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JordanDempsey

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JordanDempsey

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 406
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

About JordanDempsey : Yup

JordanDempsey's page activity

Visits<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 12:49am<b>katiecakes13</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 7:31am<b>whoracle</b> - the 07/26/2013 at 4:19am<b>k_gils</b> - the 07/25/2013 at 9:12am<b>spazz666</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 10:47pm<b>miketopgunmike1</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 8:36pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 03/24/2013 at 11:20pm<b>AfroCircusMan</b> - the 03/24/2013 at 6:56pm<b>MacMonster</b> - the 03/24/2013 at 6:13pm<b>crackmore278</b> - the 03/24/2013 at 4:01pm

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JordanDempsey's favorite FMLs

Today, I went skinny-dipping with my friends. At one point, I jokingly pointed out how one of them had the smallest boobs of us all. She calmly got out of the pond, dried herself, scooped up our clothes and phones, and drove off in her car. The cops she called arrived soon after. FML

#20861665
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22208) - you deserved it (65256)

On 08/31/2013 at 12:25pm - misc - by criminal tit offender - United States (Alabama)

Today, I started doing it again. I'd given up for years, but when I saw the pack I just couldn't help myself. One taste was enough to make me finish off the whole pack. Nobody knows that I've fallen off the wagon and I'm so ashamed of myself. Today, I began eating my cat's biscuits again. FML

#20786268
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44237) - you deserved it (32372) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/16/2013 at 9:18am - health - by Aliiiice (woman) - France (Haute-Normandie)

Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML

#20731352
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68850) - you deserved it (3949)

On 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by hinting (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I woke up to find pieces of a dead spider stuck in my braces. FML

#20423697
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50386) - you deserved it (3530)

On 12/26/2012 at 2:30pm - misc - by gaggin - United States (California)

Today, because my boyfriend drives a 2-seated sports car, I had to awkwardly sit on his brother's lap as we drove to the store. I soon felt a poking sensation through his pants, just a few minutes before we hit a bumpy road. FML

#20414298
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48593) - you deserved it (6157)

On 12/22/2012 at 5:55pm - intimacy - by orgasmicriding (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, at a Christmas party, my crush came up to me and cutely pointed out that I was standing under mistletoe. The only response my stupid brain could think of was, "Probably full of nargles though." He gave me a confused look and walked away. FML

#20402533
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27082) - you deserved it (12838)

On 12/16/2012 at 6:51pm - love - by Rhine (woman) - Barbados (Saint Michael)

Today, I had to do a presentation in front of my entire school. I was very nervous, so I used the old trick of picturing everyone naked. Everyone then got a good view of my erection. FML

#20199177
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35103) - you deserved it (14548)

On 12/10/2012 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realized that sex with my husband has gotten so boring that I'd rather fake an orgasm than let him continue. FML

#20199068
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29385) - you deserved it (11188)

On 12/10/2012 at 1:37pm - intimacy - by hnickell93 - United States (California)

Today, I heard of an inevitable world-wide bacon shortage on the news. FML

#20089182
394 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27817) - you deserved it (4934)

On 09/26/2012 at 2:57am - misc - by bacon lovers worst nightmare - United States (California)

Today, I discovered the crunching noise your foot will make if you accidentally drop a cement block on it. FML

#20011651
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26543) - you deserved it (2507)

On 08/09/2012 at 3:33pm - health - by flatfoot - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML

#19511225
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20784) - you deserved it (2236)

On 04/22/2012 at 1:12pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be a good idea to viciously rip off my thong. My ass crack is numb. FML

#18071770
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30775) - you deserved it (6879)

On 10/25/2011 at 12:08pm - intimacy - by beccav23 - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized burying my dog underneath our swing-set was a bad idea. My two sons are now scarred for life. FML

#17364695
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7962) - you deserved it (44312)

On 08/04/2011 at 6:19am - kids - by Bobsaget00 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I walked in on my brother performing voodoo on a doll with my picture taped to its face. FML

#17317953
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30871) - you deserved it (4434)

On 07/31/2011 at 5:05am - misc - by brebre101 - Canada

Today, I shat out a staple. FML

#16576766
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37469) - you deserved it (16311)

On 06/09/2011 at 11:04am - health - by wtf - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)



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