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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I woke up after a night out drinking on my sofa, with an electric dog collar around my neck and handcuffs on my wrists. The keys were on the other side of the invisible doggy fence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9718) - you deserved it (24911)
On 02/28/2011 at 8:10pm - health - by stupiddrunk (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my boyfriend tickled me. In between laughs, I warned him that I was going to pee myself. He didn't believe me. After I actually did, he suggested we use a "safety word" from now on so that he will know when I'm being serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18183) - you deserved it (3044)
On 01/23/2011 at 9:47pm - misc - by embarrassed2 (woman) - United States
Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10123) - you deserved it (26215) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, I asked my girlfriend's father if I could marry his daughter. He smiled, shook my hand, and said "No, now get out of my house." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32078) - you deserved it (3170)
On 10/07/2010 at 10:26am - love - by Vinny1017 - United States (New York)
Today, I was watching tv with my grandpa, and he stops flipping channels on a movie with a hot naked chick getting oiled down. Suddenly the remote lands on my stomach as my mom and grandma walk in the door. They yelled at me for being a pervert for an hour, while my grandpa sat and chuckled. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27533) - you deserved it (2970)
On 09/24/2010 at 6:22am - misc - by Andrew - United States (Indiana)
Today, I went to my parents' place to visit. My ex-boyfriend's photo is on the fridge, but there aren't any photos of my husband or any of our wedding photos. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21186) - you deserved it (1713)
On 09/23/2010 at 5:59am - misc - by annoyed - United States (California)
Today, someone whistled, so I turned around. The guy behind me then said: "Did you seriously think that it was meant for you?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (26719) - you deserved it (3163)
On 09/12/2010 at 10:04am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)
Today, at work, a little girl was misbehaving. Her dad told her that she would look like me when she grows up. The little girl look horrified while Daddy laughed and kept reassuring her he was "just kidding." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23533) - you deserved it (2157)
On 09/04/2010 at 2:52am - misc - by Black Cat 13 (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I found out that my brother is engaged to marry an ex-girlfriend of mine. This comes almost two months after my brother divorced ANOTHER ex-girlfriend of mine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29085) - you deserved it (2044)
On 08/24/2010 at 8:19am - love - by groomsman (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my family and I watched Madagascar 2. When we got to the part where Gloria the hippopotamus is praised for her chunkyness, my little sister looked at me and said, "If you were a hippo, maybe then you would get a date." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24703) - you deserved it (5128)
On 08/03/2010 at 6:37pm - misc - by fatty - United States (New York)
Today, I was woken up at 3:00 am to the sound of a tape recording of a baby crying, loudly. This has been going on for 3 nights, non stop. Why? because I brought up the subject of having a baby with my wife. Clearly, you can see where she stands. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26567) - you deserved it (8492)
On 08/01/2010 at 4:45am - kids - by kfoehslfns - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was walking towards a group of guys playing basketball, who stopped and stared at me while saying, "Daaaamn..." As I passed them, one of them said, "She looked hotter from a distance." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25004) - you deserved it (3392)
On 07/27/2010 at 3:46am - misc - by Marie - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my boyfriend came over while I was babysitting my little brother. He wouldn't stay in bed, so my boyfriend told him,"If you don't stay in bed, the monster will eat you!" I now have to wash my brother's bedsheets, because he was too afraid to get up and go pee. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19226) - you deserved it (7342)
On 07/25/2010 at 7:21pm - kids - by animelover (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, while lifeguarding, I saw someone in the wave-pool who appeared to be drowning. So, I jumped in to attempt to save him. Turns out he wasn't drowning, he only had one arm. He yelled at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24106) - you deserved it (3167)
On 07/22/2010 at 10:48am - work - by GuardOtto - United States
Today, my kids surprised me when I got home. One of them played the Rocky theme song on the stereo, and the other came up to me and said, "Daddy, let's go. We need you to drop about 15 pounds before you appear in front of all of our friends at our play." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21433) - you deserved it (5515)
On 07/19/2010 at 9:59am - kids - by Cody (man) - United States (Florida)
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