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Jondw

Offline (the 10/09/2014 at 1:01pm) | Search for a member

Jondw

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 7 November 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 208
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Jondw's page activity

Visits<b>Laxinitup</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 4:44pm<b>vballgirly28</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 7:52am<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 1:59pm<b>mea_iloveskiing</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 5:33pm

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Jondw's favorite FMLs

Today, my two-year-old daughter's favourite word is 'No'. After leaving her with my sixteen-year-old brother, she now knows other N words as well. Niet, Nein, Non and Never. Her teenage uncle thinks it's hilarious. FML

#21240415
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35289) - you deserved it (5639)

On 08/18/2014 at 9:26am - kids - by 919191 (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I finally brought a girl home from college. While I was making her some coffee, my roommate came down in her underwear, pretended to be my girlfriend, and asked if we were having a threesome. My date left before I could explain, and my roommate thinks it's fucking hilarious. FML

Today, I woke up to a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I jumped out of bed in panic and rushed into the bathroom, only to see my sister limping around in the nude. She'd just jumped out of the shower because someone had flushed the toilet downstairs. FML

#21135014
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35762) - you deserved it (3876)

On 05/09/2014 at 6:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - South Africa

Today, it's five days until my wedding and I still can't tell my bride apart from her twin sister. They share clothes, have the same haircut, and they even take turns flirting with me to "catch me off guard" because they think it's hilarious to trick me. I'm scared I'll marry the wrong one. FML

#21133982
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63769) - you deserved it (8102)

On 05/08/2014 at 9:55am - love - by STOP (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after leaving my workplace, I realized that I forgot some important work papers. When I went back to get them, I was faced with the sight of my boss and a coworker getting it on against my desk. FML

#21087500
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48786) - you deserved it (4508)

On 03/15/2014 at 6:05pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, my cousin started sending sarcastic love messages to me. I replied, with even cheesier lines. Then she rang me saying she was so glad I felt the same way. Turns out she wasn't being sarcastic. FML

#20991120
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49583) - you deserved it (8543)

On 12/13/2013 at 10:10am - love - by wth? - United Kingdom (Rotherham)

Today, I was proud when I started a confrontation with my best friend's brother because he is a sexist pig who treats women like crap. Six hours later my pride was gone: I made him an after-sex sandwich. FML

#20975509
100 comments

Today, after having some drinks at the club, I went home with this awesome girl. When I woke up, I thought the house looked really familiar. It belonged to my ex's younger sister. FML

#20970124
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47563) - you deserved it (17223)

On 11/25/2013 at 12:38pm - intimacy - by sister sister - United States (New York)

Today, we went boating with friends. For some reason the bottom of our tube deflated, causing me to be bounced roughly up and down on the water. As a result, I had the most intense orgasm of my entire life, while sitting 2 inches away from my dad's friend. He definitely noticed. FML

#20862305
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56336) - you deserved it (6003)

On 08/31/2013 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by SplishSplash (woman) - United States

Today, I went to my boss's dinner party. My sister, who also works with me, sat across from me at the table. I felt her kick me so I kicked her back. Then I heard something start crying. It was the boss's baby crawling under the table. FML

#20823157
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54121) - you deserved it (18177)

On 08/06/2013 at 1:07am - work - by offuckingcourse - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got home from work early and discovered why my 17-year-old daughter's sprained elbow isn't getting any better after weeks of treatment. She can't stop giving handjobs. FML

#20764944
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67080) - you deserved it (7913)

On 07/05/2013 at 10:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to the hospital in labor expecting a baby boy. I ended the day with identical twins, a baffled doctor, and a husband convinced that our sons can clone themselves. FML

#20139353
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25684) - you deserved it (2381)

On 10/29/2012 at 9:30pm - kids - by CutestBoysEver (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML

#19561833
330 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14598) - you deserved it (52184) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/02/2012 at 1:06am - love - by Flip (woman) - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, I met my brother for the first time in 20 years. Everything was going great, until he tried to make out with me. FML

#19094213
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43345) - you deserved it (2833)

On 02/16/2012 at 4:13pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I decided to write a romantic email to my boyfriend describing how much I love and miss him. An hour later, I got an email back saying, "I think we need to discuss this." It seems I sent it to my teacher by mistake. FML

#18675253
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28706) - you deserved it (14120)

On 01/01/2012 at 2:02pm - love - by mjbx (woman) - United Kingdom (Peterborough)



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