17.
College student.
California.
Vegetarian.
Atheist.
I'll answer messages. [:
Today, I met my boyfriend's notoriously difficult mother. I had been looking forward to meeting her and making a good impression. Unfortunately, I could not greet her as her son's penis was still in my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7553) - you totally deserved it (4179)
On 01/13/2010 at 11:42am - intimacy - by pleasedtomeetyou (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, at work, I was accidentally knocked down a long flight of stairs. Determined to keep my balance I went with the fall, hoping to regain my balance on every step. By the time reached the bottom, I had so much momentum I crashed through a plasterboard wall, into a board meeting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19702) - you totally deserved it (1638)
On 01/13/2010 at 9:19am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my best friend was texting me about her sick dog. She wrote "Do you think she will get better?", so I wrote "I hope she does". It wasn't until later that I realized I accidentally wrote "I hope she dies" instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16934) - you totally deserved it (5013)
On 01/04/2010 at 10:32pm - misc - by poordog (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I witnessed my drunk grandmother attempting the Single Ladies dance, complete with hip gyrations and ass slapping. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18027) - you totally deserved it (1889)
On 01/03/2010 at 1:06pm - misc - by ohdear (woman) - United Kingdom (Falkirk)
Today, I took a friend home from the hospital. She was on medication that made her drowsy. She fell onto her bed and asked me to help her take off some clothes since she had her winter gear on. She passes out and her roommate walks in and catches me undressing an unconscious girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20550) - you totally deserved it (1442)
On 12/24/2009 at 1:09am - love - by Nemesis2747 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I woke up lying on the ground outside with a horrible headache. I camped out in my tree house last night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12813) - you totally deserved it (5848)
On 12/11/2009 at 4:55pm - misc - by B-Man (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was riding my bike back to my house. Suddenly I was hit by something in the head. I looked down to see a lemon on the ground and looked up to see a guy yelling at me in a car that was passing. He was yelling at me because I got in the way of the house he was throwing it at. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15061) - you totally deserved it (1395)
On 11/30/2009 at 12:01am - misc - by Lemonhead (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I realized that if you are too lazy to get completely dressed in the morning and only put on a top, you should not answer a Skype video call from your boss that involves you standing up, turning around and grabbing files from your filing cabinet all in clear view of your web cam. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3879) - you totally deserved it (20887)
On 11/11/2009 at 8:54pm - work - by julie (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I was walking when I heard a car horn honk. I looked up to see a hot guy giving me a thumbs up. As he got a better look at me, he made a disgusted face and flipped his hand so he was giving me a thumbs down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22256) - you totally deserved it (2056)
On 10/26/2009 at 4:02pm - misc - by notsohot (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I woke up from a nap on my new bed to see my phone lit up with new texts. My friend sent out "Wanna test out my new bed?" as a mass text while I was asleep to every boy in my phone. Mark will be here in an hour, Jon wants to know what I'm wearing, and my ex's new girlfriend is not amused. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23548) - you totally deserved it (1651)
On 09/20/2009 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anathema_360 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was excited to see my ex-girlfriend. We had broken up while I was in Iraq and I wanted to try to get her back. I spent my first day back looking for a place to live while her and her new boyfriend got it on as I slept. I had chosen that apartment for us and paid for that bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24848) - you totally deserved it (3017)
On 09/20/2009 at 1:04am - love - by isuckatlyfe (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, My girlfriend and I were watching tv when suddenly one of our phones start going off. We both have the same phone and they were next to each other. She picks up the phone and reads the text message, "I wish you were here! I'd fuck you silly" She gets pissed and runs out. It was her phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35195) - you totally deserved it (1488)
On 09/11/2009 at 2:27pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, my daughter used the kids potty chair on her own for the first time. Bad: The bucket was not in it so poo hit the floor. Good: she tried to clean it... Bad: with her socks. Good: she decided to clean the socks. Bad: she used the wall. Good: she finally called dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29012) - you totally deserved it (2280)
On 09/10/2009 at 3:51am - kids - by Udxero (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend getting it on with the neighbour's daughter. As soon as he saw me, he started singing 'It Wasn't Me' by Shaggy, completely naked, still sitting with the girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37055) - you totally deserved it (2429)
On 08/30/2009 at 5:26pm - love - by shaggy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my husband and I decided to take a romantic trip to the beach. We got pulled over, and shortly thereafter he was arrested. Just so happens you can't miss child support payments for your twelve year old daughter without getting a warrant. He has a daughter? We've been married for 14 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43959) - you totally deserved it (1551)
On 08/26/2009 at 8:57pm - misc - by AreYouSerious (woman) - United States (Oregon)
