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JohnzSexyMamas11

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JohnzSexyMamas11

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1241
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About JohnzSexyMamas11 : Im A Pretty Laid Back Chick .. iLove Shopping & Texting & Messaging & iLove Reading Books That Make Me Laugh So Much That iCry .. iLove My Lil Puppy She Is A Pain Though .. iLove Haters & iLove Dinosaurs & Hello Kitty .. iWatch Tv Alot Cause iDont Go To School iAm Home Schooled & iLike Walking Around My Houses .. iCan Be An Outrageous Girl .. iDont Care Who You Are Ill Say What iWant If You Dont Like It Then You Know Where The Door Is :) .. iLove Neon Colors & Pink & Red & Black & Grey & Purple & White .. iLove Rock, Country, Hip Hop, Well All Kinds Except Jazz & Blues .. iHave Lots Of Blonde Moments Lmao .. iLove Zebra Print & Leopard Print .. iLove Drawing & Writing Letter .. If You Wanna Know Anything Else Just Ask

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JohnzSexyMamas11's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at Target with my mom and we finished purchasing our items. We had gotten a fan so I said, "This thing is too big to fit in." First thing my mom yells? "THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!" and starts laughing hysterically in front of the entire store. FML

#3692539
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45660) - you deserved it (11492)

On 07/12/2009 at 2:25pm - misc - by embarrassed (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my friend and I decided to get bikini waxes. Afterwards, the women who did the waxing told my friend it was $30 for her wax. Then, in front of the whole salon, the women points at me and says, "You! You so hairy- $35!". FML

#3669971
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55022) - you deserved it (8426)

On 07/11/2009 at 4:11pm - health - by waxinghorror (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got my hair done, eyebrows waxed, and a new expensive dress to impress my boyfriend. When I got home I asked him if he noticed anything different about me. He looked at me for one minute before asking, "Did you finally start using Proactive?" FML

#3285279
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41710) - you deserved it (5199)

On 06/27/2009 at 8:55pm - love - by Acneface - Sent from mobile version

Today, I took home my grandpa's ashes. I then went out with my grandma, leaving my 5-year-old at home with my 12-year-old. When I got home, my beaming 5-year-old opened the door, covered in white powder. My grandmother asked where all the powder had come from. She pointed to the empty ashbox. FML

#2980433
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43215) - you deserved it (15887)

On 06/17/2009 at 10:40pm - love - by fcnk (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I heard a baby crying while I was walking down the street. I walked around until I found it. In a dumpster. I immediately called the cops, completely freaking out. When the cops came, they pulled the baby out of the dumpster. It was a plastic baby doll. FML

#2524012
329 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43943) - you deserved it (21788)

On 06/02/2009 at 2:18am - kids - by failbaby (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my mother asked me if my boyfriend and I were getting serious. I quickly lied and said no. She then informed me that if things ever heated up that she would take me to get birthcontrol. Wanting birthcontrol, I confessed. In turn she grounded me. I am not allowed to see my boyfriend anymore. FML

#602653
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59879) - you deserved it (25928)

On 03/25/2009 at 4:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML

#279733
518 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53817) - you deserved it (311781)

On 03/12/2009 at 5:30am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, the cute boy in my biology class I had been crushing on invited me over to study for a huge test. Once I got to his house, I really had to use the bathroom. I ended ending up taking a huge dump and clogging up his toilet. He had to come plunge it for me. FML

#261901
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70209) - you deserved it (21855)

On 03/10/2009 at 4:42pm - love - by musicaddict (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around. I was sitting up on my bed when he reached down near my privates and said, "Wow babe, did you shave today? It's so soft..." He was actually touching my bottom roll above my vagina which delightfully formed a crease. FML

#139235
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52166) - you deserved it (19976)

On 02/25/2009 at 11:09pm - intimacy - by sopathetic (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I emailed my boyfriend from work. Out of habit, I absent-mindedly entered my department into the "From" field. My boyfriend didn't notice when he replied. Now my entire department knows I want to "drop to my knees and suck him when I get home." And he plans to "finish on my face." FML

#133145
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14220) - you deserved it (66305)

On 02/25/2009 at 1:41pm - work - by foolishgirl (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend took me out to a nice seafood dinner where we had some great crab legs. Later tonight we drove down to the beach and started messing around. He started touching me... with his hands still covered in salty crab juice. FML

#1806
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31729) - you deserved it (6217)

On 01/19/2009 at 10:55pm - intimacy - by rindawg - United States (California)

Today, it's been 2 weeks since I lost my virginity and I've already had sex with 3 guys. I think I'm a nympho. FML

#723
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10715) - you deserved it (72773)

On 01/07/2009 at 3:16am - intimacy - by sexaddict - Sent from mobile version



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