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KFLouks

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KFLouks

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  • Number of visits : 282
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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KFLouks's favorite FMLs

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML

#19606194
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6560) - you deserved it (27465)

On 05/11/2012 at 5:33am - misc - by anamota89 (woman) - United States

Today, I was at a restaurant with my kids. I told my 13 year old about how the very first time she said she loved me. She was 2 and it was at this very restaurant. I told her the details and even started tearing up a little. She didn't even look up from her cell phone and said, "That's fab, ma." FML

#19603153
311 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26499) - you deserved it (7796)

On 05/10/2012 at 4:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I walked in on my new puppy peeing on the carpet. The trainer had told me to punish her when she's bad by shaking a metal can of pennies at her, since the noise scares dogs. I shook it at her, and she responded by having explosive diarrhea all over the carpet in fright. FML

#19578544
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17362) - you deserved it (29724)

On 05/05/2012 at 7:07pm - animals - by doggone - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while I was sneaking a boy out of my room at 2am, I ran into my mom sneaking a man into her room. FML

#19568801
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33686) - you deserved it (9961)

On 05/03/2012 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by dentistrygirl - United States

Today, I faked my age to win a colouring competition. I just turned 19. FML

#19557146
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7746) - you deserved it (24459)

On 05/01/2012 at 4:24am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out my boyfriend gave me a surprise birthday present: herpes. FML

#19556007
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37995) - you deserved it (6648)

On 04/30/2012 at 11:01pm - intimacy - by lowlife123 (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I found the best cure for constipation is having my brother scare the literal shit out of me, in Walmart. FML

#19532255
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21563) - you deserved it (2115)

On 04/26/2012 at 1:29pm - health - by crazyk2468 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was so lonely that I had a conversation with myself on my way home. It was only when I reached my apartment complex that I discovered that my neighbour had been walking behind me, laughing to himself the whole way. FML

#19525636
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18144) - you deserved it (9262)

On 04/25/2012 at 12:50am - misc - by unfortunate (woman) - Sweden

Today, I was watching a boys volleyball team warming up, and I had my eye on one of them who was quite attractive. He sent the ball a little too far and it hit me in the face. He apologized, and I then for some reason replied with, "It's fine, I like balls in my face." FML

#19475030
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19164) - you deserved it (36711)

On 04/15/2012 at 9:13pm - intimacy - by lifeonfire12 (woman) - Canada

Today, while running in the park, I noticed some ducks in a pond. I stopped to look at them and began quacking at them, to see if they would react. This would have been OK had I not been wearing ear-buds, blasting music, making me unable to realize just how loud I was quacking. With people all around. FML

#19449312
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7577) - you deserved it (31883)

On 04/11/2012 at 11:39am - animals - by Quackers (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was at the grocery store, waiting in line to pay. A man jumped me from behind, and my first reflex was to brutally elbow him in the face. I soon discovered my attacker was one of the patients at the disability house at which I work, and he was trying to hug me. FML

#19443531
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28035) - you deserved it (6398)

On 04/10/2012 at 3:26pm - work - by rescuetheduck (woman) - Finland (Eastern Finland)

Today, my parents told me that I will grow up to be a criminal, living on the streets, on drugs. All this because I took the last chocolate egg. FML

#19443098
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26987) - you deserved it (4933)

On 04/10/2012 at 1:47pm - misc - by uhhh what? - United States (Washington)

Today, I was sitting in my car outside my apartment complex when a man came around the corner holding something shiny, and I thought was a gun. Thinking I was about to get robbed at gun point, I bugged out and threw up. It was a silver watering can. He asked if I was okay. FML

#19440828
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15099) - you deserved it (10763)

On 04/10/2012 at 12:35am - health - by logkitty - United States (California)

Today, my mother made me see the doctor to see if I had irritable bowel syndrome, on the account of how often I go to the restroom. I then had to admit I only go in there to get away from my family. My doctor thought it was hilarious. My mom didn't. FML

#19440053
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23870) - you deserved it (2792)

On 04/09/2012 at 10:51pm - health - by emoflowers - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom was in the kitchen when her shirt caught on fire. Acting quickly, I poured my glass of water on her. Instead of thanking me, she yelled at me for making a mess. FML

#19435373
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25785) - you deserved it (1947)

On 04/09/2012 at 8:23am - misc - by zazzleface - United States (New Jersey)



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