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Julieannx3's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 06/09/2012 at 12:51am / United States (Mississippi) / Love
Today, at the beach, my boyfriend picked me up and carried me over his shoulder. I felt my bikini top come undone in the process. I panicked and pulled down on his shorts. We were fined for indecent exposure. FML
by Anonymous / 06/08/2012 at 10:36pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous
Today, after a very painful mouth surgery, I went home to take a nap. Then my nose started bleeding, so I stuck a tissue in it and fell asleep. When I woke up, I was so high from painkillers that when I saw the tissue, I thought it was a ghost. I screamed so loud I burst a stitch. FML
by LaurenB / 06/07/2012 at 2:12pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Health
by Darwin_Award_Winner / 06/07/2012 at 8:10am / United States (Texas) / Health
by Scared / 06/04/2012 at 8:54pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals
by whattheheck / 06/04/2012 at 12:34am / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up after a night of partying and heavy drinking. Apparently word travels quickly, because everyone now knows that I spent hours lying in an empty bathtub, rubbing shampoo over my body with the expectation that it'd increase my penis size. FML
by Anonymous / 06/03/2012 at 1:43pm / Spain (Castilla y Leon) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to my girlfriend's house to break up with her. It was a hard decision and both of us became quite emotionally overwhelmed at the time. We began to hug as a final goodbye, then her mum burst in the room and yelled, "HE FINALLY PROPOSED!" FML
by Matt / 06/03/2012 at 10:21am / Australia (Victoria) / Love
Today, Child Protective Services came to my house, because my 7-year-old son told people at school that he was uncomfortable sleeping in his uncle's bed. I had to explain to them that the uncle in question died 2 years ago, and that's why it felt weird. FML
by Anonymous / 06/01/2012 at 3:02am / United States / Kids
by Anonymous / 05/30/2012 at 6:35pm / Italy (Lombardia) / Love
by Terri-Lynn / 05/30/2012 at 4:25pm / Canada (Alberta) / Health
Today, I had to sneak out of work to get my daughter from her school. Apparently, she had thought that hurling a bowling ball down the stairs during the lunch hour rush would make her cool. In actual fact, it made her expelled. FML
by Anonymous / 05/30/2012 at 2:47pm / United Kingdom (Vale of Glamorgan, The) / Miscellaneous
Today, my wife and I convened our families for a joint dinner, followed by me breaking the news that my wife is pregnant. My father visibly scoffed, and my grandfather spent the rest of the evening muttering to him about how "breeders should be shot". Wonderful. FML
by unzucht / 05/30/2012 at 12:45pm / Romania (Bucuresti) / Kids
by chlorinesmells / 05/30/2012 at 9:51am / United States / Work
by Brax / 05/30/2012 at 5:46am / United States / Intimacy
- 1Today, after two weeks of trying to convince my parents to go to my high school graduation. They… 2Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 3Today, my flatmate came home from a date with the same guy that I have been in love with since high…
- Today, I walked into the bathroom and found my sister cleaning her vibrator. With my toothbrush. FML Today, I heard my mother and father having sexual intercourse, and I found out that my mother moans… Today, I looked out my window to see the sunset, but instead I see my neighbor dancing with strobe…