Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Justyce

Search for a member

Justyce

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2724
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Justyce's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Justyce's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. He went outside for a "breather" and never came back. FML

#12300042
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50897) - you deserved it (8391)

On 08/04/2010 at 12:20am - love - by Alisha Marie - United States (New York)

Today, my family and I watched Madagascar 2. When we got to the part where Gloria the hippopotamus is praised for her chunkyness, my little sister looked at me and said, "If you were a hippo, maybe then you would get a date." FML

#12293464
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31590) - you deserved it (6808)

On 08/03/2010 at 6:37pm - misc - by fatty - United States (New York)

Today, my wife of 2 years told me she was pregnant, after we've been trying for ages. Excited, about to call my parents, my wife then told me, "Don't get your hopes up it might not be yours, the father could be 5 other guys." And then asked me what I'd like for dinner. FML

#12277666
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53612) - you deserved it (4043)

On 08/03/2010 at 12:07am - intimacy - by Cheated (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while I was at work, I heard one of my employees laughing on the phone. I told him to shut up and get back to work. Turns out he was actually crying because his father had just died. FML

#12251529
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9473) - you deserved it (57069)

On 08/01/2010 at 8:34pm - work - by bloodymatzaball - United States

Today, I was at a red light when the guy next to me gave me that look people give when they want a street race. I won, but I should've seen the word "Sheriff" written on the side of his car. FML

#12247405
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8111) - you deserved it (73912)

On 08/01/2010 at 3:41pm - misc - by Our Talisman - Sent from mobile version

Today, while at work I tripped and fell in the pool while moving a waste basket. I nearly drowned and had to be saved. I don't know which is worse the fact that I nearly drowned or the fact that I'm a lifeguard. FML

#12236841
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25776) - you deserved it (11834)

On 08/01/2010 at 12:23am - work - by lifeguard down - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was woken up because the police were pounding on my door, and saying I am under arrest for stealing road signs. My friends went drinking last night and thought it would be funny to steal seven stop signs, four bus stop signs, and two children crossing signs then plant them on my front lawn. FML

#12120834
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37503) - you deserved it (4408)

On 07/26/2010 at 8:26am - misc - by Busted (man) - South Africa

Today, I was showing a house to a couple who were interested in buying. At least they "were" interested until they opened the blinds, looked out of the bedroom window and saw the neighbor on the toilet taking a dump. He was naked. He was hairy. He smiled and waved. FML

#12109391
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33027) - you deserved it (3073)

On 07/25/2010 at 8:07pm - work - by anon (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom found my pack of cigarettes. She's now making me go to rehab. I had only smoked one cigarette ever just to try it. I didn't even like it. FML

#12023644
316 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17203) - you deserved it (42119)

On 07/21/2010 at 12:08pm - misc - by Goody2shoes (man) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, while I was at my boyfriend's house, I got my period. About an hour after I tell him I just got my period, he impatiently says "Is it over yet?" FML

#11977098
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38766) - you deserved it (5627)

On 07/19/2010 at 2:38am - intimacy - by MandMandM (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend hacked my facebook account and set my status to say that I was in love with my boss. Seeing the post, my boss called me into his office, and told me he loved me too... FML

#11858705
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49879) - you deserved it (4165)

On 07/13/2010 at 8:02pm - work - by Camille (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I flew a toy airplane into my face. FML

#11848419
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10493) - you deserved it (36114)

On 07/13/2010 at 9:41am - health - by E or - United States (Oregon)

Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML

#11841759
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37373) - you deserved it (9680)

On 07/13/2010 at 12:34am - misc - by Betchsadface - United States

Today, I visited my family for spring break because I've been away at college and I haven't seen them since Christmas. Almost as soon as I walked in the door, my mom had me clean the living room area, clean up cat vomit, and do the dishes. Thanks guys... I missed you too. FML

#9047484
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22425) - you deserved it (2634)

On 03/13/2010 at 2:01pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went to IHOP for breakfast. As we were leaving, I realized a little girl took my Hello Kitty hairclip. For the next 5 minutes, I fought with an 8 year-old for a hairclip. She won. FML

#9043466
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10407) - you deserved it (24331)

On 03/13/2010 at 10:13am - misc - by googoogaga (woman) - United States (Illinois)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: