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JustDerpin

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JustDerpin

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6196
  • Number of comments : 170
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About JustDerpin : Hi, I'm a person

JustDerpin's page activity

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JustDerpin's favorite FMLs

Today, I was eating at a restaurant patio with a few friends. After the waitress cleaned up our table there was a drop of mayonnaise on the table. I wiped it with my finger and licked it. It wasn’t mayo, it was bird shit. FML

#1712833
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31794) - you deserved it (137538)

On 05/07/2009 at 7:36am - animals - by MJ3105 (man) - Israel

Today, in math class we were learning about gravity. To demonstrate my teacher asked me to stand on the desk and then step off. Upon stepping on the desk it curved inward and cracked. Everyone was dying of laughter. Fuck gravity. FML

#1547759
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67245) - you deserved it (9067)

On 05/02/2009 at 12:55am - misc - by systeminitiated (man) - Canada

Today, I was getting ready for bed, when I decided to watch some porno on the computer. Suddenly someone from my messenger list says, "You might want to turn off the 'What You're Listening To' option if you're watching porn." I snapped and exited the porn. 63 people saw. FML

#1292881
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18488) - you deserved it (71930)

On 04/24/2009 at 4:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I started my period. I am getting married tomorrow. So, not only am I going to be on my period for my wedding night and honeymoon, my best friend has to help me change my pad because my dress is so big. FML

#1292043
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73421) - you deserved it (8691)

On 04/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, was my birthday. My friends love to play pranks on me. So when I entered the door for my surprise party, I became aware of the surroundings. There was nothing. Everyone was staring as I slowly entered the room. When I closed the door behind me, a freaking bucket of pee fell all over me. FML

#1075596
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82805) - you deserved it (5007)

On 04/18/2009 at 12:44am - misc - by fmylifebadddd (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, was my birthday. My friends love to play pranks on me. So when I entered the door for my surprise party, I became aware of the surroundings. There was nothing. Everyone was staring as I slowly entered the room. When I closed the door behind me, a freaking bucket of pee fell all over me. FML

#1075596
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82805) - you deserved it (5007)

On 04/18/2009 at 12:44am - misc - by fmylifebadddd (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was about to get it on with a girl in the bathroom of my friend's house at a party. Just when things started getting heated, a pipe burst. Literally. There was water everywhere and everyone had to evacuate the building. I was cockblocked by poor plumbing. FML

#1048842
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67564) - you deserved it (11403)

On 04/17/2009 at 3:29am - intimacy - by RotoRooter (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my Dad called me to tell me that he had finally won the lottery and that I no longer had to worry about trying to find a way to pay for school. I was so excited I started crying. He then told me that he won $5 on a scratch off lotto ticket. He bought a sandwich. Funny dad. FML

#914206
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55902) - you deserved it (8460)

On 04/11/2009 at 12:13pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, we were at the end of our surfing trip watching a photo montage. A picture popped up of an ugly girl surfing so I shouted out "I didn't know Shrek could surf". The room went very quiet. "Shrek" was sitting beside me. FML

#850097
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13521) - you deserved it (158506)

On 04/07/2009 at 7:46am - misc - by Brastro (man) - Ireland (Kildare)

Today, my siblings came home for the weekend. At dinner, my dad started complaining at how one of my siblings had gotten fired, one was failing college, and the other was gay. He went on to say I was 17 and already had a bright future. I'm pregnant. FML

#792212
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45475) - you deserved it (53967)

On 04/03/2009 at 10:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was going to a stoplight party. Green shirt=single, yellow=hard to get and red=taken. I show up wearing a red shirt and I see my boyfriend in a green shirt. Thinking it was a mistake, I ask him jokingly why he isn't wearing red. He looks at me weird and says, "Oh, you didn't get my text?" FML

#642666
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (101539) - you deserved it (5209)

On 03/27/2009 at 12:47pm - misc - by 1234567898765432 - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I fell down a flight of stairs onto cement and had to get stitches in my knee. The class I was running to was Buddhist Philosophy where I was supposed to give a presentation on how we all need to slow down and stop rushing through life. FML

#407679
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21634) - you deserved it (57754)

On 03/17/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by Noname - United States (Washington)

Today, I sat next to an attractive punk/rock guy on a plane. I decided to try to impress by playing music I thought he would like. I clicked The Who and opened a large window with the album cover, so he could see. The track then shuffled, and he was face to with a giant image of Miley Cyrus. FML

#333328
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14853) - you deserved it (108132)

On 03/15/2009 at 12:22am - love - by UH-OH (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I sat next to an attractive punk/rock guy on a plane. I decided to try to impress by playing music I thought he would like. I clicked The Who and opened a large window with the album cover, so he could see. The track then shuffled, and he was face to with a giant image of Miley Cyrus. FML

#333328
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14853) - you deserved it (108132)

On 03/15/2009 at 12:22am - love - by UH-OH (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I gave myself a facial with one of those masks you leave on for a while. I busied myself by tidying my room while it dried and eventually forgot all about it. I finally remembered about it after I answered the door to the postman. Not embarassing enough? I'm a guy. FML

#318260
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25343) - you deserved it (60387)

On 03/14/2009 at 7:36am - misc - by skc (man) - United Kingdom



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