About Jrefinne : If your aversion to proper spelling and/or grammar is severe enough, it is medically advised that you:
1) remove your head from your ass
2) go back to elementary school
3) stop being a fucking idiot
However, I like talking to people (preferably with intelligence), so feel free to PM me if you like. :]
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, I caught my boyfriend secretly using my hair straightener while I was in the other room. Too embarrassed to talk to him about it, I left and came back later, only to discover him slipping on a pair of my panties. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40121) - you deserved it (5934)
On 04/01/2011 at 11:55am - misc - by WTF? - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my six year old told me I have a big nose. When I told her that she hurt my feelings, she laughed and said "Don't be silly mummy, ugly people don't have feelings." FML
I agree, your life sucks (91412) - you deserved it (10764)
On 12/14/2010 at 3:21am - kids - by uglywoman - Australia (Queensland)
Today, while at work, my boss asked me to clean the bathroom. Someone pooped on the floor and I stepped in it, dropping my manager's keys into the toilet. I then had to clean up my shoe and the floor and put my hand in the toilet to get the keys. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24022) - you deserved it (2850)
On 01/28/2010 at 3:12pm - work - by sucksssssss - Sent from mobile version
Today, it was my 21st birthday. All my friends showed up at my house already drunk, so I had to be the designated driver. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42028) - you deserved it (2568)
On 08/18/2009 at 12:44am - misc - by thedd (woman) - United States (California)
Today, it was my 21st birthday. All my friends showed up at my house already drunk, so I had to be the designated driver. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42028) - you deserved it (2568)
On 08/18/2009 at 12:44am - misc - by thedd (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I noticed a string was following behind our family cat. After close inspection I realized it was a plastic kite string he partially digested. I had to pull the other three feet of plastic kite tail from his rectum. He purred the entire time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58460) - you deserved it (3710)
On 07/03/2009 at 3:06pm - animals - by RachelDC (woman) - United States (West Virginia)
Today, I took the bus to work and a sweet old lady got on after me and sat next to me. Halfway to work, she fell asleep and her head was on my shoulder. Trying to be nice, I gently tried to wake her up before my stop came. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (549467) - you deserved it (35325)
On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I went to the doctor because my arm hurt. When he told me I had tennis elbow I said "that's funny I don't play tennis". Then he asked me if I had a girlfriend. When I said no he said "Well I guess we solved this one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (63491) - you deserved it (16087)
On 04/04/2009 at 12:34am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (42579) - you deserved it (485200)
On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML
I agree, your life sucks (307164) - you deserved it (40936)
On 03/20/2009 at 12:15am - kids - by ScoobieDoo (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I threw a rock in the air and watched it soar. And watched it come back down and hit me in the face. Gravity. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4100) - you deserved it (36608)
On 01/13/2009 at 10:01am - misc - by Gale - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was teasing my cat with a piece of string when suddenly my phone rang. I answered it with one hand and put the string down with the other onto my lap. The beast seized the opportunity to spring, claws out, onto my privates. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16821) - you deserved it (8990)
On 11/14/2008 at 10:27pm - animals - by dooommage - Sent from mobile version
Today, I sent a text message to my girlfriend telling her how much I wanted to make love to her tonight. I've just realized I sent it to her brother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30911) - you deserved it (14481)
On 11/14/2008 at 6:20am - intimacy - by Kaji - Sent from mobile version
Today, I baby sat a four-year old kid, because his parents went partying. Once in bed, he yells "I want to go party!!". After 3 or 4 times, I told him to go to sleep. 2 hours later, wet bed. "Told you I want to go potty!!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (12079) - you deserved it (34074)
On 10/31/2008 at 3:06am - kids - by Tara - Sweden (Blekinge Lan)
Today, we had some family over. A nasty need to wank seized me when I saw her: my 17-year-old cousin. I went to my parents' unoccupied bedroom. My sister's baby walkie-talkie was switched on, and the whole family heard me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18432) - you deserved it (80531)
On 10/25/2008 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by VIVI -
Monday 20 May 2013
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