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Today, I had to finally accept that my husband is too large for me. Normally, it'd be a bragging point, except my private parts can't handle it. After several infections brought on after vaginal tearing, I'm having to choose between being in perpetual pain, or giving up my sex life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38491) - you deserved it (2644)
On 08/18/2012 at 10:48pm - intimacy - by sal (woman) - United States (Idaho)
Today, I found out my late grandfather left me a significant amount of money in his will. I thought it was weird because he always acted like he hated me. When I got the envelope, there was $500,000 inside, all in Monopoly money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27528) - you deserved it (2084)
On 07/20/2012 at 1:13am - money - by Rachel - United States
Today, I'm still freshly circumcised. My penis is still very sensitive, and I can't squat to grab stuff off the floor because of the pressure against my jeans. Kicking the objects up into my hands was working well, that is until I spilled a pack of 300 toothpicks all over the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20873) - you deserved it (5891)
On 07/13/2012 at 7:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I had this amazing dream that a beautiful girl was giving me head. It was getting really hot, so in my dream, I reached down to push on her head, but in real life I actually swung my arm down and punched myself in the balls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14365) - you deserved it (31452)
On 07/10/2012 at 6:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I was sitting in my car waiting my shift to start. I must've fallen asleep because I woke up to a call from my boss firing me. I was in the parking lot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7417) - you deserved it (12247)
On 07/09/2012 at 5:26pm - work - by idiot - United States
Today, my brother thought it would be funny to pretend my tampons were "dynamite" and run around the house throwing them at my friends and family. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15359) - you deserved it (1519)
On 07/05/2012 at 12:01am - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, a homeless man tried to sell me a "magic, one-finger glove". It was a used condom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23417) - you deserved it (2004)
On 06/24/2012 at 10:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, after careful consideration, I told my wife I really want to have kids. She laughed, until she finally realized I was serious, at which point she flicked me in the balls and said, "Problem solved." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18747) - you deserved it (2215)
On 06/20/2012 at 12:41pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I got stung by jellyfish. As I was writhing in pain on the beach, my dad comes up and asks me to be quiet and that I'm embarrassing him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17339) - you deserved it (1524)
On 06/19/2012 at 6:32am - misc - by StungAlot (woman) - United States
Today, my husband has decided to grow a mullet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22298) - you deserved it (2717)
On 06/17/2012 at 2:33am - misc - by flyingpuppy - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I trimmed my beard. When I showed my wife, she said, "Yeah, but you still look like a serial killer." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15544) - you deserved it (4094)
On 06/16/2012 at 2:10pm - misc - by Schaf_12 (man) - Austria (Wien)
Today, I walked in on my wife masturbating. Naturally, I asked her if she needed some help. She replied, "Nah, I've got this." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18518) - you deserved it (10987)
On 06/13/2012 at 5:30pm - intimacy - by Steve (man) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I asked my girlfriend why she never lets me in her house. She stared blankly and said, "What is inside is not for thine eyes." I told her best friend about this creepiness later on. She sighed and said, "T'was not for mine eyes either. I didst fail to listen." I feel like I'm losing my mind here. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18878) - you deserved it (2423)
On 06/11/2012 at 5:45pm - love - by amidreaming?? (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well, until he tried to put it in. A few minutes later, he said "It's not hard enough." We tried for another half hour to fix that. We ended up eating ice cream. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23555) - you deserved it (3533)
On 06/10/2012 at 12:13am - intimacy - by rachiej8 - United States (Vermont)
Today, I got a really bad sunburn. On my eyelids. Who knew blinking could be so painful? FML
I agree, your life sucks (17930) - you deserved it (3678)
On 06/09/2012 at 1:54am - misc - by donnap (woman) - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
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