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JohnzSexyMamas11

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JohnzSexyMamas11

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1359
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About JohnzSexyMamas11 : Im A Pretty Laid Back Chick .. iLove Shopping & Texting & Messaging & iLove Reading Books That Make Me Laugh So Much That iCry .. iLove My Lil Puppy She Is A Pain Though .. iLove Haters & iLove Dinosaurs & Hello Kitty .. iWatch Tv Alot Cause iDont Go To School iAm Home Schooled & iLike Walking Around My Houses .. iCan Be An Outrageous Girl .. iDont Care Who You Are Ill Say What iWant If You Dont Like It Then You Know Where The Door Is :) .. iLove Neon Colors & Pink & Red & Black & Grey & Purple & White .. iLove Rock, Country, Hip Hop, Well All Kinds Except Jazz & Blues .. iHave Lots Of Blonde Moments Lmao .. iLove Zebra Print & Leopard Print .. iLove Drawing & Writing Letter .. If You Wanna Know Anything Else Just Ask

JohnzSexyMamas11's page activity

Visits<b>Adman567</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 8:09am<b>Caps_hockey</b> - the 04/12/2014 at 6:22pm<b>YNWA</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 3:22am<b>Andromeda13</b> - the 10/23/2013 at 8:21pm<b>moksha</b> - the 10/11/2013 at 9:12pm<b>megpie20693</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 3:27pm<b>taxlor</b> - the 10/03/2013 at 3:53pm<b>mazdatuner09</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 6:23pm<b>UnvalidMistakes</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 10:29pm<b>army_of_misfits</b> - the 05/16/2013 at 9:08pm<b>seniorchang</b> - the 05/01/2013 at 1:07am<b>Semperfi92340</b> - the 04/30/2013 at 9:22am<b>waffule365</b> - the 04/29/2013 at 7:14pm<b>sanchitgoyal</b> - the 04/28/2013 at 8:42am<b>watchme</b> - the 04/21/2013 at 6:45pm<b>DirkTheDiggler</b> - the 04/19/2013 at 10:36pm<b>carry_on</b> - the 04/19/2013 at 12:05pm<b>neilykins</b> - the 04/17/2013 at 10:16am

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JohnzSexyMamas11's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to slight memory of my boyfriend leaving for work an hour earlier than originally planned due to "excessive sweat" in my bed. When I removed my sheets and took in a deep whiff, my olfactory receptors instantly knew that his so called "sweat" was actually his urine. FML

#18642967
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26052) - you deserved it (2620)

On 12/29/2011 at 9:51am - misc - by dontpeeonmenxtime (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend proposed by painting his chest with "marry me?" and an arrow going down. The ring was attached to his penis with a string. FML

#17743940
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41442) - you deserved it (6212)

On 09/14/2011 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by ohmaigawd (woman) - Argentina

Today, my boyfriend let me know that when we met, he wouldn't have even talked to me if I was as fat as I am now. But lucky for me, he stays with me because, "there's love or something." FML

#17679754
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27597) - you deserved it (11680)

On 09/06/2011 at 11:11am - love - by emopoe - United States

Today, my dad told me I'm no longer allowed to see my boyfriend. Apparently there is a deer camera above my driveway that snaps pictures whenever it senses movement. Too bad I didn't know that when I was giving my boyfriend head in the driveway. FML

#17627685
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15617) - you deserved it (53282)

On 08/31/2011 at 3:36am - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, I found out why my cups of tea have been tasting a bit funny. It turns out my kettle is full of ants, so every time I boil water to make tea, the ants get re-boiled along with it. FML

#17329330
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30367) - you deserved it (15553)

On 08/01/2011 at 4:32am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my son called me from medical school, asking for a new phone. Why? Because he dropped it in the toilet. How? Trying to videotape his anus while taking a dump. I pay $80,000 a year just to hear he took a dump on his phone. FML

#16966057
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38776) - you deserved it (5562)

On 07/03/2011 at 9:50pm - intimacy - by WasteOMoney - United States (Texas)

Today, my house was robbed while I sat helplessly on the toilet with violent diarrhoea. I could hear them laughing hysterically. FML

#15922476
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49173) - you deserved it (5784)

On 04/25/2011 at 5:39pm - misc - by Mike -

Today, my husband and I had the grand opening to our new winery. We had a big sign out front saying "FREE GRAPES", to try and get more people interested. People kept giving us dirty looks when passing. We later realized there was something covering the "G". FML

#15903380
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32706) - you deserved it (9489)

On 04/24/2011 at 12:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. Everything was going perfectly, right up until he brought me back to his house to tell his family the good news. When I excused myself to the restroom, I overheard his mom say, "I thought you were going to break up with that stupid slut?" Welcome to the family. FML

#15091892
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38223) - you deserved it (3554)

On 02/23/2011 at 4:52pm - love - by storyofmylife (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, while in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML

#14806356
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42681) - you deserved it (7876)

On 02/02/2011 at 12:57am - kids - by Malakai - United States

Today, I was chosen by my coworkers to explain to my elderly boss that ''tossing the salad'' isn't another expression for saying ''brainstorming''. She didn't believe me. Guess we will all keep ''tossing the salad'' for new ideas each afternoon. FML

#14646268
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21689) - you deserved it (2817)

On 01/20/2011 at 1:01am - intimacy - by welly223 (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my teacher turned around from the blackboard and screamed, "Stop chewing your gum like a cow!" That wasn't so bad.--The bad part was when she realized it was me, she apologized saying, " I am sorry. You are not really a cow. I don't want to traumatize you; you're just overweight." FML

#13836684
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33148) - you deserved it (7374)

On 11/14/2010 at 2:31am - misc - by teach (woman) - United States (California)

Today, the girl who I was in love with for almost seven years listed me on facebook as her "Brother." FML

#13281816
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32501) - you deserved it (5713)

On 10/01/2010 at 10:11pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, I learned that my apartment's walls are thin enough for my neighbors to hear my vibrator. I've lived in this apartment for three years. I've been single and horny for all of them. FML

#12872328
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26745) - you deserved it (12995)

On 09/02/2010 at 5:09pm - intimacy - by Buzzie (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I had to tell my doctor the real reason why I can't sleep at night for him to prescribe me anymore Ambien: I still have the irrational fear that there are monsters in the closet. I'm 22. FML

#12616432
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20200) - you deserved it (13329)

On 08/19/2010 at 12:10am - health - by Sleeeeeep - Sent from mobile version



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