This member hasn't filled in the description.
Today, in aerobics, while stretching, my friend leaned over to pull the long hair off my pants. It was my pubic hair sticking through my pants, and I screamed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8739) - you totally deserved it (24974)
On 12/08/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by cookscatastrophy - United States (California)
Today, I woke up to a phone call from my boss' wife. She demanded to know how long we'd been sleeping together. When I denied her allegations, she screamed that she knew all about my "history of sleeping with married men". I'm a virgin and I have to work with him tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18646) - you totally deserved it (685)
On 11/16/2009 at 11:05pm - misc - by bad_day_in_hell - United States (Montana)
Today, my boyfriend decided to be romantic and literally sweep me off my feet... directly into a door frame. Now my face is bruised, and the police officer at my school has asked me if I need to make a report about anything. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13914) - you totally deserved it (912)
On 11/16/2009 at 8:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)
Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML
I agree, your life sucks (51161) - you totally deserved it (5035)
On 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm - kids - by ....... (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7185) - you totally deserved it (185617)
On 06/11/2009 at 12:06pm - misc - by I_Am_The_Edge (man) - United States (California)
Today, I thought it would be funny to fart in my roommates mouth while he was asleep. I walked over to him and pulled my pyjamas down and let loose. To my surprise it was a very wet one and I accidently took a dump on his face, he woke up and beat me until I was bleeding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16757) - you totally deserved it (250049)
On 04/18/2009 at 1:09am - health - by dumptaker (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (107304) - you totally deserved it (27591)
On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up!". FML
I agree, your life sucks (45685) - you totally deserved it (10714)
On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)
[ Page : 1 ]
« Previous page | Next page »
