Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

JudgeComrade

Offline (the 08/28/2015 at 10:48pm) | Search for a member

JudgeComrade

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 703
  • Number of comments : 121
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

JudgeComrade's page activity

Visits<b>theBalloonPerson</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 4:11pm<b>blade9502</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 8:07am<b>Raleaf</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 1:15am<b>siilivaara</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 6:40am<b>justtheotherguy</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 4:10am<b>kellieclark</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 3:15am<b>martin8337</b> - the 12/06/2013 at 11:11am<b>TAB3S1D</b> - the 11/30/2013 at 2:42am<b>Shrouds</b> - the 11/15/2013 at 5:40pm<b>wilburhp</b> - the 07/21/2013 at 11:38pm

Fucked!<b>theBalloonPerson</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 10:11pm

JudgeComrade's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of JudgeComrade's badges

JudgeComrade's favorite FMLs

Today, I signed into my online class, got bored, and took off my headphones to argue with my roommates about anal sex. At the end of the argument, I put my headphones back on to hear my professor asking if someone could call me to tell me to turn my damn mic off. FML

Today, I got home and found my wife cuddling with the dog and our new kitten. Both the cat and my wife hissed at me when I tried to join in. FML

#21298618
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34091) - you deserved it (3955)

On 11/13/2014 at 9:14pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. The words "Christ, Jeff. It's a vagina, not a burrito. CALM DOWN!" were spoken. FML

#21290417
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41425) - you deserved it (12434)

On 11/02/2014 at 10:36am - intimacy - by jay-frey96 (man) - United States (California)

Today, after his sixth beer, my dad looked me in the eye and said "I've never forgiven you for what you did to your mother's vagina". FML

#21025234
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58377) - you deserved it (5857)

On 01/12/2014 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I woke up to a loud crashing in the middle of the night. I went to investigate, but found nothing amiss. Nothing except an axe firmly wedged in my front door, that is. It's safe to say that I have no clue who did it, and that I needed a fresh pair of underwear. FML

#20999316
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44563) - you deserved it (2642)

On 12/20/2013 at 4:05pm - misc - by nopissleft (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I tried Ambien for the first time. I now have to apologize to most of my exes for excessively rambling emails about getting together for some naked Twister. FML

#20929399
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33619) - you deserved it (11353)

On 10/21/2013 at 8:12pm - health - by OutOfMyMind (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I repeatedly had to ask people to please stop groping the mannequins. FML

Today, I woke up and found $30 slipped under my door with a note that read, "Please buy yourself a quieter vibrator. -Mom and Dad." FML

#20874309
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59538) - you deserved it (24755)

On 09/09/2013 at 11:15am - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend insisted that I start calling him "Professor Fucktard" in the bedroom. He seems to be dead serious about it. FML

#20777932
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44296) - you deserved it (5559)

On 07/12/2013 at 4:15pm - misc - by O_O (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my 25 year old brother dumped all my underwear into the fireplace for interrupting him while he was playing WoW. FML

#20593993
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43631) - you deserved it (11818)

On 04/15/2013 at 4:18pm - misc - by Kutakito (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my husband of 6 years said in a grave voice that he had some important news for me. Jokingly, I said, "Why, did you get that cute colleague of yours pregnant?" He did. FML

#20593773
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72634) - you deserved it (6471)

On 04/15/2013 at 2:36pm - love - by wow (woman) - Russian Federation (Saint Petersburg City)

Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML

#20582197
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50076) - you deserved it (5125)

On 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I walked in on my husband eating cat food out of the cat bowl dressed in a cat costume. FML

#20577178
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54319) - you deserved it (5950)

On 04/06/2013 at 7:42am - misc - by confusedcatlover (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML

#20558527
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31522) - you deserved it (5918)

On 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anna L. - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked outside to this guy attempting to steal my bike. When I asked him what he was doing he calmly replied, "I'm a bike inspector. You hooked your chain all wrong! This time is a warning; next time it'll be a ticket!" He then threw his full, opened Pepsi can at me. FML

#20524651
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27874) - you deserved it (2269)

On 02/27/2013 at 5:39pm - misc - by Chelsea - United States (Ohio)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: