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Jonny_Blaze0017

Offline (22 hours ago) | Search for a member

Jonny_Blaze0017

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 3 October 1993 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 9459
  • Number of comments : 35
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Jonny_Blaze0017 : Laughter is healing, so make sure you have an outlet to relieve stress


Jonny_Blaze0017's page activity

Visits<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 6:37pm<b>mf727hihi</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 3:00pm<b>orios105</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 1:24am<b>ohmissjane</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 5:29am<b>afisxfallxchild</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 1:54pm<b>jet223</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 8:57pm<b>Toonice45</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 11:03pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 1:10pm<b>TrippingOnAcid</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 4:15pm<b>Idekanymore123</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 7:05pm<b>CREA</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 8:14pm<b>AyeTee77</b> - the 09/04/2015 at 1:30am<b>jjeffriesftw</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 6:06pm<b>Giraffalopagus</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 7:16am<b>lovebugs7204</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 11:53am<b>BlackFire4890</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 11:22pm<b>rebelsrock</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 8:30pm<b>pkts11</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 12:03pm

Fucked!<b>jjeffriesftw</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 12:06am

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Jonny_Blaze0017's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to bail on yet another date with an awesome guy. Every time I make a date, my hateful mother slips laxatives into my food so I'm glued to the shitter until 2am. This is the fourth time. FML

#20031010
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35532) - you deserved it (3917)

On 08/19/2012 at 11:53pm - love - by Lauren - United States (Iowa)

Today, as I was riding my bike, my foot slipped and I did a slow speed-tumble over the top, ripping my balls wide open. Number of stitches: too many to count. Size of balls: softball. Color: blue. FML

#20027548
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41883) - you deserved it (2500)

On 08/18/2012 at 1:15am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my new boss, the CEO's son, finally showed up for work, three days late and right after lunch break. His first order of business was to call a meeting and scream at everyone for not having a diet latte waiting for him on his desk. God help us all. FML

#20013987
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30990) - you deserved it (1658)

On 08/10/2012 at 7:16pm - work - by SHIIIIITTTT (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom called me screaming and cussing because she found pot in my room. I come home and my dad says, "I hid some pot in your room and I'm not letting you go to that concert if you rat me out." My dad is apparently a blackmailing 52-year-old stoner. FML

#20006521
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32180) - you deserved it (2048)

On 08/06/2012 at 9:40pm - misc - by Joe Lizen - United States (Illinois)

Today, my dad was making coffee for the family. Half-way through, he excused himself to the bathroom, so for a laugh, I discreetly poured a load of salt into his drink. When he served us, I drank a mouthful and doubled over hacking. My dad barked, "I wasn't born yesterday, son." FML

#19937636
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6649) - you deserved it (52268)

On 07/14/2012 at 4:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Nigeria (Lagos)

Today, I realized my boyfriend uses sex as a way to get me to stop talking. FML

#19936379
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14593) - you deserved it (30988)

On 07/14/2012 at 7:15am - intimacy - by zstarr - United States (Georgia)

Today, I sold yet another £100 bottle of lotion to a stuck-up teenage fashionista with less brain-power than the yapping bastard of a dog she carried in her arms. She did nothing but brag the whole time about her jewelry, and openly mocked me for only making minimum wage. FML

#19933084
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29695) - you deserved it (2712)

On 07/13/2012 at 3:08pm - work - by fucking pissants (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I'm having heart surgery. The doc came in, donut in one hand and papers in another. While I was filling them out, his hands kept trembling, and he dropped the donut on the floor. He fumbled to pick it up and kept eating. The guy I'm entrusting my life to doesn't even respect the five-second rule. FML

#19914869
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28470) - you deserved it (2302)

On 07/09/2012 at 2:25pm - health - by deadman (man) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

Today, I watched as my dad noticed a spider on the ceiling. Instead of getting a shoe, he pulled out a 9mm and shot it. I'm not sure if this is an epic win or a sign that my family is crazy. FML

#19903364
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34080) - you deserved it (4021)

On 07/07/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by kalikanna - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I sneezed my jaw out of socket. Yes, this is possible. FML

#19899616
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32189) - you deserved it (2089)

On 07/06/2012 at 11:03am - misc - by hotpatata - United States

Today, I was walking in Walmart with my dad. We walked past the deodorant aisle. My dad said, "Need any deodorant?" I said, "No thanks." He replied, "That was a hint." FML

#19898795
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10869) - you deserved it (31252)

On 07/06/2012 at 2:52am - misc - by CanadianTwin - Canada (Alberta)

Today, at a job interview, my interviewer bent forward and I admired his ass. When he turned, I couldn't tell if he caught me or not. At the end of the interview he shook my hand in congratulations of getting the job, then said "Yes, I do work out." I have to see him everyday now. FML

#19848904
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10530) - you deserved it (30679)

On 06/26/2012 at 2:18am - work - by cmck932012 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out from her teacher that my daughter in kindergarten gets the little boys in her class to play grown-ups with her. It's basically dry humping and groaning. FML

#19822134
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33421) - you deserved it (9100)

On 06/21/2012 at 1:40am - kids - by Bad Mommy - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my wife and two teenage daughters' periods are all one week after the other. I am living in hell almost every single day. FML

#19786572
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37322) - you deserved it (4478)

On 06/14/2012 at 10:54am - misc - by anonymous - China (Jiangsu)

Today, a man on the bus questioned my sexuality for being a male nurse. I asked him what he did and he said he worked in a garage. When I pointed out that I work with sexy nurses all day and he works with sweaty guys, he punched me in the stomach. FML

#19743527
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39979) - you deserved it (6288)

On 06/06/2012 at 10:19am - misc - by Bishop (man) -



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