About KAT0INFINITY : i set my birthday to july 21st 100,000
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KAT0INFINITY's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 10/04/2013 at 7:36pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I was at Petsmart with my puppy. Someone tried to pet him. I tried to warn the guy that he is a rescue and doesn't trust easily. He didn't listen and now wants to sue me for a dog bite that didn't even break the skin. FML
by Anonymous / 10/03/2013 at 8:16pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend got mad at me because I slept on the couch last night. She also seems to have forgotten that we had an argument last night, after which she stormed into our bedroom and locked me out. FML
by Couch Potato / 10/02/2013 at 7:16pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, and for the fifth week in a row, my dad has been moping around and acting pissy about everything because his psycho girlfriend won't talk to him. He now claims his life is over. I'm being raised by a teenage girl. FML
by SuperFail55 / 10/01/2013 at 8:33pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids
Today, my mom blew her top when I casually mentioned that it's pretty well known that the story of Jesus is a retelling of older Persian and Egyptian stories. She then went on to yell at me that I wasted my money on college and "book learning". FML
by Anonymous / 10/01/2013 at 7:36pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
Today, the mother of one of my students bitched me out about her son's poor grades. He lazes around all day, paying no attention and being a constant nuisance. But, she says it's not his fault, and demands that I give him better grades so he won't get "self-esteem" issues. FML
by mykhael / 08/21/2013 at 2:58pm / United States (Louisiana) / Animals
Today, I went to see a therapist for help with my severe fear of spiders. The therapist held a big spider in a box inches away from my face. I ran to the back of the room and asked him why. He responded with, "Aren't therapists supposed to help you face your fears?" I'm paying $150 an hour. FML
by no that does not help / 08/20/2013 at 9:41am / United States (Texas) / Health
by Anonymous / 08/18/2013 at 11:56pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
Today, I fell asleep on the beach while tanning. I was woken up by the flock of seagulls eating the bread from my stomach. Why was bread on my stomach? Because my little brother knows birds are my biggest fear. FML
by Nanana32 / 08/14/2013 at 4:28pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Animals
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he just kept saying stuff like "uh-huh," "not too bad," and "yup" in a complete monotone. It was probably the most uncomfortable experience of my life. FML
by awkward / 07/26/2013 at 2:00pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Eisenhorn / 07/20/2013 at 1:47am / United States / Work
by Anonymous / 07/13/2013 at 5:39pm / United States (California) / Love
by BlueB / 07/06/2013 at 11:42am / United States / Miscellaneous
by SpiderFather / 07/02/2013 at 4:01am / France / Kids
- Today, I made heart shaped cookies for my girlfriend. My mom's reaction? "They look like dicks." FML Today, I delivered a pizza to a former coworker. He answered the door with his pants below his ass… Today, I was giving my guy a blowjob. When he blurted out, "Oh Jesus" I assumed I was doing a good…