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Offline (the 01/26/2015 at 3:29am) | Search for a member
About JoseIsAdork : I'm a really laid back guy, I laugh and joke a lot and unless its absolutely necessary then I try not to be overly serious about things. life is too short to not enjoy our time here. I love reading all the FML's and such so I'm on here a ton. I'm a coffee addict, certified nerd, zombie extraordinaire, love video games, music of all sorts. I love dogs and just about any animals. pizza is my food of choice haha. feel free to send me a message and say hello if you want to!
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Today, I farted so loudly I not only woke myself up, but my husband as well. He mistook my gas for someone trying to break in and insisted on checking the whole house. I was too embarrassed to tell him the truth. FML
Today, I was walking home from work, when I slipped and fell on a patch of ice. I clambered back to my feet, made it three feet, then slipped and fell again. A guy who'd witnessed the whole thing stuck his head out of his car window and yelled "Dumbasssssss!" FML
Today, I found out that the generous gift from my boyfriend of a new iPhone was only given so he could use the "find my phone" function to make sure I'm always where I say I am each day. I'm being stalked by my own boyfriend. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML
Today, I found a great recipe for dinner, and emailed it to myself with the subject "Dinner tonight". Hours later, I'd forgotten all about it, opened my emails, saw the subject line, and thought someone was asking me out to dinner. I got really excited until I saw the sender address. FML
Friday 22 May 2015