JoshuasGirl

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Offline (the 11/27/2014 at 4:59am)

JoshuasGirl

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 710
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 4 posted

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JoshuasGirl's page activity

Visits<b>PinkiePiePony</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 5:27pm<b>swarm20</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 11:25pm<b>skiddalz</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 1:55am<b>helloimsaraa</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 4:40pm<b>foxxakush</b> - the 01/09/2014 at 4:30am<b>_ashole</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 5:55pm<b>aaronyetter</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 12:48pm<b>ndnpride88</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 9:00am<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 1:55am<b>firetrucker2857</b> - the 01/05/2014 at 1:35am<b>burro012</b> - the 01/05/2014 at 12:49am<b>TheCitizens96</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 10:12pm<b>Mike09220</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 7:04pm<b>saocrates</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 6:58pm<b>Anthony52</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 10:08am<b>zachwade</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 11:24pm<b>jtrizzle93</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 10:23pm<b>flufee2</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 9:43pm

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JoshuasGirl's favorite FMLs

Today, I found a decomposing hamster deep in my closet. My daughter had hidden "Peach" after accidentally killing it and said it had ran away a month ago. And I'd believed her. FML

by SmellyCloset / 10/05/2014 at 5:34pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I overheard my daughter talking to her boyfriend over the phone about having sex. She said, "You have to piss on me to get me pregnant, that's what I heard anyway." She's 16. FML

by SadMother / 10/04/2014 at 3:52pm / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy

Today, my allergies flared up and I started sneezing. I guess my girlfriend was having a bad day, because she lost her shit and started telling me how annoying I am and how I can never do anything right. I'm not sure if we're still a couple, because she stormed out and won't answer my calls. FML

by Anonymous / 10/04/2014 at 11:17am / Denmark / Health

Today, my teenage daughter asked me to buy her the morning after pill, saying "It's for my acne." FML

by Disappointed / 10/03/2014 at 11:08pm / Health

Today, I found out I'm allergic to condoms. Which would be great if my girlfriend wasn't allergic to birth control. FML

by oncehipjr / 10/03/2014 at 3:04pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I was taking a table's order. After I finished, the guy told me, "Just FYI, I'm not a tipper." Trying to lighten up the situation, I replied, "It's amazing how many people forget I handle their food." He complained to the manager that I'd threatened him. FML

by Anonymous / 09/30/2014 at 7:42pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, marks the third week since my sister's guinea pig learned to masturbate. He humps his wheel and makes squeaking noises for five minutes, then rolls over on his side and pants heavily. He does it at least twice a night while I'm trying to sleep. FML

by Anonomous / 12/28/2013 at 7:31pm / United States (Vermont) / Animals

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time, after he repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me. He passed out halfway through. FML

by JoshuasGirl / 12/23/2013 at 2:13pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, it's been a little over a month since my dad started taking yoga lessons. We always joked around behind his back that he was just doing it so he could get flexible enough to suck himself off. Well, that joke was confirmed as reality when I walked in on him trying just that. FML

by bleach bleach bleach / 12/22/2013 at 12:22pm / United States (Nevada) / Intimacy

Today, while going down on my girlfriend, she stopped moaning and told me to stop because she couldn't fake it anymore. FML

by Anonymous / 12/22/2013 at 3:45am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Just as he was about to finish, he pulled out and came in his hand. He then flicked his hand towards my face and yelled, "Sha-ZAM!" FML

by zamwow / 12/20/2013 at 6:36pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I learned that just because you live on a different continent, it doesn't mean your mother won't come knocking when you are having sex. FML

by hi Mum / 12/11/2013 at 2:59pm / United States (South Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I was rubbing one out in the shower. I guess I got a little too excited, because as I came close to climaxing, I had a serious asthma attack and had to wheeze for help. FML

by Anonymous / 11/29/2013 at 7:17pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It was also the first time he'd ever had sex. How could I tell? He cried all the way through, and called his parents right after. FML

by Anonymous / 11/29/2013 at 6:56am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, my parents kicked me out of the house because they were having a party. They gave me twenty bucks to go see a movie. Well, the movie ended pretty quick, but the trauma of seeing my parents in a swingers' orgy will take some time getting over. FML

by why god / 11/25/2013 at 1:16am / United States (California) / Intimacy