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Jonny_Blaze0017

Offline (23 hours ago) | Search for a member

Jonny_Blaze0017

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 3 October 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7520
  • Number of comments : 35
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Jonny_Blaze0017 : Life is a gift; that must be why we live in the present
Also- remember to laugh every once in awhile


Jonny_Blaze0017's page activity

Visits<b>Giraffalopagus</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 7:16am<b>lovebugs7204</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 11:53am<b>BlackFire4890</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 11:22pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 1:10pm<b>rebelsrock</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 8:30pm<b>pkts11</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 12:03pm<b>Fierce_Cat_</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 11:48am<b>andiiibandiii526</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 12:23pm<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 1:07pm<b>shaar</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 3:24am<b>Welshite</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 11:06pm<b>jack_jill05</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 9:53am<b>da_best_eva</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 8:30pm<b>sar135</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 8:16am<b>msmama1985</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 7:42pm<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 10:55pm<b>OysterPearls</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 2:48am<b>teotsi</b> - the 04/04/2014 at 2:34pm

Jonny_Blaze0017's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of Jonny_Blaze0017's badges

Jonny_Blaze0017's favorite FMLs

Today, I sat a client down for his haircut. He pulled off his hat and his hair was dripping wet. I asked him if he had just washed it. He responded, "No, but isn't it a hot day out?" No, it's twenty degrees and overcast today. FML

#8336543
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24164) - you deserved it (2145)

On 02/16/2010 at 11:35am - work - by kennarama (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I got called out of class to talk to some cops. Turns out my car was involved in a hit and run accident, while I was in school and there was no possible way it could have been me. But since they have no one else, it's my fault. FML

#8031380
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31628) - you deserved it (1956)

On 02/08/2010 at 10:29pm - misc - by sweeeeet (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. As I was beginning to enjoy and really get into it, I heard him say, "Oh my god, this is good shit." I looked up sexily, only to find that he was eating a Twinkie. FML

#7339757
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29196) - you deserved it (5180)

On 01/14/2010 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by scubai (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while at work at a maternity and baby clothes store, I was supposed to send out an email about our "Beat the Clock" sale. After it was sent to over 500 people, I realized that I'd misspelled the subject line. It read, "Beat the Cock Sale." FML

#7336635
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12401) - you deserved it (29316)

On 01/14/2010 at 10:55am - work - by Oops (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, some drunk dude broke into my house while my parents were out. Scared, I asked him what he wanted, his response was "cookies." FML

#7264308
184 comments

Today, I was wearing a shirt that had a picture of a squirrel and acorns with a caption reading "Protect Your Nuts". My dad walked up to me, read my shirt, then punched me in the balls. FML

#7227808
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10509) - you deserved it (38422)

On 01/09/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by squirrel (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, the police stopped me for "driving irresponsibly" in the snowy conditions. After the 'lecture', they went to pull off in their Ford Focus Estate. Managing to go forward, they then hit a patch of ice and slid back. Instead of breaking or turning, they let it slide back into the front of my car. FML

Today, I entered my bedroom, ready to play some COD on my xbox 360. Instead, I find a note where my xbox used to be. It read "You think you can cheat on me and get away with it? Fuck you. I smashed the hell out of your stupid xbox." It was signed by my girlfriend. I never cheated on her. FML

#7185908
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35779) - you deserved it (2975)

On 01/06/2010 at 7:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I was on Facebook when I saw a link about what Pokémon would look like if they had genitals. I'm not quite sure why, but I decided to click it, and at that exact moment, my brother and his friend walked in. They told my mom I was looking at Pokémon porn. I'll never be able to live this down. FML

#7124750
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9765) - you deserved it (24117)

On 01/03/2010 at 11:40am - intimacy - by grounded (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, I was awakened from a peaceful sleep by my crazy ex-girlfriend, who apparently copied my key before our break up three months ago. She was on top of me, stroking my beard, whispering: “He looks like Jesus.” FML

#6842444
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40229) - you deserved it (3188)

On 12/20/2009 at 3:47am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was taking the final exam for one of my classes. The teacher came over to my desk, grabbed my test and ripped it in half. Then he grabbed my hand and read the note I had written on it to remind myself to pay rent. FML

#6752587
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40098) - you deserved it (5985)

On 12/14/2009 at 2:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I checked into my flight early. The kiosk asked me if I wanted an earlier flight for $50. Awesome. I swiped my card then continued to the next screen where I was informed my new flight was delayed to the same time as my original flight. FML

#6751982
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33143) - you deserved it (5338)

On 12/14/2009 at 1:08pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my roommate came in slamming the front door. I guess he doesn't know that you can't throw hot water on frozen windows. He came up all pissed and called his insurance because he cracked the windshield. We have the same car, in the same exact color. Turns out he threw the water on mine. FML

#6705555
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31097) - you deserved it (2621)

On 12/11/2009 at 3:32am - misc - by Sous_Chef (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was doing a study on homeless people and how they manage to stay alive on the streets. Turns out the one I was studying today was given more money than I make in a week. FML

#6705143
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27943) - you deserved it (2539)

On 12/11/2009 at 2:23am - money - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my mom admitted that her story about my dad leaving us for his current wife was a lie. He left when he caught her with a coworker. She blocked his number and got a restraining order to keep him from telling his side of the story. I haven't talked to my dad for six years because of this. FML

#6590388
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49960) - you deserved it (2162)

On 12/03/2009 at 9:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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