Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

KINGMARIO

Search for a member

KINGMARIO
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4127
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

KINGMARIO's last visitors

KINGMARIO's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

KINGMARIO's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw my girlfriend going into my best friend's dorm room and suspected her to cheat on me so I placed a camera in his room to spy on them. In the end, I discovered that my girlfriend has problems in math and both my best friend and brother are gay. FML

#4379475
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14969) - you deserved it (69916)

On 08/08/2009 at 3:18am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, it was my mom's birthday, I planned to wish her a happy birthday as she woke up. I opened the door to her room only to see my dad dancing around in an American flag thong. Grimacing in pain I closed the door right away. Not only am I forever disturbed, but now my dad is asking me how he looks naked. FML

#4371069
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39200) - you deserved it (6161)

On 08/07/2009 at 9:34pm - misc - by scarredforlife (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I took a shower in a beachhouse we're renting for the week. Once I get out, I realize the house doesn't supply towels, my entire family was outside in the front yard, my cell phone was upstairs, and there are no blinds. I stood under a ceiling fan naked for 20 minutes trying to dry off. FML

#4366169
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27155) - you deserved it (10777)

On 08/07/2009 at 5:31pm - misc - by helplesssssss (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was watching a movie with my new boyfriend. I got tired so I thought it would be cute to fall asleep on him. He woke me up and said "You got me wet" Thinking it was a joke, I said smoothly, "That's what she said" He replied "No really." I looked down, I'd drooled all over his shirt. FML

#4320217
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15255) - you deserved it (35073)

On 08/05/2009 at 10:23pm - misc - by drooler (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was sitting on the bus next to a hot guy who was texting. I sneaked a peak at his phone to see if he was texting a girl so I could know if he was single. As I looked at his screen, he turned it towards me and typed in caps "STOP BEING A CREEPER." He got out of his seat and off the bus. FML

#4305194
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7023) - you deserved it (74603)

On 08/05/2009 at 9:37am - love - by TextLoser (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was eating dinner with my family. My parents didn't want me to hear what they were talking about so they decided they would spell out the words so I wouldn't understand. I didn't. FML

#4299271
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11628) - you deserved it (50499)

On 08/05/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was on my couch when my landlord walked in. He asked what I was doing there. I responded with the same question. Apparently my roommate forgot to call me and tell me that our lease ended three days ago. I am now standing in the parking lot with all my belongings, and it is raining. FML

#4288401
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46161) - you deserved it (6051)

On 08/04/2009 at 6:12pm - misc - by bigryngf (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that I was held back in preschool because of some developmental issues. My parents didn't think it was important enough to mention it to me. Why hadn't I figured it out? They also lied to me about how old I was. FML

#4247689
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63466) - you deserved it (3639)

On 08/03/2009 at 2:31am - misc - by dumb (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I decided to visit my girlfriend who lives 20 hours away. Four Red Bulls: $11.50. Gas: $200. Driving halfway across the country to find your girlfriend in bed with another guy? FML

Today, I was working in my store. Right around closing, a lady came in to try some things on. I went to the back and when I came out, she was standing in the middle of the room with fluid coming from between her legs. I asked her if she was going into labor. She wasn't. She was peeing. FML

#4238671
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49223) - you deserved it (2050)

On 08/02/2009 at 8:59pm - misc - by amburrr (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I missed my flight. Why? My niece thought it would be funny to empty out my suitcase and hide inside. FML

#4226931
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47392) - you deserved it (3177)

On 08/02/2009 at 9:09am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Korea Republic of (Inch'on-jikhalsi)

Today, it's my first wedding anniversary, or Paper anniversary. I got him airline tickets for an expensive weekend break for two in Berlin. He got me a toilet roll. FML

#4175008
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37810) - you deserved it (4188)

On 07/31/2009 at 3:03am - love - by Andrexwife (woman) - United Kingdom (St. Helens)

Today, I told my therapist that I suspected my partner was unfaithful, but I don't think he believed me. "What, did you find a membership card to a sex club in his wallet or something?" he asked. When I got home, I looked in my partner's wallet. I found a membership card to a sex club. FML

#4158714
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43704) - you deserved it (3824)

On 07/30/2009 at 11:21am - intimacy - by thesockmancometh (man) - United States (Texas) - moderated by the Jackass crew



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: