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Jonny_Blaze0017

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Jonny_Blaze0017
  • Town/Country : Atlanta, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1206
  • Number of comments : 34
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Jonny_Blaze0017 : Life is a gift; that must be why we live in the present
Also- remember to laugh every once in awhile


P.S.- I'm not the one on the left

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Jonny_Blaze0017's favorite FMLs

Today, I was shopping for tampons when a cute guy came over and gave me his number. He said, "Call me in 3 to 5 days." FML

#19263580
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32882) - you deserved it (5253)

On 03/12/2012 at 9:11am - misc - by Tristansefam1367 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I watched Gigli. FML

#19259305
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7077) - you deserved it (23180)

On 03/11/2012 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while my boyfriend and I were watching TV, I asked him if he loved me. He turned up the volume. FML

#19131070
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24345) - you deserved it (5929)

On 02/21/2012 at 1:03pm - love - by Djcc - United States

Today, the pervert in my computer class asked me if I "mowed my lawn." Not knowing this was a vaguely sexual term, I replied, "No, my dad does." FML

#18983166
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36922) - you deserved it (8388)

On 02/03/2012 at 9:47am - intimacy - by xX_nsn_Xx (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mother yelled at me for standing too close to the microwave. Her reason? The radiation was going to seep through, kill my sperm and cause cancer. FML

#18956163
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17876) - you deserved it (4275)

On 01/30/2012 at 9:34pm - misc - by dumb mother (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to explain to my husband why putting on dirty underwear after a shower defeats the purpose. We had this discussion in the middle of me giving him head. FML

#18858383
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25095) - you deserved it (8020)

On 01/20/2012 at 12:02am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, after sex, my boyfriend turned to me and said, "You know, sometimes, you look like Kevin Spacey." FML

#18832495
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19755) - you deserved it (2315)

On 01/17/2012 at 3:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Libyan Arab Jamahiriya

Today, I had to explain to my 65-year-old mother that it is inappropriate for her to walk around in front of me in her underwear. Her response? "Too bad." FML

#18821985
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14425) - you deserved it (9688)

On 01/16/2012 at 3:19am - misc - by appropriatepolice - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend stated that we should play a game where one person asks the other a question, and they answer it with a picture. I thought it sounded fun so I said yes. His first question was, "Do you shave your vagina?" FML

#18802490
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23093) - you deserved it (8033)

On 01/14/2012 at 1:52am - intimacy - by haggisbowl - United States

Today, I dove head-first underneath my garage door, narrowly missing both the sensor and the closing door, executing a perfect roll, and popping back up onto my feet unscathed. My smugness went through the floor as I remembered I'd left my keys back in the house. FML

#18798370
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16556) - you deserved it (11850)

On 01/13/2012 at 7:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Sweden (Jonkopings Lan)

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why having sex with him was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty Pringles can. FML

#18772275
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11658) - you deserved it (29001)

On 01/11/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by bunnyluver4545 - United States (Texas)

Today, I was surprised that my husband suggested we take a shower together to save water. He also suggested we should wear our bathing suits so we don't have to see each others "privates." FML

#18744255
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49251) - you deserved it (4207)

On 01/08/2012 at 7:24am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, while helping my father build a shelf, I suggested that we should probably use the instruction manual. He suggested I should probably shut the fuck up and do it his way. FML

#18738481
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24042) - you deserved it (13187)

On 01/07/2012 at 7:12pm - misc - by Jman6295 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was boarding a plane and an elderly woman asked if I could put her carry on into the overhead bin. Eager to help, I energetically lifted her bag up, and smacked her in the face with it. FML

#18722642
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24899) - you deserved it (5131)

On 01/06/2012 at 12:47am - misc - by plantfood - United States

Today, I got pulled over for a busted tail light. The officer gave me a warning and told me to fix it. Ten minutes later I was pulled over again for the same busted tail light by the same cop. This time he wrote me a ticket. FML

#18721494
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28547) - you deserved it (2906)

On 01/05/2012 at 11:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)



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