Junkie_Razor

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Offline (the 05/27/2016 at 5:30pm)

Junkie_Razor

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Junkie_Razor
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 1 January 1937 (79 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2168
  • Number of comments : 36
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Junkie_Razor : ......

Junkie_Razor's page activity

Visits<b>xXBlakDayXx</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 2:33am<b>SuckItOrDieX69</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 12:31am<b>herecomestheboom</b> - the 03/18/2016 at 3:45am<b>thefmlman2011</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 7:13pm<b>Random_Princess</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 6:56pm<b>D_Word_Head</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 2:02am<b>kmaheynoway</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 9:18pm<b>Katiekhalifa</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 11:06am<b>lapperly</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 3:31pm<b>emmilol</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 6:34am<b>billionair11</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 5:13pm<b>TheBlackRussian</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 4:03pm<b>Behind_walls</b> - the 02/23/2013 at 11:11pm<b>U_GotitDude</b> - the 02/03/2013 at 1:48pm<b>konstantinos616</b> - the 12/31/2012 at 10:25am<b>nerdsgetmehot</b> - the 11/13/2011 at 12:49am

Junkie_Razor's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of Junkie_Razor's badges

Junkie_Razor's favorite FMLs

Today, I noticed that after a month of using my gel, it never seems to empty. I then found out my older brother and his friends had been pumping their man-juice into it. FML

by theish / 02/04/2011 at 9:08am / Intimacy

Today, at a restaurant, I ordered the best chocolate soufflé on the menu, which was called "Double Satisfaction". The waiter asked me what would I like to order. The words that came out of my mouth were "Double Orgasm". FML

by theshameofit / 02/01/2011 at 12:42pm / Cyprus (Limassol) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to my new roommate staring at me, just a few inches from my face. She then told me how easy I would be to kill in my sleep. Then she stood up, naked from head to toe. FML

by 123roomielover / 01/26/2011 at 12:40pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad’s best friend, who has been his business associate for the past 28 years, took me to a Star Wars store for my 18th birthday. He put on a Darth Vader helmet, and imitating his voice, said: "I am your father." I laughed. It wasn’t a joke. FML

by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 4:53am / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to play a friendly game of Clue with my family. This resulted in one kid crying, one dad with a broken nose, two broken plates and a trip to Walmart to get a new Clue game. FML

by fail / 01/15/2011 at 8:50pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in a dating auction. I was bought for $2. The man who won a date with me recited every dialog from the movie The Lord of the Rings. FML

by Anonymous / 12/12/2010 at 3:04am / Canada (Quebec) / Love

Today, I was cleaning one of my elderly patient's teeth. After finishing and reminding her to floss, I realised she had died. Supposedly she was dead for a good 20 minutes. FML

by mrdentist / 12/02/2010 at 8:20am / Love

Today, I went to see a famous rapper perform. My girlfriend got us up to the front to get pictures with him. He went to give me a high-five, I thought it was a fist-bump, so I made a fist. So he made a fist while I made a palm to match his retracted high-five. Then I panicked, cupped his fist and ran. FML

by blackitalian / 11/26/2010 at 10:43am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was feeling nauseous and my cat was comforting me. I breathed in through my nose, and my cat's fur caused me to sneeze. I sneezed so hard, I threw up out my nose. Nothing will get rid of the smell from within my nasal cavity. FML

by can't breathe / 11/22/2010 at 6:33am / Australia (Western Australia) / Health

Today, I started an awesome job with competitive pay. I also found out that the place is closing its doors in June. FML

by Anonymous / 11/17/2010 at 5:58am / United States / Work

Today, my 5 year old son and I went out. As I was looking in the window display of a shop, I turned around to witness my son pooping in an open manhole on the street. FML

by Anonymous / 11/04/2010 at 7:54pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I was on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy comes and sits next to me. Next thing I know, he lets out a loud fart, then looks my way with pride. I stare back in shock. He then says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML

by flying13 / 11/03/2010 at 3:27am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous

Today, at an Aunt's wake, my five year old son walked up to the coffin, and, with the whole family around him, exclaimed, "Well that's good, I was wondering where she's been." FML

by Anonymous / 10/29/2010 at 4:31am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, finishing up in the shower room, I walked into the kitchen to get a drink. Apparently both bathrooms were occupied and my grandmother really had to go... She was bent over in the kitchen peeing into a cup. I may never be able to erase this image. FML

by Anonymous / 10/18/2010 at 7:48am / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was tidying my room when my gran came in and offered to help. I said I didn't need any, but she started going through it anyway. She found a tube of "Very Cherry" lube and asked what it was. I subtly tore off the label and tried to convince her it was a face mask. She's taken it to try it out tonight. FML

by Dilly / 10/10/2010 at 4:29pm / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy