Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

KBear3109

Offline (the 09/05/2014 at 8:40pm) | Search for a member

KBear3109

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Friday 24 November 1989 (24 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3310
  • Number of comments : 123
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 28 posted

About KBear3109 : My name is Kelli and I'm a 23 year old stay at home mom/housewife. I have 2 little girls that are 23 months old and 11 months old. I like reading and watching movies. I love spending time with my babies, they're my whole world. The picture is of my husband and my 2 girls.

KBear3109's page activity

Visits<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 11:17am<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 2:59am<b>NotAUser</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 4:56pm<b>Skylae</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 10:08am<b>xDochx</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 1:59am<b>Trollx</b> - the 12/13/2013 at 4:13pm<b>Ribena195</b> - the 10/21/2013 at 1:29pm<b>Dallasluver19</b> - the 08/02/2013 at 11:29pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 04/24/2013 at 2:00pm<b>BlingBang</b> - the 04/18/2013 at 7:19pm<b>marcranger</b> - the 04/18/2013 at 1:31am<b>NashyzzleTheN</b> - the 04/04/2013 at 1:17am<b>Llamacod</b> - the 01/20/2013 at 10:47pm<b>Elle_ShellBelle</b> - the 01/20/2013 at 9:22pm<b>un1corns</b> - the 12/30/2012 at 9:44pm<b>Cristinaxoxo</b> - the 10/12/2012 at 2:20pm<b>Futacy</b> - the 10/08/2012 at 4:17pm<b>neverdrinkSODA</b> - the 09/15/2012 at 11:54pm

KBear3109's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

See all of KBear3109's badges

KBear3109's favorite FMLs

Today, my high-strung and normally very proper mother took twice her prescribed dose of Ambien, and extolled the virtues of a "full blown sexual relationship with oneself", advising my teenage sister to "only include the men when they behave." FML

#20511803
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30103) - you deserved it (2856)

On 02/18/2013 at 3:24am - intimacy - by buxton1 - United States (California)

Today, I walked into my mother's house to find that she had knitted clothes for some of the household appliances. The toaster was wearing a dress. FML

#20457945
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28771) - you deserved it (3155)

On 01/13/2013 at 10:00pm - misc - by anon - United States (Ohio)

Today, while at school, a bra fell out of my coat. After the initial shock, people started congratulating me on finally getting a girlfriend. I didn't have the heart to tell them it was my mom's. FML

#20175088
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23297) - you deserved it (3245)

On 11/23/2012 at 10:56am - misc - by Tymer (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my cat was too overweight to get out of the litter box, so he gave up, and went to sleep. I had to pick him up out of his own waste and clean him up. FML

#20175044
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11488) - you deserved it (23873)

On 11/23/2012 at 10:10am - animals - by Jeanna S. - United States

Today, I saw my cat playing with one of his many toy mice. Knowing he likes to play fetch, I picked it up and threw it across the room. Upon trying to pick it up a second time, I realized that not only was it not a toy, but it was only half-dead. FML

#20174725
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22743) - you deserved it (3139)

On 11/23/2012 at 1:17am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I've been on duty at the hospital for just three hours so far, and I've already pulled five carving forks out of four different people. Good job, everybody. FML

#20174027
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22378) - you deserved it (1523)

On 11/22/2012 at 4:03pm - work - by DocFUCKINGHATESSTUPIDPEOPLE (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my brother decided to join me on my first date. Not only did he answer the door with a bat, he also got inside the car and sat next to my date, pushing me to the back. He stayed the entire time, and walked me back to the house. My mom laughed and gave him $20. It was a dare. FML

Today, I was told that my insurance will no longer cover my birth control as it's deemed "unnecessary" for a man, which, according to them, I've been since August. I'm definitely still a woman. FML

Today, the bar owner I work for told us to pay better attention to our drunk patrons, and to start cutting them off. A fellow bar maid asked how we are supposed to tell when it's time. He pointed at me and said, "When they start hitting on her, they're too drunk to drive." FML

#20141378
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26784) - you deserved it (1896)

On 10/31/2012 at 7:30am - work - by kat (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to the hospital in labor expecting a baby boy. I ended the day with identical twins, a baffled doctor, and a husband convinced that our sons can clone themselves. FML

#20139353
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25675) - you deserved it (2381)

On 10/29/2012 at 9:30pm - kids - by CutestBoysEver (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend and I were preparing for the arrival of Hurricane Sandy. I tasked him with going out to buy emergency groceries in case we lose power. He returned with dozens of microwave cup noodles. We're going to starve. FML

#20137235
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23725) - you deserved it (3397)

On 10/28/2012 at 4:14pm - love - by cupnoodles (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML

#20128322
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29748) - you deserved it (4521)

On 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm - kids - by thebeachisthatway (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I tried to do my leaf collection project for biology, which ended with me being hospitalized because of an allergy attack. I have no idea what I'm allergic to, but my doctor says I should just assume I'm "allergic to all leaves, ever." FML

#20126324
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20566) - you deserved it (1295)

On 10/21/2012 at 6:31am - health - by leaftheerickson (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I discovered a way to send a massive number of text messages to someone simultaneously, so I decided to do it to my friend as a prank. I quickly noticed that I forgot to disable the delivery notification feature. FML

#20124484
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4252) - you deserved it (34103) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/19/2012 at 5:44pm - misc - by Jugan - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, while making love to my wife, I felt adventurous and told her to hit me. She didn't so much as hesitate before savagely slapping me with her ring hand. Now I'm back home from the hospital, with stitches closing up a huge gash on my cheek. FML

#20124147
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12681) - you deserved it (27760)

On 10/19/2012 at 4:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Czech Republic (Jihomoravsky kraj)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: