KBurns207

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KBurns207

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 3 August 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3949
  • Number of comments : 156
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About KBurns207 : I'm a pizza delivery driver. I produce music in my free time. I'm the one holding the camera in my photo. It was taken at Versailles in France and it was bright as hell out. My dreams are to one day be a respected producer and I take online production classes when I can. I love music, dirtbikes, and laughing. I'm an extremely honest person (Some might even say blunt). I've got a very rare disease called Recurrent Respiratory Papillomatosis and have had 40+ surgeries to remove tumors since the age of 15. I have an amazing girlfriend who's with me every step of the way. The experience has changed my outlook on life significantly. Live life to the fullest. You may not have as much time as you think.

KBurns207's page activity

Visits<b>figcurzyez</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 10:27am<b>odod777</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 11:42am<b>Cbjhockeyfan</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 3:18pm<b>RandomJam124</b> - the 10/17/2015 at 4:01pm<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 10/17/2015 at 3:59pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 12:46am<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 4:53pm<b>Stripes12345</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 8:52pm<b>sanuxo_</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 5:37pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 4:26pm<b>nina0917</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 12:18am<b>RipeFlame</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 10:43pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 11/26/2014 at 8:06pm<b>WannabeeWinnee</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 2:18am<b>unlucky_lucy</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 3:02pm<b>tiguur</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 6:29pm<b>phamdrake</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 1:44pm<b>farleytb42</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 8:42am

Fucked!<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 6:46am

KBurns207's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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KBurns207's favorite FMLs

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

by konens_dick / 03/22/2009 at 6:38am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I slept over at my friend's house but forgot my glasses. When I woke up in the morning, I came out of his room and forcefully kicked what I thought was a soccer ball on the floor. Turns out it was his miniature poodle - it fell down a long flight of stairs. FML

by JohnMackSquirts / 03/19/2009 at 1:15am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I came back from a hike to see my trailer rocking, as well as some strange but obvious noises coming from it. I went camping alone. Two strangers were in my camper having sex. FML

by Noname / 03/14/2009 at 1:08am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, at the dinner table my parents were talking to my younger sister about her new boyfriend and how they should be taking it slow. My sister then pointed out that that's not what I do. My dad said, "Believe me I know- your sister's easier to get into than community college." FML

by Noname / 03/13/2009 at 4:54pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom was helping me clean out stuff from college. She opened a box and took out some anal beads I got as a gag gift. She asked, "What are these?" I answered, "They are for massaging your back". She then insisted I show her. I massaged my mother with anal beads. FML

by DanniRae / 03/13/2009 at 9:48am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML

by Noname / 03/05/2009 at 2:44pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I was at a fraternity party, and one of the hosts said over the loudspeaker "turn to the person next to you and picture them naked, then drink a beer if the mental image disturbs you". I turned, only to be face-to-face with my ex-boyfriend. He drank two beers. FML

by Noname / 02/15/2009 at 3:28pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Love

Today, I went to a movie with my boyfriend. In the lobby, I asked why the glasses were not working. I said, "Do they only work inside the theater?" My boyfriend replied, "3-D glasses just work inside the movie, everything else in the World is pretty much 3-D." FML

by Noname / 02/12/2009 at 1:00am / United States (Oregon) / Geek

Today, I walked in on my porn addicted roommate watching a gynecologist exam online. He asked me to watch it with him. FML

by Escape! / 02/03/2009 at 4:38pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I spent $400 at the stripclub and got 4 phone numbers. I as walked out of the club, I noticed it was trans-night. FML

by bluntedone / 02/02/2009 at 11:42pm / United States (Arizona) / Money

Today, in class, I asked my teacher for a "rubber". I didn't realise that in America "rubber" doesn't mean "eraser", it means condom. FML

by TheEnglishOne / 01/22/2009 at 7:42pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I went to work only to serve one table, make a $9.00 tip, get sent home because it was slow, have the city busses stop running because of weather, and have to pay a $20 cab fare to get home. FML

by ren / 01/13/2009 at 3:54pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, I was performing the classic 69 position with my girlfriend. I wasn't able to control it : I farted right into her nose. FML

by USSEYL / 11/25/2008 at 11:43pm / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Intimacy

Today, when I woke up, my husband was already up. Thinking I hear him in the hall I shout out "come on, don't be shy, bring that cock in here right now!". A voice replies: "he's gone out to get some bread". It was my mother-in-law. FML

by Tinker-Bell / 11/20/2008 at 10:41pm / Intimacy