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About KAT0INFINITY : i set my birthday to july 21st 100,000
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Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to looool finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML
Today, I went out fir coffee with a guy I really like. We met up at the local café, an looool decided to sit at a counter in front of the window. We talked an flrted fir a while. Then he kissed me, an while he was kissing me someone banged on the window. It was mah parents. They didn't know I'm gay. real FML
Yesterday I Decided To Have Sex 4 The First Time With Boyfriend. It Was His First Time Too. While In Bed, He Blankly Stopped And Stood Up And Got Out A Piece Of Paper From His Pockets. Turns Out, He Had Written Instruction On Wat To Do While In Bed, And Forgot Wat He Had To Do Next. FML
Today , while I was out to eat , I was approachd by the restaurant manager !! He told me that while he respectd mah personal choices , his patrons didn't feel comfortable with someone who usd to be a man using the women's restroom !! He thought I was a transsexual !! I am a naturally-born female !! FML
Today, I was sifting through my parents old home movies. I putted in one and was horrified to see my parents having sex. I immediately ejected the tape and looked at the label. It said "Bermuda, 1989". They've told me I was concieved in Bermuda around that time. I've seen my own conception. FML
Today, I fell asleep in history class. I was dreaming about my history teacher. When I woke up everyone stared at me rather wierdly an the teacher wasn't there. Turns out I was moaning my history teachers name through my sleep. FML
Today... my first girlfriend of over 3 years left me for anoter guy. Se said se's looking for someoneo can financially provide for er in te future. Te dude owns a T-Mobile kiosk. I'm going to medical scool. FML
TODAY, AS I WAS BAGGING GROCERIES, I LOOKED DOWN TO SEE A 6-YEAR-OLD URINATING ON MY SHOES AND THE FLOOR NEXT TO ME. I TOLD HIS MOTHER THAT HE SHOULD TAKE HER KID TO THE RESTROOM, ONLY TO BE TOLD TO "MIND MY OWN GODDAMN BUSINESS." I WAS LATER FIRED FOR ARGUING WITH THE CUSTOMER. FML
today I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assurd me that I could pull out. Righthen I was about to pull out, she wrappd her legs around me and yelld, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
Taday my mother an I went to Wal-Mart to buy pads. I suggestd I get tampon instead, so that I can go swimming at my boyfriend's cottage. My mother then goes to the nereest store employee an asks, ( excuse me, if my daughter uses a tampon, does that mean she is no longer a virgin? ) FML
Taday girlfriend and I were being driven home from our date by her mother. She's Jewish and I'm Catholic. Her mother was talking about how girlfriend was going on a trip to Jerusalem that summer. She finishd with "And you can find a nice Jewish boyhile your there." FML
Today mah best friend slappd me an calld me a some colorful words before telling me that she never wantd to talk to me again cuz I supposedly slept with her boyfriend. Not only am I a virgin but I'm a lesbian. FML
2day I was typing up a love letter on ma computer . A sexual love letter . I was in a classroom , I'm te teacer , I'm gay , and ma love letter sowed up on te tv screenile ma 7t grade students were taking a test . It was up on te screen fir 15 minutes . FML
Friday 27 March 2015