Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

JustDerpin

Search for a member

JustDerpin

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5568
  • Number of comments : 170
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About JustDerpin : Hi, I'm a person

JustDerpin's page activity

Visits<b>Nicky816</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 11:29am<b>jayeterror775</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 12:41pm<b>Jazzy9999</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 3:47pm<b>ToxicSilence</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 9:24pm<b>myoukei</b> - the 11/13/2013 at 11:57am<b>pikachuchu1234</b> - the 11/08/2013 at 9:01pm<b>xAttackAttackx</b> - the 08/09/2013 at 10:53pm<b>horne2</b> - the 08/01/2013 at 12:14am<b>yellowchocobo</b> - the 06/10/2013 at 8:09pm<b>annalily5</b> - the 10/13/2012 at 11:16pm<b>Fablelord</b> - the 10/09/2012 at 7:22pm<b>Silent_Thrill</b> - the 09/08/2012 at 12:55am<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 08/27/2012 at 2:15pm<b>redhedsaysrawr</b> - the 08/13/2012 at 7:07pm<b>sadistmonkey</b> - the 08/12/2012 at 12:56pm<b>Marceline_17</b> - the 07/16/2012 at 2:06pm<b>jwbfml</b> - the 07/07/2012 at 11:34am<b>The_Troller</b> - the 05/06/2012 at 6:04pm

JustDerpin's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of JustDerpin's badges

JustDerpin's favorite FMLs

Today, I was slapped across the face by a girl in the waiting room at the dentist's office. She thought I was taking a picture of her breasts with my phone. I was smiling while reading other people's FMLs. FML

#20189568
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38573) - you deserved it (3144)

On 12/03/2012 at 3:35pm - misc - by karmamaybe - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I was shopping when I overheard a woman telling an employee that she was buying an iPad for her 5-year-old son. Annoyed, I turned around and ranted about how he should have more age appropriate toys. Then she explained that her son is autistic and will be using the iPad to communicate. FML

#20183504
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7978) - you deserved it (81624)

On 11/29/2012 at 12:29am - misc - by Mimi - United States

Today, I delivered a pizza to a guy so high out of his mind that I had to let myself in and set it down on a table, because he'd forgotten how to walk, and was on the ground sobbing. FML

#20157750
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24649) - you deserved it (1774)

On 11/10/2012 at 4:14pm - misc - by anon - United States (Washington)

Today, at my school they were having a carnival to raise money. One of the patrons suggested that if they wanted to make money, they should have people pledge money to make me cover my ugly face with a bag. The school got over $500, and I had to wear a bag. FML

#20143313
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27597) - you deserved it (2238)

On 11/01/2012 at 7:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, a customer smiled, looked me in the eye and described to me in graphic detail the swelling that occurred to his nuts after his vasectomy. FML

#20142730
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18113) - you deserved it (1495)

On 11/01/2012 at 9:52am - work - by tmi. - Australia

Today, I was handing candy to a little boy who was trick or treating by himself. He was small enough to grab the candy and run past me into my house. I've been searching my house for two hours and still can't find him. I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML

#20142294
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32457) - you deserved it (2298)

On 10/31/2012 at 11:04pm - kids - by ananymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was handing candy to a little boy who was trick or treating by himself. He was small enough to grab the candy and run past me into my house. I've been searching my house for two hours and still can't find him. I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML

#20142294
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32457) - you deserved it (2298)

On 10/31/2012 at 11:04pm - kids - by ananymous - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend and I were preparing for the arrival of Hurricane Sandy. I tasked him with going out to buy emergency groceries in case we lose power. He returned with dozens of microwave cup noodles. We're going to starve. FML

#20137235
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23596) - you deserved it (3391)

On 10/28/2012 at 4:14pm - love - by cupnoodles (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my husband thought it would be funny to tell my 10-year-old son that if he wanted to get girls, he had to do the Gangnam Style. My son has now non-stop been doing the Gangnam Style. FML

#20136801
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20898) - you deserved it (4073)

On 10/28/2012 at 10:53am - kids - by friedbutter - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I saw a folder on my son's PC named "PussyPictures". I sat him down for a talk, only to be told they contained pictures of the James Bond character Pussy Galore, for his essay about sexism in movies. He's now mocking me for "having a dirty mind". FML

#20135671
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8991) - you deserved it (32749)

On 10/27/2012 at 3:28pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I found out that my daughter has a hit list. There are over thirty names on there. My name is on it as well. FML

#20135128
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21017) - you deserved it (3271)

On 10/27/2012 at 3:20am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I tagged along with some friends to a party in the woods. Halfway into the night, a party-goer's boyfriend got extremely drunk and violent, causing the others to panic and drive away in the two cars we pooled in. My best friend and I had to run all the way back home on foot. FML

#20134435
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17574) - you deserved it (3617)

On 10/26/2012 at 4:49pm - misc - by Miss Spasticator (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went out of my way to avoid street preachers thrusting hateful propaganda at me. A young woman ran up to me and started waving paper in my face, and I snapped at her to fuck off. Right afterwards I realised she was returning something that fell out of my pocket. She looked terrified. FML

#20133994
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7119) - you deserved it (29469)

On 10/26/2012 at 8:24am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I went bowling. I noticed a 10-year-old holding an iPod Touch which had the exact same customized case with my name on it as my iPod that was stolen a year ago at the same bowling centre. Even better, the parents yelled at me for accusing him. I got kicked out the bowling centre. FML

Today, I found a notebook my 12-year-old sister had been doodling in. Turns out the "doodles" were poems full of obscenities and descriptions of how she wanted to hurt herself. When I showed it to my mom, she accused me of writing the notebook myself to frame my sister. FML

#20133698
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23726) - you deserved it (1899)

On 10/26/2012 at 12:38am - kids - by familyofpsychos - United States (Nebraska)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: