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JokerJim2013

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JokerJim2013
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 552
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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JokerJim2013's FML badges

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

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JokerJim2013's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a call from my long distance girlfriend. She's about a month pregnant. I haven't seen her in person for six months, but she still insists it's mine. I don't know which would be worse: her lying or her being that stupid. FML

#15321178
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52657) - you deserved it (5064)

On 03/15/2011 at 11:50am - love - by notthedad (man) - China

Today, I saw an attractive, thin woman eating a salad. Trying to be smooth, I approached her and told her that she didn't need to eat so scarcely, because she was beautiful. She promptly gave me a dirty look and informed me that she was a vegetarian. FML

#14895762
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9529) - you deserved it (41961)

On 02/08/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my baby-crazy mother expressed her concerns that I haven't conceived after a whole two months of marriage. Her advice amounted to "get divorced while you're still hot, sleep around until you get pregnant, then marry the winner." When I complained to my father, he supported her. FML

#14545580
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28475) - you deserved it (2402)

On 01/11/2011 at 1:46pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mom thought it would be a good idea for me to talk with a British accent during my job interview to make me sound smarter. I'm applying for a job at McDonald's. FML

#14394529
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21510) - you deserved it (4419)

On 12/30/2010 at 10:37am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my friends threw me a Halloween themed party for my sweet sixteen. When I arrived, one of my friends jumped out from behind the door, dressed as Michael Myers. I peed myself in front of everyone I knew. FML

#13394916
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23906) - you deserved it (5415)

On 10/10/2010 at 5:45pm - misc - by lolu - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was in the airport after saying goodbye to my boyfriend who left for three months. Walking back to my car, I saw a young couple kissing passionately. If that wasn't bad enough, the guy then picked his girlfriend up, spun her round in the air and her foot kicked me square in the jaw. FML

#12852491
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32256) - you deserved it (3390)

On 09/01/2010 at 9:50am - love - by ouch (woman) - Belgium (Brabant)

Today, I had food poisoning. I spent all day on the can. I also had a bucket to throw up into at the same time. I was sick out of both ends, at the same time. FML

#8499818
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22961) - you deserved it (1700)

On 02/21/2010 at 12:05am - health - by Will - Sent from mobile version

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to rub Tabasco sauce on my household toilet paper. FML

#8238239
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20092) - you deserved it (3083)

On 02/14/2010 at 3:42am - love - by dzisfml - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was shopping at Walmart when I ran into this stalker chick. She introduced me to her baby. He's named after me. FML

#8191025
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28696) - you deserved it (2359)

On 02/13/2010 at 12:48am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was nervous as hell for my driving test. The instructor told me to drive a straight line in reverse. I forgot to put the car in reverse from drive and drove straight into a parked vehicle. Which happened to be owned by the instructor. FML

#7290738
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9593) - you deserved it (22570)

On 01/11/2010 at 11:03pm - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I jumped into a pile of snow which had built up against a wall. Turns out it wasn't snow but a pile of cement covered by an inch of snow. I now have a 3 inch cut along my leg and a sprained wrist from falling. FML

#7277653
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9383) - you deserved it (23402)

On 01/11/2010 at 8:43am - misc - by Chris (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was on the bus and a woman got on with her 3 young children. I offered her my seat so they could all sit together. When I went to get off the bus I realized I left my bag underneath my old seat. When I tried to get it back the woman hit me and yelled at me for trying to steal her purse. FML

#6738092
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23411) - you deserved it (2129)

On 12/13/2009 at 12:30pm - misc - by gabby (woman) - Canada

Today, I took the dog for a 45 minute walk/jog. She sniffed everything on the ground like she always does. She marked her territory twice and we finally got home. As soon as I took her off the leash inside she ran to the kitchen and took a dump right on the kitchen mat. FML

#6706699
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22869) - you deserved it (3051)

On 12/11/2009 at 8:17am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was in the toilet when somebody started banging on the door loudly. I panicked and immediately cleaned my self and opened the door. As I opened the door, my brother vomited all over me. FML

#5793982
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26711) - you deserved it (2097)

On 10/12/2009 at 10:21am - misc - by thisisbad (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I went on a group job interview, where all the applicants seem to have the same qualifications. When the interviewer dismissed all of us but the prettiest girl, outraged, I told him he was a prejudiced pig, and should be ashamed of himself. Apparently she was the only one who had a car. FML

#4098846
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5618) - you deserved it (46538)

On 07/28/2009 at 2:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)



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