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JxTxSimmons's FML badges
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
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JxTxSimmons's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 09/05/2011 at 8:05am / Reserved / Miscellaneous
by wtf / 06/09/2011 at 11:04am / United Kingdom (Edinburgh) / Health
by bouda / 05/15/2011 at 2:19pm / France (Centre) / Animals
Today, my boyfriend called me as I was getting ready for bed and asked me to pick him up from the bar. Being a loving girlfriend I drive the 45 minutes; when I get there his friend informs me he left about 45 minutes ago. FML
by Anonymous / 05/01/2011 at 1:36am / Reserved / Love
by Natalie / 04/01/2011 at 2:16pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend and I ordered pizza and watched a movie. After dinner we started to make out. I began to take my clothes off when he stopped me. He said that sex is exercise and you can't exercise for 30 minutes after eating. FML
by oumalina / 08/11/2010 at 9:54pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by silvercity09 / 05/25/2009 at 11:04pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
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- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…