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JxTxSimmons

Offline (the 08/15/2014 at 4:09am) | Search for a member

JxTxSimmons

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  • Number of visits : 71
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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JxTxSimmons's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

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It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

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JxTxSimmons's favorite FMLs

Today, I caught my husband farting on my wind-chime in an attempt to make it ring. It did. FML

#17668852
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28013) - you deserved it (4233)

On 09/05/2011 at 8:05am - misc - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, I shat out a staple. FML

#16576766
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37461) - you deserved it (16307)

On 06/09/2011 at 11:04am - health - by wtf - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)

Today, I killed a pigeon. It choked to death on a piece of bread I threw its way. FML

#16188674
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35440) - you deserved it (6621) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/15/2011 at 2:19pm - misc - by bouda - France (Centre)

Today, my boyfriend called me as I was getting ready for bed and asked me to pick him up from the bar. Being a loving girlfriend I drive the 45 minutes; when I get there his friend informs me he left about 45 minutes ago. FML

#15999474
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31811) - you deserved it (4704)

On 05/01/2011 at 1:36am - love - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, I was out enjoying my daily jog, when out of nowhere, a group of kids in a passing car pelted me with ketchup-filled water balloons. FML

#15589666
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40584) - you deserved it (3873)

On 04/01/2011 at 2:16pm - misc - by Natalie - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I ordered pizza and watched a movie. After dinner we started to make out. I began to take my clothes off when he stopped me. He said that sex is exercise and you can't exercise for 30 minutes after eating. FML

#12463694
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34920) - you deserved it (7706)

On 08/11/2010 at 9:54pm - intimacy - by oumalina (woman) - United States (California)

Today, was my sister's and dad's birthday. I accidentally mixed up the gifts I got for them and my dad ended up with a vibrator. He wasn't very happy. FML

#2295349
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15899) - you deserved it (58271)

On 05/25/2009 at 11:04pm - misc - by silvercity09 (woman) - Canada (Quebec)



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