KBear3109

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KBear3109

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Friday 24 November 1989 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6009
  • Number of comments : 136
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 37 posted

About KBear3109 : My name is Kelli and I'm a 25 year old stay at home mom/housewife. I have 2 little girls that are 3 1/2 years old and 2 1/2 years old. I like reading, watching Netflix, and doing crochet and knitting.

KBear3109's page activity

Visits<b>euys</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 4:43pm<b>LizG</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 3:57pm<b>patwo8</b> - the 04/05/2016 at 2:54am<b>sosaman</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 8:58pm<b>ArTic_CRIMSoN</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 10:26pm<b>QueenBii</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 12:24am<b>Muthaschlucker</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 9:56pm<b>jordanwilbanks</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 10:25am<b>asslover061981</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 9:39am<b>cohofourtyfour</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 7:22am<b>Jake42100</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 12:56pm<b>mrchachie</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 12:49am<b>salmanch</b> - the 02/12/2016 at 4:22pm<b>habfan1970</b> - the 02/12/2016 at 4:46am<b>samp_squad_23</b> - the 02/12/2016 at 3:42am<b>savwalker</b> - the 02/12/2016 at 12:43am<b>rolso</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 10:57pm<b>YoungOtaku</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 6:16pm

KBear3109's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of KBear3109's badges

KBear3109's favorite FMLs

Today, I discovered a way to send a massive number of text messages to someone simultaneously, so I decided to do it to my friend as a prank. I quickly noticed that I forgot to disable the delivery notification feature. FML

by Jugan / 10/19/2012 at 5:44pm / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Miscellaneous

Today, while making love to my wife, I felt adventurous and told her to hit me. She didn't so much as hesitate before savagely slapping me with her ring hand. Now I'm back home from the hospital, with stitches closing up a huge gash on my cheek. FML

by Anonymous / 10/19/2012 at 4:54pm / Czech Republic (Jihomoravsky kraj) / Intimacy

Today, I wore a dress that I bought last weekend to work, thinking how I liked it and it fitted me perfectly, until someone at work told me that I was actually wearing a nightie. FML

Today, my book bag was so heavy that it set off my car's passenger detection system in the front seat. I had to buckle in my textbooks. FML

by Anonymous / 09/12/2012 at 12:05pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I was playing with my vibrator. I was getting close when all of a sudden it short-circuited and made a sound like a laughing clown, scaring me half to death. FML

by Geckosrock99 / 08/30/2012 at 10:45pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had to explain to my teacher that Czechoslovakia is no longer a country. She kicked me out of class when she found out I was right. FML

by Anonymous / 08/30/2012 at 2:33pm / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous

Today, while getting pretty intimate with my newlywed wife in the car, a cop turned his lights on. As he was walking up, I was trying to get my pants back on but they wouldn't fit over my knees. The cop just laughed and walked away. Turns out my wife had my pants on and I was trying to put hers on. FML

by Anonymous / 08/29/2012 at 5:37pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I met a girl I used to make fun of in high school. She was taking my fingerprints after I was arrested. FML

by TheBeautifulOne / 08/23/2012 at 9:42am / United Kingdom (South Ayrshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was digging in my lawn, trying to ignore the suspicious glances coming from my nosy fuckball of a neighbor. When he asked what I was doing, I replied with dripping sarcasm, that I was digging up the schoolkids I killed last year. Fifteen minutes later, the cops he called arrived. FML

by diggingaplotforone / 08/11/2012 at 7:47pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I visited my mother's new apartment, and found a picture of yours truly hanging above her toilet, and I asked why it was there. She shrugged and said, "Because the thought of you makes me want to take a shit?" FML

by Alisha / 08/07/2012 at 2:04pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom thought I was flying high on weed and nearly grounded me for it. I wasn't high, I was just actually in a good mood for the first time in a few weeks. FML

by HappyMan / 08/02/2012 at 10:14pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend opened my refrigerator and began her standard moan: "You're a pig, you never clean up. Look at that egg, it makes me want to throw up, it's gone black, it’s covered in fuzz, IT'S GOT HAIR ON IT!" I got up to check it out. It was a Kiwi fruit. FML

by opinaise / 08/02/2012 at 9:00am / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Love

Today, I started my new job, and was introduced to my colleague. She seemed old and quite experienced, so I thought she was going to teach me. I was wrong. It turns out I'm a replacement for her daughter, who used to secretly do all of her work for her because she has no idea how to do it herself. FML

by Frustation / 07/30/2012 at 9:00am / United States / Work

Today, I went to a corner store to re-stock my chocolate stash. A guy from work walked in to see me and the cashier arguing about the amount of candy I was trying to buy with a jar of pennies. He took one look at me and said, "That time of the month, eh?" FML

by fmlgrl / 07/30/2012 at 2:59am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, due to my boyfriend teasing me about me possibly having been conceived on a beach because I was born in Hawaii, I finally asked my mom if I really was. She said no, but then told me in detail how much sex on a beach hurts when you get sand up your ass. FML

by skyplaysguitar / 07/30/2012 at 1:56am / United States (New Mexico) / Intimacy