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KINGMARIO

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KINGMARIO
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 4123
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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KINGMARIO's favorite FMLs

Today, I received a text from my girlfriend to break up with me. I was upset. One minute later another text from her said "sorry, wrong person." FML

#4618484
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56551) - you deserved it (2870)

On 08/18/2009 at 1:06am - misc - by Anonymous - Kazakhstan (Almaty)

Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML

#4572721
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55098) - you deserved it (9618)

On 08/16/2009 at 1:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I got a paper cut while opening my box of Band-Aids. FML

#4566458
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46613) - you deserved it (8363)

On 08/16/2009 at 3:05am - health - by irony (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I fractured my knuckle at the gym. My girlfriend offered to drive me to Urgent Care. As I threw my gym bag in the car, my keys flew out of the bag's pocket and hit her in the face. I spent the whole afternoon getting dirty looks from nurses because of my broken hand and her black eye. FML

#4523157
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54467) - you deserved it (4485)

On 08/14/2009 at 10:26am - love - by Anon (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I finally got the courage to approach a girl. I've never done anything like this before. She stared me down, not saying a word, until I felt so little that I just walked away. FML

#4506987
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39826) - you deserved it (7778)

On 08/13/2009 at 6:30pm - love - by Mark (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while teaching swim lessons, a boy was holding a noodle and claimed it was his fishing rod. Trying to be fun, I grabbed on and told him to "reel" me in. He then yells out 'YAY, I caught a whale!'. FML

Today, my boyfriend sent me a text saying to call him. When I did, it went straight to voicemail. It was a recording of him breaking up with me. He broke up with me over the phone, without even talking to me. FML

#4460774
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51536) - you deserved it (2701)

On 08/11/2009 at 10:05pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was late for a medical school seminar and test. An SUV flipped over on the highway right in front of me. I held pressure to gushing, lacerated artery until EMS arrived. He lived, but I might have to repeat the whole year because I missed a big test. The test? Emergency response medicine. FML

#4459199
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55656) - you deserved it (2158)

On 08/11/2009 at 8:58pm - work - by doctorchick (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was approached by the head cheerleader, and she asked for my number. I was so excited that I gave it to her without question. Then she smiled, and walked away. Too bad my girlfriend was right behind me when it happened. FML

#4443952
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6591) - you deserved it (92711)

On 08/11/2009 at 2:42am - misc - by A.L.Woody - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had a horrible breakup with my girlfriend of two years. Depressed, I changed my Facebook status to, "Hate me today, hate me tomorrow, hate me for all the things I didn't do for you." My ex commented, "Give me an orgasm?" Five of my friends, including my mom, liked this. FML

#4443925
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44760) - you deserved it (20349)

On 08/11/2009 at 2:40am - love - by JazzSpazz (man) - United States (California)

Today, my friend and I were arguing over whose boyfriend was better. Just as I was about to convince her, my boyfriend rang. Trying to start the perfect conversation, I put him on speaker phone and answered "Hey Tiger, I was just thinking about you". He broke up with me on speaker. FML

#4430564
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44006) - you deserved it (14003)

On 08/10/2009 at 4:18pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Peterborough)

Today, I told my friend how I liked this girl but was too scared to ask her out. He told me "Why? The worst she's going to do is say no." Building confidence I approached her and asked her on a date. Then she replied "Get away douchebag!" and kicked me in the nuts. FML

#4423387
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53360) - you deserved it (4236)

On 08/10/2009 at 5:20am - love - by Rejected (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I gathered both mine and my girlfriend's families secretly to a restaurant. I paid the restaurant to play romantic music, and paid for the best table available. As soon as we finished our meal, our families gathered around and I proposed. She laughed and said no way. FML

#4405336
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84254) - you deserved it (6089)

On 08/09/2009 at 9:48am - love - by gtrs750 (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I was having breakfast when my mom's boyfriend came and sat right across from me. He didn't try and hide the fact that he was staring at my chest and told me, "Wow, you're getting bigger." I glared at him. He winked at me. FML

#4382309
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58619) - you deserved it (3310)

On 08/08/2009 at 9:42am - misc - by oshitdonotwant (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, while in the shower, my roomates thought it would be really funny if they threw my cat in with me. The doctor who gave me the stitches also thought so. FML

#4380799
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43487) - you deserved it (2353)

On 08/08/2009 at 5:35am - animals - by N1ch0la1 (man) - South Africa (Western Cape)



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