Jordan740

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Jordan740

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 10 July 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 500
  • Number of comments : 41
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Jordan740's page activity

Visits<b>lutessiarose</b> - the 10/20/2016 at 6:32pm<b>Rich531</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 8:38pm<b>Allornone</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 5:50pm<b>Defalt</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 12:03pm<b>kindasortayeah</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 11:31pm<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 6:22pm<b>ComradeNeal</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 3:42pm<b>rabbi1010</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 10:58am<b>ThunderTheRad</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 10:06pm<b>billionair11</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 10:54pm<b>why_teh_hell</b> - the 12/23/2013 at 3:40am<b>elfsmh</b> - the 08/16/2013 at 4:51am<b>losername77</b> - the 07/04/2013 at 1:24am<b>UnoriGal</b> - the 06/29/2013 at 3:51pm<b>exotic_sone</b> - the 06/23/2013 at 9:00pm<b>gmian</b> - the 02/08/2013 at 10:40am<b>a7xbud</b> - the 01/14/2013 at 11:04pm<b>FinJage</b> - the 01/07/2013 at 4:40pm

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Jordan740's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to be cute by sitting on top of my boyfriend's belly. While getting on top, I accidentally kneed him in his nuts. In pain, he jolted his head up and ended up banging his head against mine. Now I have a black eye and he can't walk without waddling. FML

by Anonymous / 12/30/2012 at 3:29am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my cat went into labor. This is surprising since 6 years ago, we paid to have her spayed. FML

by Anonymous / 11/22/2012 at 8:34pm / United States (Alabama) / Animals

Today, I went to see my favorite band. It was all amazing and great until I decided to go crowd surfing. I was maybe too heavy because people jumped away instead of catching me. I fell right on my tailbone. FML

by lekijkerd / 11/17/2012 at 8:56am / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Health

Today, I paid a surprise visit to my parents, after having moved out for university last year. My room had been stripped bare and all the family photos featuring me were missing from the wall. When I asked why, my mom asked me in return why I was asking stupid questions. FML

by jan420 / 11/09/2012 at 5:03pm / Norway (Ostfold) / Kids

Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML

by Anonymous / 09/09/2012 at 8:03am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that two kids were able to, without much effort, convince my 16-year-old daughter that her friend's house was used to smuggle out Jews during WWII. His house was built in 2007. We also live in America. FML

by Jessica / 08/21/2012 at 4:21am / United States / Kids

Today, I invited my girlfriend over to a family lunch, planning to propose to her at just the right moment. My family was in on it, including my apparently disapproving mom, who kept causing a scene to grab my girlfriend's attention every time I went to pull out the ring. FML

by jake / 08/12/2012 at 11:49am / United States (Oregon) / Love

Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML

by Anonymous / 08/09/2012 at 10:26am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend told me she was over her addiction and wished to quit cold turkey. I cancelled all my plans to stay home and support her. She didn't mean her tobacco addiction, no no. Her corn chip addiction. FML

by Spockx / 08/06/2012 at 7:20am / New Zealand (Waikato) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally met my daughter's boyfriend. He has a face tattoo. FML

by Anonymous / 07/28/2012 at 12:02pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally met my daughter's boyfriend. He has a face tattoo. FML

by Anonymous / 07/28/2012 at 12:02pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized my boyfriend uses sex as a way to get me to stop talking. FML

by zstarr / 07/14/2012 at 7:15am / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, I fell down my stairs while holding a carton of eggs I was going to use to egg my ex-boyfriend's house. Karma's definitely a bitch to me. FML

by FuckYou / 07/02/2012 at 2:07am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was trying to put some new curtains up. I couldn't make sense of the instructions, so I decided to wing it. I spent a frustrating half hour fighting with it, and just seconds after I succeeded, the curtain rod gave way and slammed straight onto my head. FML

by Anonymous / 06/29/2012 at 6:46pm / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was watching a movie alone, after receiving a text from my boyfriend saying that his grandma was at the hospital, so he couldn't go with me. I caught him on a date with another girl, at the same movie screening that I went to. FML

by singlesummer / 06/25/2012 at 4:32am / United States (California) / Love