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Julieannx3's favorite FMLs
by CALIdime_15 / 05/05/2012 at 1:42am / United States / Intimacy
by dentistrygirl / 05/03/2012 at 3:41pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I had a chest x-ray. I thought everything was okay, that is until the tech gasped slightly and muttered, "Mother of God." I asked him what was wrong, and he kept insisting he had no idea what I was talking about. Now I'm so upset I can't even sleep. FML
by Anonymous / 05/02/2012 at 6:41pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Health
Today, I was hanging out with some of my friends when I fell asleep. When I woke up, I found that they had shaved the F word into my arm. I don't know what is more disturbing: the fact that this is what my friends do for fun, or that I have enough arm hair to have four letters shaved into it. FML
by HAIRY / 04/26/2012 at 4:23pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous
Today, I walked into a public restroom to find that they had set up a free health clinic for the homeless; by that I mean that I found one bum inspecting and cleaning the infected, bloody genitals of another bum. FML
by Anonymous / 04/26/2012 at 8:08am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy
by Capteen / 04/22/2012 at 8:17am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy
Today, while landscaping my backyard, I was pulling a big weed out of the ground. After the last tug, the soil came free, but ended up with me punching myself full force in the nuts. I think my future children are already filing for parental abuse. FML
by JurassicHole / 04/21/2012 at 11:27pm / United States / Health
Today, I woke up to a really cold feeling down below. I opened my eyes and saw my girlfriend grinning like a maniac and holding my crotch-sausage between two scissor blades. I screamed in terror like a little bitch, and she says I'm never gonna live this down. FML
by Hakimstah / 04/21/2012 at 1:38pm / Lebanon / Intimacy
Today, I am six months pregnant and have been lactating. When I noticed this and pointed it out to my husband, I jokingly stated that I felt like a cow. He then replied. "Oh, you're not a cow. At most you're just a fat pig." He still has no clue why I'm upset. FML
by wmkaz / 04/21/2012 at 2:15am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, as I was washing my boyfriend's fishbowl, the fish did a Nemo and made an unholy leap down the drain. My immediate impulse was to flip the switch. Our kitchen now smells like mutilated fish and my boyfriend won't speak to me. FML
by gimmeasalad / 04/21/2012 at 2:01am / United States (California) / Animals
by lindsaykay / 04/17/2012 at 8:07pm / United States / Intimacy
by Were do we go... / 04/15/2012 at 12:24am / United States / Intimacy
by Munkeh / 04/12/2012 at 4:42pm / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Intimacy
Today, I met a guy while out with some friends. He kept blowing up his cheeks, so I did it back to him and asked him why he did it. He pulled out a card from his wallet and pointed at it. It was a card saying he may have speech or facial difficulties because he had a stroke when he was 12. FML
by Holls / 04/12/2012 at 9:47am / United Kingdom (Bristol, City of) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/12/2012 at 12:18am / United States (Minnesota) / Kids