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JonesJanssen

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JonesJanssen
  • Town/Country : Salt Lake city, Utah, United States, UT
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 25 March 1996 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 793
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About JonesJanssen : I play guitar, piano, bass, drums and I sing...I like Nirvana, Elvis Presley, Johnny Cash, The Red Hot Chili Peppers, Modest Mouse, The Rolling Stones, Pink Floyd, The Doors, Explosions in the sky, The End Of The Ocean, Roger Waters, Deep Purple, Bob Dylan, Metallica, The Eagles, Boards Of Canada, Joan Jett, Marilyn Manson, Lynyrd Skynyrd, America, Brand New, Jim Morrison, Rod Stewart, The Who, The Velvet Underground & Nico, Linkin Park, Radiohead, Aerosmith, System of Down, Journey, Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix, Led Zeppelin, The Sex Pistols, Alan Jackson, Guns 'n' Roses, Pearl Jam, Oasis, Neil Young, U2, Coldplay, The Pineapple Thief, Eric Clapton, Creedence Clearwater Revival, The Pixies, Death Cab For Cutie, Warren Zevon, Eminem...My favourite TV shows are Californication, Beavis & Butthead, South park, Dr Who...My favourite books are: God hates us all, The virgin suicide, Sex drugs & chocolate...And yeah no one dies a virgin life fucks us all...

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JonesJanssen's favorite FMLs

Today, I put a picture of my cat on Facebook. A stranger sent me a message saying how "attractive" she was and that her eyes are "very seductive". So, basically, someone is trying to hit on my cat. FML

#20938804
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37209) - you deserved it (3883)

On 10/30/2013 at 3:03am - animals - by meow (woman) - United States

Today, I found out my 13-year-old daughter thinks the showerhead got her pregnant. FML

Today, I finally got to surprise my boyfriend with a birthday cake. I spent four days planning the perfect one. First thing he says? "Erm, you know I'm 32, right?" I got his age wrong. FML

#20937690
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27085) - you deserved it (30880)

On 10/29/2013 at 6:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, my girlfriend got a detention for public display of affection. We go to different schools. FML

#20937522
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50936) - you deserved it (3518)

On 10/29/2013 at 12:24am - love - by cmart_9 (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had to show my daughter where the USA is on a map. She's 17, and we live in the USA. FML

#20889279
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38990) - you deserved it (8812)

On 09/20/2013 at 6:45pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I realized that my boyfriend only has sex with me to get me to shut up. FML

#20827840
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39188) - you deserved it (16263)

On 08/08/2013 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by blissful oblivion (woman) - Trinidad and Tobago (Port-of-Spain)

Today, I actually had to explain to two of my friends that neither Alaska nor Nebraska are in Canada. I think I need new friends. FML

#20827400
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38123) - you deserved it (4369)

On 08/08/2013 at 2:52pm - misc - by ROBERT (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my girlfriend of 3 weeks gave me an ultimatum: marry her, or she kills herself. FML

#20814794
334 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65166) - you deserved it (5626)

On 08/01/2013 at 3:36am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found out that when I text my boyfriend, he isn't the one to read them. Instead, he pays his friend to "keep the bitch busy." FML

#20813368
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56630) - you deserved it (6007)

On 07/31/2013 at 12:49pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I had my first wet dream. I woke up sweating and soaking wet. Too bad I dreamed about having intense sex with a cardboard box. FML

#20813339
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49424) - you deserved it (7867)

On 07/31/2013 at 12:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Belgium (West-Vlaanderen)

Today, my father shot my fiancé. He's fine, but the wedding is off. FML

#20812145
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57185) - you deserved it (3613)

On 07/30/2013 at 8:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I noticed fraudulent charges made in Florida that nearly drained my bank account. After reporting the fraud to the bank, I returned home from a weekend away to find a note from my husband. He and his mistress have run off to Florida to start a life together, apparently at my expense. FML

#20810887
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49104) - you deserved it (2424)

On 07/30/2013 at 1:09am - money - by brokeandalone (woman) - United States

Today, while taking my boyfriend's virginity, he started moaning, "Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!" He then started crying and praying. FML

#20810724
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53658) - you deserved it (8454)

On 07/29/2013 at 11:43pm - intimacy - by JustSomeGuy - United States (Texas)

Today, I finished off the last of the BBQ chips in the house. When my 6-year-old sister found out about it, she started screaming, then pulled down her pants and peed on the kitchen floor. My parents, after witnessing the whole thing, bitched me out for upsetting her. FML

#20806438
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53571) - you deserved it (4113)

On 07/27/2013 at 2:31pm - kids - by poopiter (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went on a blind date that my friends set up. Not only did my date visibly recoil at the sight of me, she ended up trying to convince me that we're actually cousins. When I told her how absurd that was, she muttered "Fuck it" and left. FML

#20806263
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40437) - you deserved it (3133)

On 07/27/2013 at 12:30pm - love - by Anonycunt (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)



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