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Jonny_Blaze0017

Offline (22 hours ago) | Search for a member

Jonny_Blaze0017

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 3 October 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7543
  • Number of comments : 35
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Jonny_Blaze0017 : Life is a gift; that must be why we live in the present
Also- remember to laugh every once in awhile


Jonny_Blaze0017's page activity

Visits<b>Giraffalopagus</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 7:16am<b>lovebugs7204</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 11:53am<b>BlackFire4890</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 11:22pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 1:10pm<b>rebelsrock</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 8:30pm<b>pkts11</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 12:03pm<b>Fierce_Cat_</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 11:48am<b>andiiibandiii526</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 12:23pm<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 1:07pm<b>shaar</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 3:24am<b>Welshite</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 11:06pm<b>jack_jill05</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 9:53am<b>da_best_eva</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 8:30pm<b>sar135</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 8:16am<b>msmama1985</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 7:42pm<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 10:55pm<b>OysterPearls</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 2:48am<b>teotsi</b> - the 04/04/2014 at 2:34pm

Jonny_Blaze0017's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of Jonny_Blaze0017's badges

Jonny_Blaze0017's favorite FMLs

Today, I was visiting family in Oregon. I did not know it was illegal to pump your own gas; the cops were involved. FML

#20159952
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27923) - you deserved it (2264)

On 11/12/2012 at 1:14am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I delivered a pizza to a guy so high out of his mind that I had to let myself in and set it down on a table, because he'd forgotten how to walk, and was on the ground sobbing. FML

#20157750
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26917) - you deserved it (1942)

On 11/10/2012 at 4:14pm - misc - by anon - United States (Washington)

Today, dressed in my sexiest nightie, I asked my boyfriend in the most sensual voice possible what he'd like me do to for him tonight. His eyed widened, he started clapping wildly and then shrieked, "SPAGHETTI CARBONARA!" FML

#20142866
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24338) - you deserved it (4316) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/01/2012 at 7:48am - love - by Anonymous - France (Picardie)

Today, over a family dinner, my husband and I told everyone that I'm pregnant. My father frowned and said, "Again?", my 9-year-old daughter started crying, and her brother smirked and yelled, "Up the ass, no babies!" FML

#20136968
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23627) - you deserved it (5196)

On 10/28/2012 at 12:44pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I got fired from a job that I've had for four days for being too "secretive." Apparently, I was leaning over my notebook so that my boss couldn't stand behind me and read what I was writing. The email literally said I was "being too sneaky". They were work notes. FML

#20132367
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19700) - you deserved it (1593)

On 10/25/2012 at 2:59am - work - by TheHarvardian (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I went to the bar I've always gone to after work for the past 12 years. On arrival, I got banned for life, punched in the nose and thrown out. The barmaid comes out and says, "Sorry, wrong guy." FML

#20130988
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26492) - you deserved it (1619)

On 10/24/2012 at 6:51am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML

#20128322
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29936) - you deserved it (4538)

On 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm - kids - by thebeachisthatway (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my dad saw on TV that in some parts of Africa, it's not uncommon for people to attach make-shift flamethrowers to their cars to defend against carjackers. He's now lost his mind and is forcing me to help him put one together to scare off Jehovah's Witnesses. FML

#20124199
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17941) - you deserved it (2011)

On 10/19/2012 at 5:39pm - misc - by Watchtower? More like fortress. (man) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, my mom was feeling down, so I decided to buy her a gift. Knowing she likes lighthouses, I bought her a tiny one that plugs in and lights up. I brought it home, plugged it in, and when she saw me with it, she said, "Wipe that smirk off your face and get that junk out of here." FML

Today, while looking through the camera my boyfriend got me, I found a video of a girl giving him head. After screaming at him about it and breaking up with him, I realized the girl was a drunken me. FML

#20119129
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9912) - you deserved it (60150)

On 10/16/2012 at 1:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled home in nothing but his underwear and pink cowboy boots. He threw his hands in the air, yelled, "BOTTLE SIP BOTTLE GUZZLE," promptly threw up and passed out in it. FML

#20111636
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22518) - you deserved it (4009)

On 10/11/2012 at 2:59am - kids - by Failed Parent - United States

Today, I got a text message from my boss that read, "You've been very bad. Severe punishment is in order." I'm not sure whether I should be turned on or terrified. FML

#20110308
153 comments

Today, I went out and made build-a-bears that looked like my daughter and her new boyfriend. It turns out she had been insisting that I didn't for a good reason; upon sight of his, her boyfriend screamed and fled the house. Turns out he was nearly mauled to death by a bear. FML

#20108200
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15903) - you deserved it (28219)

On 10/08/2012 at 9:51pm - kids - by ScaryBears (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I discovered that my 12-year-old son has secretly been printing out and selling copies of the suggestive photos from my camera that I'd taken for my husband. He's been selling them to kids at school for a dollar each. FML

#20103277
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13250) - you deserved it (30297)

On 10/05/2012 at 7:02pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I woke up after having a nightmare that my girlfriend broke up with me. Needing reassurance, I told her about it. She became furious with me saying that she'd never do that and called me an "inconsiderate fucking bastard for even thinking that." Then she broke up with me. FML

#20101222
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28326) - you deserved it (3289)

On 10/04/2012 at 10:44am - love - by Dave (man) - United States



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