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JubileeBee's favorite FMLs
by queenmeme / 10/08/2014 at 2:02am / United States (California) / Animals
by FML / 10/05/2014 at 7:30pm / United States (Texas) / Animals
by SmellyCloset / 10/05/2014 at 5:34pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I went to a parade. While I was there, I ran into my ex and his new girlfriend. Trying to prove I was over him, I tried to act like I was oblivious to them and having a great time. I turned around, only for a piece of candy to hit me square me in the eye. FML
by HarleyDavison / 10/05/2014 at 2:44pm / United States (Missouri) / Love
by Anonymous / 10/05/2014 at 1:04pm / United States (Kentucky) / Animals
Today, a customer was looking for some decking materials. I took her around the store and pointed out some nice plywood, noting that it's also fire-retardant, which might interest her. She got pissed off and bitched me out for supposedly calling her a retard. FML
by hopeless / 10/03/2014 at 5:13pm / Canada / Work
by Ryuun12 / 10/02/2014 at 11:20pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I held my bag of burger and fries out the window while driving, to preserve that new car smell. Not only did I hit a pothole and lose my lunch, I got pulled over by a cop who suspected I was either littering or tossing drugs when I saw him. FML
by ThatNewCarSmell / 10/01/2014 at 12:53pm / United States (California) / Transportation
Today, I was taking a table's order. After I finished, the guy told me, "Just FYI, I'm not a tipper." Trying to lighten up the situation, I replied, "It's amazing how many people forget I handle their food." He complained to the manager that I'd threatened him. FML
by Anonymous / 09/30/2014 at 7:42pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
Today, while running an event, my belt loop got caught in those metal whorls that outdoor chairs have. I couldn't get it undone and had to greet guests by standing up and bringing the chair with me, hanging from my ass. My coworker finally had to cut the belt loop to set me free. FML
by Abbynyc / 09/28/2014 at 7:40am / United States (New York) / Work
by Anonymous / 09/26/2014 at 10:46pm / United States (Washington) / Health
by Anonymous / 09/26/2014 at 3:44pm / United States (Missouri) / Animals
by disgusted / 09/25/2014 at 12:03am / United States (Maine) / Kids
by youonlyneed2squares / 09/24/2014 at 12:10am / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to stop at a gas station to go to the bathroom. A sign on the door told people to knock since the door didn't lock. As I was peeing, a lady walked in on me. Rather than simply saying sorry and shutting the damn door, she opened it wider and stepped in to apologize. FML
by rabid_otaku / 09/20/2014 at 7:39pm / United States (Illinois) / Transportation