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JustDerpin

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JustDerpin
  • Town/Country : Nowhere, USA
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4432
  • Number of comments : 170
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About JustDerpin : Hi, I'm a person

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100 kick ass comments

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JustDerpin's favorite FMLs

Today, while making out with my boyfriend, he started playing with my nipples. Suddenly he stops kissing me, looks at my nipples and says, "Have they always been like this? They look like joysticks!". He then started singing the Super Mario Brother's theme song and playing the game with my nipples. FML

#9086835
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21389) - you deserved it (3952)

On 03/14/2010 at 10:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was talking to my best friend about a cute guy that girls are afraid to even speak to, so I then decided to march right up to him and say hello. When he smiled at me, I stood there with my mouth wide open, but I made non-coherent words. He asked me if I was a foreign exchange student. FML

#8784416
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5698) - you deserved it (17393)

On 03/02/2010 at 9:37pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, while at McDonald's, I saw an 8 year old girl licking a life-size Ronald McDonald sitting on a bench. Being concerned, I told her mother who then yelled at me for 10 minutes for being a "paedophile" and "being turned on by an 8 year old girl." FML

#8781729
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21175) - you deserved it (1901)

On 03/02/2010 at 8:20pm - misc - by JackG - United States (Montana)

Today, my maid washed my PS3. Yes, with soap and water. FML

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend, when the Taco Bell I'd eaten for lunch came back up for round two. Undigested rice and beans got stuck in his hair. FML

#7523418
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21903) - you deserved it (6521)

On 01/23/2010 at 4:13pm - love - by Aphrodite - Sent from mobile version

Today, one of my employees lit my tie on fire. FML

#7430304
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19364) - you deserved it (4291)

On 01/19/2010 at 12:00am - work - by mcdman (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I had to look up how to eat a mango on the internet. FML

#7021786
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7110) - you deserved it (30273)

On 12/29/2009 at 9:10pm - misc - by mylifeissad (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I remembered my mom got her carpet cleaned and to be careful while she was at work. To be nice, I vacuumed the whole house. Feeling proud of myself, I got a drink and went upstairs. I tripped and spilled red Kool-Aid all over the floor. FML

#6976718
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18145) - you deserved it (11017)

On 12/27/2009 at 5:25pm - misc - by xMiSS_CuTiEx (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I got a call from my local hospital's emergency room, stating my wife was in labour. My wife and I split years ago, but just haven't divorced. She is telling everyone I am the baby's father, my current girlfriend is 7 months pregnant with my child. FML

#6863042
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20147) - you deserved it (8105)

On 12/21/2009 at 10:23am - intimacy - by johnG (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I looked at my house in Google Street View for the first time and noticed an unfamiliar vehicle in the driveway. When I asked my wife about it, she admitted to have an ongoing affair. Apparently the entire world knew my wife was having an affair before I did. FML

#6808651
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31425) - you deserved it (1909)

On 12/18/2009 at 9:31am - love - by cheaters_should_die (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I met a girl who's the whole package: brains, beauty, shared interests, great personality, single, and into me. Too bad I married my bitchy, depressive high school girlfriend who said she'd kill herself if I didn't. Sometimes, she still tells me she'll do it if we divorce. I believe her. FML

#6677904
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40991) - you deserved it (19808)

On 12/09/2009 at 8:27am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was outside, peeing on a cactus. Then all of a sudden my dog jumped on my back, knocking me into the cactus. FML

#6435507
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10156) - you deserved it (44863)

On 11/24/2009 at 12:11pm - animals - by yomamma787 - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I saw one of my favorite hockey players in public. I had met him once before, and to my shock, he remembered me. I was pretty excited until he started talking to his friend in French. He didn't seem to realize that I'm fluent in the language. He basically called me "ugly psycho bitch." FML

#6417611
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33503) - you deserved it (5923)

On 11/23/2009 at 1:59am - misc - by frenchgirl (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I sent a Facebook friend request to the guy who had the party I was at last night. I immediately realized, however, that my new profile picture is of me, smiling and holding the trophy I stole from his house. FML

#6312169
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4224) - you deserved it (61821)

On 11/15/2009 at 12:34pm - misc - by Klepto (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my Dad decided to take his medicine before eating. He passed out with his face in a plate of chocolate cake. He wasn't responsive so I called the paramedics. When he got to the hospital, the doctor asked him if he knew why he was there. He replied, "Because my stupid daughter over reacted." FML

#6298520
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26235) - you deserved it (2261)

On 11/14/2009 at 7:35am - misc - by Kassiopia (woman) - United States (Florida)



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