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Jonny_Blaze0017

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Jonny_Blaze0017
  • Town/Country : Atlanta, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1263
  • Number of comments : 34
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Jonny_Blaze0017 : Life is a gift; that must be why we live in the present
Also- remember to laugh every once in awhile


P.S.- I'm not the one on the left

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Jonny_Blaze0017's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at Walmart with my mom, when a guy next to me let out a series of vicious farts. Assuming it was me, my mom chewed me out in front of the guy and made me apologize. The man looked at my mom and said, "Children, they're so immature." FML

#16237035
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39570) - you deserved it (3264)

On 05/18/2011 at 12:08pm - misc - by nicknick2 (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I spilt a very hot cup of tea all over a burn I got yesterday from spilling a very hot cup of tea. FML

#16204397
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17912) - you deserved it (34433)

On 05/16/2011 at 10:28am - health - by foolmetwice (woman) -

Today, my boyfriend came home from a camping trip and broke up with me. All because when he was watching the lake he was near, ripples formed. Apparently, this means God was telling him I'm impure and unable to be "saved by Christ" and therefore, a waste of his time. I dated this lunatic. FML

#16148221
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32316) - you deserved it (7668)

On 05/12/2011 at 7:34pm - love - by dammitvasquez - Canada

Today, I discovered what it feels like to get a ruptured sinus. More specifically, I discovered what it feels like to get a ruptured sinus from being hit in the face by a pigeon that was deflected from the windscreen of a van moving at about 35mph. FML

#16131734
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27002) - you deserved it (2343)

On 05/11/2011 at 5:17pm - health - by pigeons_suck (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I puked up a centipede. FML

#16126004
249 comments

Today, I saw a car swerving in front of me on the freeway, so I whipped out my cell to report the DUI. As soon as it started ringing, I see police lights in my rear view and got slapped with a ticket for using a cell phone while driving. After explaining why, the officer said, "Nice try." FML

#16028485
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23624) - you deserved it (24164)

On 05/03/2011 at 1:22am - misc - by AE86Turbo (man) - United States (California)

Today, I grabbed my t-shirt off the floor beside the bed and got up to walk my boyfriends dog. After several trips around the block and plenty of strange looks I got back upstairs and saw the used condom stuck to my sleeve from the night before. FML

#16000939
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13642) - you deserved it (39324)

On 05/01/2011 at 4:20am - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, I dreamed that I was kidnapped by Charlie Sheen. FML

#15912541
302 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28588) - you deserved it (10820)

On 04/24/2011 at 9:10pm - misc - by woahitbechels - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I promised my boyfriend a blow job every time he does the dishes. Every dish in the house has been washed three times already. FML

#15718627
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17012) - you deserved it (60919)

On 04/10/2011 at 1:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I finally confessed my feelings to my long time crush. He was the only one I've been able to muster up the courage to open up to. He replied "lmao" and hasn't texted back since. FML

#15700119
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31637) - you deserved it (5922)

On 04/08/2011 at 9:39pm - love - by notfunny - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML

#15627116
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45548) - you deserved it (13566)

On 04/03/2011 at 9:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML

#15627116
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45548) - you deserved it (13566)

On 04/03/2011 at 9:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML

#15514877
356 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39783) - you deserved it (27805)

On 03/27/2011 at 2:09pm - misc - by rowie1311 (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I annoyed my friend by texting him 'meow' over and over at random times of the day because when he's drunk he meows in his sleep. Apparently a great way to get back at me was to tell my parents I wasn't a virgin and that I got high on Wednesday. He had pictures to prove it for both. FML

#15442777
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20632) - you deserved it (60170)

On 03/23/2011 at 12:40am - intimacy - by Fcuked (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was driving home at night, and got into an accident. Someone had left a toilet in the middle of the road. I hit it. The toilet's fine, but my car now has a toilet-shaped dent in the front. FML

#15431465
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30062) - you deserved it (5664)

On 03/22/2011 at 1:10pm - misc - by jballer - United States (Massachusetts)



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