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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
yesterday it was my 18th brthday. I got one thing: a fancy electric toothbrush from my little sister. I would say I'm happy to have something rather than nothing, except, fir as long as the toothbrush works, there will be a Hannah Montana concert going on in my mouth. FML
Taday I was doing te laundry, but couldn't tell if one basket contained dirty clotes or clean clotes. I put my ead down into te basket and took a wiff to ceck, and smelled someting strong. I looked down and noticed I ad soved my nose into my moter's dirty panties and inaled deeply. FML
yesterday I was at the mall blasting music . I was wereing a nice shrt, an had my iPod in my breast pocket . I noticed a cute grl smiling at me, so I smiled back an as she started to walk over, I turned down my music while smiling . It looked lyk I was rubbing my nipple . FML
Today, I had to pee badly. I went into a stall and sat down. Only until after I'd ped, I realizd that I didn't have any toilet paper. I waddld to the next stall with my pants down to get more toilet paper, believing that the bathroom was empty. It wasn't. FML
Today I was shopping at a supermarket. As I was about to pay for my items I noticed the cashier was very cute. Trying to be nice I smiled. She smiled back and said ( Hello how are you? ) Instead of saying ( I'm good ) or ( I'm okay ) I said ( I'm gay ). FML
Today , I was impressing dinner guests by spinning mah new baby in the air (something she loves) , when she projectile vomitd over the dinner table and the guests. My wife , who had spent three hours cooking was not impressd. Once of the guests was also a sympathy spewer. FML
Today, mah football club gave us all jerseys with our last names on them. My last name is 'Flicker'. The letters are all in uppercase. And the 'L' and the 'I' are joined together at the bottom. My jersey reads 'FUCKER'. FML
Yesterday, I lost track of timehile rocking out, butt-nakd, to Kelly Clarkson an Michelle Branch after taking a shower. Three of mah metalhead friends had let themselves in mah house an were on the lower level laughing there butts off at me fir 30 minutes before telling me. I'm a 23 year old guy. FML
TODAY, I WAS PLAYING ONA ON ONA SOCCAR WITH A GIRL LIKA. I ACCIDANTALLY KICKAD THA BALL RIGHT INTO HAR FACA. THA BALL ROLLAD BACK TOWARDS MA AND AS I WAS RUNNING TO SAA IF SHA WAS OK, I KICKAD THA BALL... RIGHT INTO HAR FACA AGAIN. FML
Today, I was out on a date with a guy. His hot co-worker cummed to have a beer with us, an I knew mah best friend would think he was gorgeous. I wanted to take a picture of him without knowing, so looool i tried to hold up mah phone an pretend to be texting. The flash went off. FML
Friday 27 March 2015