Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Josoccer

Search for a member

Josoccer

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 21 June 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 192
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Josoccer : None of your business

Josoccer's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Josoccer's favorite FMLs

Today, while at my job at a Christian summer camp, I overheard one of the kids swearing. I politely said, "Please, only speak as Jesus would." He paused for a moment and replied, "Go to hell." FML

#17109395
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18860) - you deserved it (45747)

On 07/14/2011 at 4:14pm - work - by sbutler (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I decided to pay a surprise visit to my family after I got some work leave. I drove over and knocked on the door, and a young couple answered. Apparently, my entire family decided to move to Texas, and didn't bother to tell me. FML

#17009779
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37941) - you deserved it (2947)

On 07/07/2011 at 1:53am - misc - by danielle887 - United States

Today, I noticed that after a month of using my gel, it never seems to empty. I then found out my older brother and his friends had been pumping their man-juice into it. FML

#14838014
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67978) - you deserved it (6251)

On 02/04/2011 at 9:08am - intimacy - by theish -

Today, I found out that I get to spend the next two weeks at my grandparents house, which smells like cat litter, while the rest of my family takes a cruise through the Carribean. They can't afford to take a ninth person. FML

#12096842
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35880) - you deserved it (2469)

On 07/25/2010 at 1:45am - animals - by greaaaatt. - United States (Ohio)

Today, after leaving work at 10 pm, I took a shortcut to the highway. After getting lost, my GPS informed me that the service was unavailable and I should try back in an hour. This occurred moments before I ran out of gas. FML

#8861127
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20556) - you deserved it (7525)

On 03/06/2010 at 1:16am - misc - by Lost... (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, the speakers on my laptop weren't working. I worried I'd broken something, and started freaking out. I restarted my computer numerous times and played with the settings for an hour before calling my sister in to help. She looked at it for two seconds, then unplugged my headphones. FML

#7612223
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5284) - you deserved it (35392)

On 01/27/2010 at 1:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, some thug tried to mug me. I panicked and ran. As they chased me with their knife out, I heard a slip and a shout behind me but kept running. Six blocks later I was spotted, arrested and held for questioning by the police. The mugger fell, stabbed themselves and told a cop that I did it. FML

#5911952
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52709) - you deserved it (2376)

On 10/20/2009 at 11:57am - misc - by BobbyHutchinson (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my husband and I got a new stainless steel microwave. When we took it out of the package we noticed it was blue and got angry. We were about to return it, but we called in our 12 year old daughter to see what she thought of the microwave. She then took off the blue protective plastic. FML

#4026521
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8063) - you deserved it (79605)

On 07/25/2009 at 7:30am - kids - by BlueBaby123 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I tried to imitate Mary Poppins by jumping off a shed with an umbrella. I spent the next 3 hours in the emergency room. My leg is broken. FML

#2418263
449 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20835) - you deserved it (218685)

On 05/29/2009 at 11:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a car was waiting for me to cross the street so I thought it would be funny to slowly limp across the street. When I got to the end, I jumped as high as I could to show I was faking. Turns out I tripped and hit my head hard on the sidewalk. That car took me to the hospital. FML

#820879
356 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19002) - you deserved it (251035)

On 04/05/2009 at 5:39pm - misc - by funnyguyNOT (man) - United States

Today, the real estate guy came with potential buyers to visit my house. He opened my bedroom while I was wanking. FML

#22
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49678) - you deserved it (36660)

On 10/13/2008 at 4:31am - intimacy - by rmL -



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: