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Today, I finally started exercising. I'm a rather obese person and I'm super pumped up to finally get off my lazy butt and lose some weight. Locking myself in my room, I first started with a very simple exercise: jumping jacks. I farted each time I jumped. I jumped 10 times. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38933) - you deserved it (9409)
On 05/04/2013 at 4:11am - health - by thatonesilentkidinclass (man) - Philippines (Batangas)
Today, I was in the middle of having a shower when I noticed a camera hidden in the corner of the room pointing directly towards the shower which I stood in butt-naked. I live by myself and have recently only moved in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55581) - you deserved it (2579)
On 04/28/2013 at 6:30am - misc - by wtfisgoingon (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, my school took part in a standardized state test. After finishing, I decided to take a nap, only to be awoken by the test monitor, who wanted me to leave. Apparently, I was ferociously farting in my sleep and was disturbing the people still taking the test. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51657) - you deserved it (10769)
On 04/24/2013 at 3:14pm - misc - by Skyler - United States
Today, while practicing a song in choir, I got a boner. Trying to cover it up, I tried sitting down. My choir teacher got mad and made me stand in front of the whole class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55007) - you deserved it (6755)
On 04/23/2013 at 12:08pm - intimacy - by Soundofaboner - United States
Today, I grabbed a pair of pants from the dryer in a hurry, trying to make it to the bank. When I rushed in, I felt something fall down my leg. It was a pair of my mom's granny panties that had been stuck inside my jeans. I kicked them aside, hoping no one would notice. They did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40183) - you deserved it (8689)
On 04/17/2013 at 3:01pm - misc - by pantydropper (woman) - United States
Today, I woke up with my face covered in blood. Turns out that yesterday at my colleague's birthday party, I got so drunk that I started yelling "Nappy time!" before falling out of my hammock and face-first onto the concrete ground. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12096) - you deserved it (26968)
On 04/08/2013 at 3:20pm - misc - by nosey (woman) - United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff)
Today, my older brother walked in on me while I was wearing nothing but a bra, panties, pantyhose, and high heels. I'm his little brother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19041) - you deserved it (57863)
On 04/02/2013 at 6:52pm - misc - by SayCheese - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, while I was in the shower, my boyfriend decided to join me. We were really getting into it and he attempted to lift me up. Not only did I let out a massive fart, he slipped and fell on top of me. He won't stop laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32282) - you deserved it (6281)
On 02/19/2013 at 3:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous -
Today, I was playing Slender, when I caught a glimpse of the Slenderman. I jumped in my chair, letting rip a huge fart in the process. Nobody heard it, but only because my shrieks of terror drowned out the sound. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16359) - you deserved it (6026)
On 02/08/2013 at 4:59pm - misc - by theydidsmellitthough (man) - Israel (HaMerkaz)
Today, I walked in on my mom drenched in tears, barely able to speak. I ran to get her some tissues and a nice cup of tea to calm her down. After a few minutes of sitting in silence, I asked her if she wanted to talk about what happened. She watched an episode of Gossip Girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22509) - you deserved it (1819)
On 02/03/2013 at 4:58am - misc - by wetqueefa (man) - United States (California)
Today, while video chatting with my girlfriend, who lives on the other side of the country, I thought I'd play a song for her on my guitar. The string broke and hit me in the face. I burst into tears and had to hang up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26940) - you deserved it (5681)
On 01/21/2013 at 12:04pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I grabbed his butt to control his thrusts and got a clump of used toilet paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47588) - you deserved it (4447)
On 01/18/2013 at 5:50am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I spontaneously poured my heart out for my boyfriend, telling him how much I love and adore him. He answered by leaning in close, saying "Jolly good" in an affected accent, and burping loud and clear in my ear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21660) - you deserved it (3351)
On 01/12/2013 at 3:12pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)
Today, I went out for dinner with my long-term crush, who turned out to be a huge dog person. He asked me which dog breed I like the most. In an attempt to reply with both Labrador and Doberman, I accidentally said Dumbledore. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25543) - you deserved it (6801)
On 01/10/2013 at 7:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Slovakia
Today, my 14-year-old son showed me a "bird's egg" he was looking after in his room. It was a dried up dog turd. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21897) - you deserved it (6545)
On 01/10/2013 at 1:28am - kids - by Facepalmum (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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