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Jonny_Blaze0017

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Jonny_Blaze0017

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2238
  • Number of comments : 35
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Jonny_Blaze0017 : Life is a gift; that must be why we live in the present
Also- remember to laugh every once in awhile


P.S.- I'm not the one on the left

Jonny_Blaze0017's page activity

Visits<b>da_best_eva</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 8:30pm<b>sar135</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 8:16am<b>msmama1985</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 7:42pm<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 10:55pm<b>OysterPearls</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 2:48am<b>teotsi</b> - the 04/04/2014 at 2:34pm<b>Reggaman</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 6:36am<b>vickypumkin</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 6:33am<b>sdroze1389</b> - the 02/05/2014 at 10:15am<b>username71</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 11:28pm<b>Palindromesque</b> - the 12/17/2013 at 6:31am<b>i_love_him_</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 4:48pm<b>miiapaige</b> - the 11/23/2013 at 10:20pm<b>xXNerrrdXx</b> - the 11/23/2013 at 1:21am<b>omgbrainZ</b> - the 11/22/2013 at 2:45pm<b>Afroninja4566</b> - the 11/20/2013 at 6:03am<b>0void0</b> - the 11/18/2013 at 7:23am<b>dieselfreak123</b> - the 11/17/2013 at 10:06pm

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Jonny_Blaze0017's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife caught me masturbating to porn. She screamed at me and asked why I would be masturbating when I had her to have sex with. So I asked if she wanted to have sex, she said no. FML

#18108392
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39590) - you deserved it (22567)

On 10/30/2011 at 1:31am - intimacy - by Korisite - United States

Today, I was bitched out by my 17 year old son's teacher. It seems the idiot teacher made the kids advocate for his own political beliefs in a presentation, and my son ended his speech saying, "And it remains my opinion that our instructor is cramping my motherfucking style." Instant suspension. FML

#18095977
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26388) - you deserved it (4892)

On 10/28/2011 at 11:52am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to the hospital with severe chest pain, thinking it was a heart attack. Turns out now I just can't have booze, pop, chocolate, fruit with skins, seeds, tomatoes, or mint. I'd rather have the heart attack. FML

#18058320
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26406) - you deserved it (3515)

On 10/23/2011 at 9:37pm - health - by heartsick (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, while performing a rectal exam on my female patient, I inadvertently said, "Okay, you're going to feel some pleasure now." I meant "pressure". Her husband was in the room. FML

#18014569
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41649) - you deserved it (8477)

On 10/18/2011 at 11:01am - intimacy - by imy - United States (Texas)

Today, my brother put pepper spray on my toilet paper. FML

#17987492
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42116) - you deserved it (3469)

On 10/15/2011 at 3:18am - misc - by Ca13b - United States (Oregon)

Today, I pulled into the gas station to fill up only to realize I had forgot my wallet. By the time I went home, got it, and came back, the price had gone up eleven cents. FML

#17969396
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33366) - you deserved it (4277)

On 10/12/2011 at 6:47pm - money - by WhoopteeDooDoo (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was driving my eight year-old son to school when a guy cut me off, prompting me to yell "douche bag" as a reflex out of the window. Realizing my mistake, I turned to my son and told him to never, ever talk like that. His response was, "Too late, douche bag." FML

#17966458
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11701) - you deserved it (41547)

On 10/12/2011 at 8:37am - kids - by John W. (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML

#17953738
432 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34385) - you deserved it (24565)

On 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my dad came to confiscate my phone. I stuck it in between my boobs so he wouldn't be able to see it. He said, "Honey, your breasts aren't big enough to hide that." FML

#17935197
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14064) - you deserved it (39104)

On 10/08/2011 at 1:03pm - misc - by G - United States (California)

Today, I saw my co-worker sneeze into his palm, get up, walk to my desk and smear his hand all over my computer mouse. He then went back to his desk and continued with his work. Last week we had a workplace awareness meeting about my OCD and fear of germs. FML

#17837739
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28168) - you deserved it (6055)

On 09/26/2011 at 6:37am - work - by gotanewmouse - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, out of my bedroom window, I can see my next door neighbour's window. On his ledge, I can see binoculars, tissues and vaseline. FML

#17818557
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42783) - you deserved it (4359)

On 09/24/2011 at 3:22am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was in class and really needed to pee. My teacher has chosen to replace our hall pass with a copy of War and Peace. She picks out a page for us to memorise on the shitter, and repeat by heart later. If we can't remember, we get locked out of class, and then get detention for being absent. FML

#17789217
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32502) - you deserved it (2883)

On 09/20/2011 at 5:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I received an email from my boyfriend. It contained a link to a site that was titled "How to Give Head". It also said "Have a nice day!" FML

#17688076
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25048) - you deserved it (6895)

On 09/07/2011 at 12:16pm - intimacy - by thismakesmesad (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I got my first handjob. She ripped out a pube. It hurt so bad my eyes teared up. She asked what was wrong and not wanting to make her feel guilty I had to tell her it was "Just so good." FML

#17659578
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35901) - you deserved it (9394)

On 09/04/2011 at 5:36am - intimacy - by southernluxe - United States

Today, my best friend and I were playing Call of Duty, when he said he had to go to the bathroom. Curious, I checked his phone. A text message read, "Tell your friend you're going to the bathroom and come eat. Pizza is here." from his dad. Apparently, I'm not good enough to feed. FML

#17657818
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34291) - you deserved it (7077)

On 09/04/2011 at 12:16am - misc - by Pizza-less - United States (Washington)



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