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Today, I poured my heart out into what had to be my greatest set of lyrics for my band ever, at the same time my teacher was explaining chemical changes to the class. At the end of the lecture he picked up my paper, and set it on fire to demonstrate a chemical change. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22304) - you totally deserved it (19453)
On 10/06/2009 at 6:23pm - misc - by 3LLI0TT (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, the weird receptionist at the hotel I'm staying at asked me if I needed an extra blanket because I "looked cold in my sleep last night". FML
I agree, your life sucks (39993) - you totally deserved it (1037)
On 09/24/2009 at 5:50am - misc - by scaredtosleep (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I had my 3 year old son in the doctors office. During the exam, he informed the doctor that he doesn't sleep in mommy's bed anymore because mommy sleeps in her underwear and farts all night long. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24035) - you totally deserved it (4860)
On 09/19/2009 at 10:37am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I walked in on my parents doing it. Luckily they didn't see me so I slipped out. I looked outside, trying to take my mind of the horrors I had just witnessed, only to realize my dad's car wasn't in the driveway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47235) - you totally deserved it (1359)
On 09/05/2009 at 6:11pm - kids - by WTF (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I got my first tattoo. It's a large broadsword which runs the length of my spine. I went home to show it off and learned that the hilt on my neck looks just like a penis when the rest of it is covered with my shirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8640) - you totally deserved it (36756)
On 08/25/2009 at 2:44am - misc - by damnit (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I had my friend Mark over for dinner. My Dad asked him what his dad did for a living. We all squirmed a bit when he told us that his dad died last year. We all went about finishing our meal when suddenly my dad says: "I'm sorry, Mark, what did you say your dad did for a living again?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (35028) - you totally deserved it (1007)
On 08/25/2009 at 12:40am - misc - by youzabadgirl12 - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I got my first period. My dad bought me a card and had everyone in my family sign it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35377) - you totally deserved it (2323)
On 08/24/2009 at 3:59pm - misc - by embarassed_chick (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was driving to work and I had to pee really badly. I am a teacher and my school was another 20 miles so I stopped on the side of the road. About halfway through, a bus full of laughing kids went by. They were all my students. My pants were down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8521) - you totally deserved it (24969)
On 08/21/2009 at 6:15pm - kids - by mrteacher (man) - United States (South Dakota)
Today, I got up the nerve to text the girl I've had a crush on to ask her on a date. I got back "Error message 3265: Number No Longer In Swrvice." Service was spelled wrong and when I looked it up, error message 3265 does not exist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47818) - you totally deserved it (4475)
On 08/17/2009 at 5:41pm - love - by ZSL (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend was fired. After breaking the news, he also broke up with me. Apparently, his boss had a creepy crush on me and would give my boyfriend bonuses for bringing me to company events and, occasionally, out on the boss's personal boat. Looks like I am no longer useful. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34917) - you totally deserved it (1400)
On 08/17/2009 at 1:43am - love - by TrophyGirlfriend (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting pretty hot and heavy, and then he said, "Lets pretend you are someone else." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39197) - you totally deserved it (3021)
On 08/17/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by somebodyelse (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was desperate to teach my 2-year old to use her potty. I had to pee, and thought maybe she would learn by watching me use it. Everything was going well, until I realized that I had a long pee. So long that it overfilled her potty all over. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8575) - you totally deserved it (37766)
On 08/16/2009 at 5:05pm - kids - by Overflow (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was with her. No, let me correct myself. Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was in her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49389) - you totally deserved it (6533)
On 08/16/2009 at 2:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I got a paper cut while opening my box of Band-Aids. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35810) - you totally deserved it (5774)
On 08/16/2009 at 3:05am - health - by irony (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I finished writing the most perfect love letter for this girl at summer school. At the end of the letter I signed: Your secret admirer. Cute, right? Not really. Turns out I was so anxious to finish the letter that I ended up writing my name at the bottom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6679) - you totally deserved it (31394)
On 08/16/2009 at 1:17am - love - by footyfallout (man) - Canada (Quebec)
