KBear3109

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KBear3109

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Friday 24 November 1989 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6084
  • Number of comments : 138
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 37 posted

About KBear3109 : My name is Kelli and I'm a 25 year old stay at home mom/housewife. I have 2 little girls that are 3 1/2 years old and 2 1/2 years old. I like reading, watching Netflix, and doing crochet and knitting.

KBear3109's page activity

Visits<b>cacheson</b> - the 06/16/2016 at 7:25am<b>euys</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 4:43pm<b>LizG</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 3:57pm<b>patwo8</b> - the 04/05/2016 at 2:54am<b>sosaman</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 8:58pm<b>ArTic_CRIMSoN</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 10:26pm<b>QueenBii</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 12:24am<b>Muthaschlucker</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 9:56pm<b>jordanwilbanks</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 10:25am<b>asslover061981</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 9:39am<b>cohofourtyfour</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 7:22am<b>Jake42100</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 12:56pm<b>mrchachie</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 12:49am<b>salmanch</b> - the 02/12/2016 at 4:22pm<b>habfan1970</b> - the 02/12/2016 at 4:46am<b>samp_squad_23</b> - the 02/12/2016 at 3:42am<b>savwalker</b> - the 02/12/2016 at 12:43am<b>rolso</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 10:57pm

KBear3109's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of KBear3109's badges

KBear3109's favorite FMLs

Today, while bussing at my restaurant job, I felt a cold, wet animal slither down my leg. I started shrieking loudly and dancing dementedly to get it off, and everyone in the restaurant turned to stare. Then I realized there was a hole in my pocket and some quarters had slid out down my leg. FML

by Anonymous / 07/23/2012 at 11:41am / United States (North Carolina) / Work

Today, I checked the app I had used during the night. It's supposed to record you while you sleep if you make any noise, and I had downloaded because my friends say I snore. The only noise it picked up was my parents having sex. FML

by Anonymous / 07/23/2012 at 4:08am / United States (Wyoming) / Intimacy

Today, after having taken hormone tablets to try to increase my cup size, I realized that I've basically reversed my menopause. FML

by Anonymous / 07/22/2012 at 3:25pm / United States (Missouri) / Health

Today, I got into a debate with my boyfriend over whether or not oral sex was considered sex. I stood firm that it was not. Apparently, he took this as permission, as later that night I walked in on him not having sex with my sister. FML

by oops / 07/15/2012 at 1:34am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my dad was making coffee for the family. Half-way through, he excused himself to the bathroom, so for a laugh, I discreetly poured a load of salt into his drink. When he served us, I drank a mouthful and doubled over hacking. My dad barked, "I wasn't born yesterday, son." FML

by Anonymous / 07/14/2012 at 4:10pm / Nigeria (Lagos) / Miscellaneous

Today, an old guy approached me and asked if I had ever seen an elephant with white ears. I shook my head. He then pulled the pockets out of his shorts and whipped out his sex nose. FML

by Anonymous / 07/12/2012 at 2:40am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I went to my girlfriend's house and caught her digging for gold. She wasn't picking her nose - she was literally trying to dig for gold in her backyard. FML

by anidiotskeeper / 07/12/2012 at 2:03am / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I tried to trim my dog's nails. After about a half hour of barking, biting, and general freaking out, I gave up and decided to pay someone else to do it. I'm a vet, and do this for a living. FML

by cutup / 07/11/2012 at 1:54pm / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, I heard a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I discovered my husband, naked and with his pants around his ankles, standing in the bathtub and pointing at a cockroach on the ground. After disposing of the body, I had to stay and comfort him while he wiped his ass. FML

by I_Has_A_Fishy / 07/10/2012 at 3:33pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sitting the living room, when my mom commented on the smell of garlic in the air. After ten minutes of searching for the source, she gave up. I was too embarrassed to admit that I'd tried using garlic to cure my yeast infection. FML

by yeastly / 07/09/2012 at 3:54pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, I spoke to my hormonal pregnant wife about baby names. I told her I liked the name "Tabitha", and she went into a full rage about how all letters have textures, colours and emotions and how T is an evil letter. Apparently it's orange, plastic, and a needle trying to stab her eyes out. FML

by LNamesOnly / 07/09/2012 at 3:31am / Australia / Kids

Today, I found out that I'm allergic to bacon. FML

by Dammit / 07/07/2012 at 12:45am / United States (California) / Health

Today, when I went to pay for my groceries, I accidentally handed the cashier a condom instead of my $20. FML

by totallyembarassed / 07/07/2012 at 12:08am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking in Walmart with my dad. We walked past the deodorant aisle. My dad said, "Need any deodorant?" I said, "No thanks." He replied, "That was a hint." FML

by CanadianTwin / 07/06/2012 at 2:52am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that the only reason my boyfriend got a job was so that he could buy weed. FML

by hopeless / 07/06/2012 at 1:46am / United States / Miscellaneous