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Today, I tried to be cute by sitting on top of my boyfriend's belly. While getting on top, I accidentally kneed him in his nuts. In pain, he jolted his head up and ended up banging his head against mine. Now I have a black eye and he can't walk without waddling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14306) - you deserved it (28128)
On 12/30/2012 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my cat went into labor. This is surprising since 6 years ago, we paid to have her spayed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17470) - you deserved it (1089)
On 11/22/2012 at 8:34pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)
Today, I went to see my favorite band. It was all amazing and great until I decided to go crowd surfing. I was maybe too heavy because people jumped away instead of catching me. I fell right on my tailbone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4991) - you deserved it (18254)
On 11/17/2012 at 8:56am - health - by lekijkerd - Netherlands (Utrecht)
Today, I paid a surprise visit to my parents, after having moved out for university last year. My room had been stripped bare and all the family photos featuring me were missing from the wall. When I asked why, my mom asked me in return why I was asking stupid questions. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14613) - you deserved it (1135)
On 11/09/2012 at 5:03pm - kids - by jan420 (man) - Norway (Ostfold)
Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16794) - you deserved it (4076)
On 09/09/2012 at 8:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, I found out that two kids were able to, without much effort, convince my 16-year-old daughter that her friend's house was used to smuggle out Jews during WWII. His house was built in 2007. We also live in America. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17303) - you deserved it (2004)
On 08/21/2012 at 4:21am - kids - by Jessica (woman) - United States
Today, I invited my girlfriend over to a family lunch, planning to propose to her at just the right moment. My family was in on it, including my apparently disapproving mom, who kept causing a scene to grab my girlfriend's attention every time I went to pull out the ring. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20471) - you deserved it (1666)
On 08/12/2012 at 11:49am - love - by jake (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13942) - you deserved it (2257)
On 08/09/2012 at 10:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my girlfriend told me she was over her addiction and wished to quit cold turkey. I cancelled all my plans to stay home and support her. She didn't mean her tobacco addiction, no no. Her corn chip addiction. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15280) - you deserved it (1928)
On 08/06/2012 at 7:20am - misc - by Spockx - New Zealand (Waikato)
Today, I finally met my daughter's boyfriend. He has a face tattoo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23137) - you deserved it (4560)
On 07/28/2012 at 12:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I finally met my daughter's boyfriend. He has a face tattoo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23137) - you deserved it (4560)
On 07/28/2012 at 12:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I realized my boyfriend uses sex as a way to get me to stop talking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8754) - you deserved it (18854)
On 07/14/2012 at 7:15am - intimacy - by zstarr - United States (Georgia)
Today, I fell down my stairs while holding a carton of eggs I was going to use to egg my ex-boyfriend's house. Karma's definitely a bitch to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5095) - you deserved it (33957)
On 07/02/2012 at 2:07am - misc - by FuckYou - United States (California)
Today, I was trying to put some new curtains up. I couldn't make sense of the instructions, so I decided to wing it. I spent a frustrating half hour fighting with it, and just seconds after I succeeded, the curtain rod gave way and slammed straight onto my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9125) - you deserved it (9735)
On 06/29/2012 at 6:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Canterbury)
Today, I was watching a movie alone, after receiving a text from my boyfriend saying that his grandma was at the hospital, so he couldn't go with me. I caught him on a date with another girl, at the same movie screening that I went to. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29631) - you deserved it (1518)
On 06/25/2012 at 4:32am - love - by singlesummer - United States (California)
Sunday 12 May 2013
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