
348 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12854) - you deserved it (207873)

On 04/05/2009 at 5:39pm - misc - by funnyguyNOT (man) - United States



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

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  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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